I fear that if the pain goes away, I will stop trying to become the person I was meant to be. I am trying to be more engaged in life and it is a good thing for me. I am trying to tell people how I feel and feel I am making positive change in my life. I fear without the pain, I will slip back into my old comfortable ways. Maybe I will have GERD or IBS which can be masked with drugs? If pain keeps me on track, I can handle a little pain. I hope that I will continue to "move in the right direction".