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What I find most fustrating about TMS

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Calum, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. Calum

    Calum Peer Supporter

    That fact that it keeps on coming back! I work on my issues, I accept the diagnosis and the symptom of the moment dies away then after a few weeks a new one comes back or the old one starts up again, the staple is the wrist pain when I use a computer (I refuse to call it RSI, because RSI does not exist only TMS exists). TMS is not like getting a vaccine, bang and the problem is gone you are protected. You have to constantly work on it because if you stop it comes back. Wish there was a way to just get rid of it for good, but at least my symptoms are fully manageable now.
     
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Calum)- You have to constantly work on it because if you stop it comes back.

    Eric)- This is true about the Work Calum till you are reprogrammed and then your work should be second nature like habit , right?
    What is your protocol and maybe I can help you tweak it for better results ok :)

    Calum)- Wish there was a way to just get rid of it for good,

    Eric)- There is a way to get rid of it for good , its the reprogramming ok. I have a question for you , When you get it under control and your doing better
    do you still stick with your protocol for change -- like to a T ? I mean it is a life change and You should come to a point that its -- well like easy ya know.

    Calum)- but at least my symptoms are fully manageable now.

    Eric)- I bet if you take this thought you said above that its manageable and become very happy with that. Then keep at the Tms therapy work and do it in gratitude --
    With a spirit of hope that theirs still more change to come. I bet, I just bet that soon in time you will have this under control. If you take me at my word you will be thanking me soon.
    Bless You
     
    BruceMC, Lily Rose and Anne Walker like this.
  3. David B

    David B Well known member

    Calum, According to the therapist I work Herbies life change point is key. She told me she saw an old patient who had symptoms come back. She quickly discovered she had slipped back into old living habits of not taking time for herself, working to hard etc. she said she had slipped back because "it was easy". I told her that would have been my guess. She said she sees this all the time.

    negative patterns run deep and are sneaky. They will be dormant and then raise their ugly head when you aren't paying attention. if you stick to you new way of thinking and being everyday you make them small, weak and maybe most importantly you catch them quickly when they do arise and then you can watch them pass like the illusionary characters at the end of a Beautiful Mind. It's a great scene that I never truly understood until I started healing my TMS

    And if you slip it's ok. We are all human. Perfect in our imperfection. Perfect in our ability to get ourselves back on track every time we slip off a bit.

    Be well
     
  4. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    The pathways in our brains create 'grooves'. Our patterns are those grooves. The longer and deeper the pattern, the more effort is needed to not slip into that groove. It really is so very easy to 'slip' into the old pattern, quite literally. We are so close to that edge, it crumbles and we just slid right into it.

    Which is why it is so important to create a stronger, new pattern, letting the old pattern erode away. The new pattern must be more intense and compelling. It also must be an enduring and far reaching groove that we intend to strengthen and deepen. At first, it takes tremendous will power and work. Eventually, it transforms and ages, and becomes our new 'easy'.

    This ... the work we are doing ... it is not a 'diet' to be done until we reach our goal. It is a for-ever life style change. It is committing to fully loving yourself and treating all aspects of yourself with compassion. Gently, we guide the various aspects of ourselves into alignment.

    And really ......... if things were easy, what would be the point? It is effort that makes us grow. It is the challenges that broaden our perspectives and give us a clearer vision of the worlds, both inner and outer.

    As David so eloquently stated, we are perfect in our imperfections. When you start from perfect, you simply enhance the perfections.

    with grace and gratitude,
    ^_^
     
  5. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Calum, I can relate to what you're saying. I've been under an emotional load the past few weeks and it's been a roller coaster ride. Pain and symptom abate….more emotional stressors…pain or annoying other symptoms trickle back in. GAH! It gets tiresome, doesn't it?

    Herbie, I appreciate your words of wisdom on the reprogramming. As well as what you said, David and Lily Rose. My issues have been in works for many years so I have to remind myself that I'm in this for the long haul. No quick easy fixes! I saw this illustration the other day and I thought it describes my TMS journey at this point in time. :)
    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    North Star, I love the drawings.
    I've been playing the Doghousediaries on a golf course of my life for years, but
    thanks to TMS pain, am on the fairway leading to the green on the 18th hole to sink
    the ball in the hole by the flag.
    If it had been easier or quicker to heal from back pain,
    I wouldn't have gone the distance, and I am learning a lot by the journey.
     
  7. Calum

    Calum Peer Supporter

    Thank you all for your replies and support, it means a lot.

    Eric my protocal is pretty bad to be honnest, it usually goes like this: I get symptom pain, so I work on my journaling and read loads of success stories and use positve visualisation etc. until it goes away, and then because it becomes less importent (because I'm not feeling pain there is no urgency) I slip with my routine and revert to bad habits just like Dave was descibing, back into those grooves in my brain Lily talked about. I begin working to hard again and not taking time to reflect and journal, I think about past issues and focues intensly on the future rather than on living in the now. The only bad habit I don't fall back into is bowing down to my symptoms and allowing them to rule my life, now I just get on with the activities with the knowledge that the symptoms are only tempory and cannot really hurt me and you are right Eric I should be happy and thankful about this, I am so much better than this time last year like 70-80%!

    Thank you all for reconfirming that I have to continue to make time for myself, for the present, to just sit and appreciate myself and my life as it is now.
    Do any of you have any tips or tricks that you use to keep yourselves on track to help yourself get from the stage where it is hard to the stage where it is second nature. A true life change?
     
    Msunn and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  8. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    No tricks. But perhaps I can offer this 'reality check'.

    When I began yoga, I went at it 300%. Way too intensely. I could not maintain that intensity, and actually injured myself in the process. It gave me some valuable lessons, however.

    Life unfolds, and we often have little to say over what comes at us. Boundaries are important, but so is being available to the ones we love or care about. If you are someone who gives and gives and gives, however ... then this is an area to reset, or even newly create, those boundaries. Taking time for yourself will actually give you more ability to do that giving.

    Practice being selfish, so that you can be self LESS. Being in pain, or being a martyr, or sacrificing yourself ... this ultimately will not serve you. It will make you less available when you are needed.

    Can you take one hour a day for yourself? Some people can, but for some, that is just too much. How about 30 minutes? That may even seem too much on some days. Here is something, though ........... if you take even 10 minutes on a day you thought you could spare none, this 10 minutes counts. It is more than you would have done.

    Rather than spending one solid hour (other than teaching) in a personal yoga practice, I break it up into manageable time slots. Any moment I am 'waiting', I turn inward. Standing in line at the store ... rather than getting impatient or having shallow thoughts, I practice my affirmation, or breathing, or resetting my posture, or ....... anything. Listening to my body, listening to the sounds around me. Just ... being aware. Often I just watch people, note their patterns, and realize they are those smokey mirrors of myself. I see someone slumping, I am reminded to adjust my own posture. I see aggravation, I become even kinder. I see distress, I offer gentleness.

    There are a million ways to do these tiny things for ourselves. It adds up. How many opportunities through out each day can you find a moment to listen to yourself? To hear yourself.

    Every one of those moments is also a chance to offer gratitude for what you do have, for those around you, for life itself, in all its gory glory. Life is messy. I don't like messy, but I am becoming more accepting, because there is simply nothing I can do to alter that. Instead, I am learning to flow, and adapt, and even embrace (this only happens on really optimistic days!) the dips and curves that present themselves.

    It is all just a practice. Take small moments. Brushing your teeth. Stirring your food. Sitting at a stop light. Standing under the flow of water from the shower (this is my new favorite, noticing the sensation of warmth cleansing my skin).

    My girlfriend thought I was crazy when I said I enjoyed washing dishes. I told her that the feel of warm, bubbly water felt good to me. Now, she is starting to appreciate what once was a hated chore. I like warm laundry, too. Or the feel of my towel that has been hanging near the wood stove all day.

    Just .... notice.

    This becomes habit. This opens the eyes and heart to the world around you.

    This ... opens you.

    with grace and gratitude,
    ^_^
     
    Msunn, Ellen and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  9. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Lily Rose…your comment made me smile about the dish washing. I quit using my dishwasher several months ago. I enjoy the suds…the fragrance…the simplicity and satisfaction.
     
  10. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    What more can I say Calum. Lily Rose said it all -- adding to what you said and already know to do.
    Then that picture North Star put up , Well -- You guys are Awesome.
    Bless You
     
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  11. Calum

    Calum Peer Supporter

    Just notice...instead of retreating into myself and thinking about my plans and worries, just notice the present.
    I'm going to try this, I know it will be hard, but I will try. I'm going to hike up a mountain tomorrow, when I get to the top I'm going to try and close my mind to everything inside me and open it to what is around me to really take it in.

    Thank you all for your kind words and support, it means a lot. :)
     
  12. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    I found this wonderful quote today: Listen! Or your tongue will make you deaf. (Cherokee saying)

    Methinks this could also say: Listen! Or your mind will make you deaf.

    with grace and gratitude,
    ^_^
     
  13. David B

    David B Well known member

    Lily Rose, you put out a great reminder: the transformation is not about the pain it's about how we live in every moment. This is the essence at the root of most teachings from most of the worlds religions. And certainly the root of Buddhism which seems to be the underpinning or a close relative of nearly everything I have read about curing TMS symptoms.

    Separation from the random thought and feeling machine that unconsciously drives most of our behavior is the key to freedom but it takes a lot of practice.

    I have spent many hours over the past 15 years meditating, focusing on the breath which will suppress thoughts and emotions. Sitting for 35-50 minutes at a time is not easy but it has been this experience with TMS has taught me it's even harder to notice throughout the day what is spewing out of that machine.

    You can and you must with all the clumsiness that comes with a new skill, slow down to gain dominion over your mind's impact on your being.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  14. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    The practice of Buddhism is very powerful. It's beauty has woven itself through the fabric of my personal beliefs. It is not a religion, rather it is a philosophy.

    Recently, I read in one of my Dalai Lama books that as one delves deeper into the practice, a choice will eventually be required. Buddhism is about emptiness, whereas religion is about fullness.

    Emptiness is one of those words that can have a negative meaning, yet emptiness is crucial in order to feel the fullness. Consider our breathing. We inhale until we are full, and then we release until we are empty. It was this very analogy that caused me to question the concept of the 'choice'. I am still following this path, slowly walking and examining that which is around me.

    Words have power. Great power. To suppress our emotions is the very cause of our ails. Repress and Suppress are both about squashing, subduing, pressing away from ourselves. I would offer other words: dissipate, untangle, release ....

    Yesterday, I learned of another definition of Dominion. Our English dictionary states it as domination. Originally, it is from the Hebrew word yorade, which is to have communion with, to have compassion for ...

    So yes ... gain dominion with your mind. Gain compassion for and have communion with. This invokes softness of the heart.

    To sit quiet, to meditate ... to listen - this is a one of our most powerful tools. Whether five minutes, or fifty. it is so very important.

    Your practice is an inspiration, David.

    with grace and gratitude,
    ^_^
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  15. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Keep us posted, were all rooting for ya.
    Bless You
     
  16. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wow, Nothing more than Wow. Thanks for that wisdom David B.
     
  17. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    And thank you my Dear Lily Rose, Your research and learning have brought new wisdom to my mind -- Awesome
    Bless You
     
  18. David B

    David B Well known member

    Lilly Rose that definition is terrific. Thank you for sharing.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  19. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    In my early years of yoga practice, it came to light that there was an attitude of ... secrecy. The teachers taught .. but they observed and with-held aspects. Particularly, what comes to mind, is a meditation seminar held by an ex-monk. He put a sharp lid on my question, and stated I need to find a teacher to work with in exploring what I was describing. My animal-shadow hair rose on the back of my neck.

    I abhor power-plays, or withholding information, or making things seem mystical when, in truth, they are simply practical Truth.

    My research, my exploration .... I share with an open heart and open palms. Anyone may take what feels right for them, and leave behind what does not. I offer no judgment on the choices.

    I am glad you both found something that resonates ...

    with grace and gratitude,
    ^_^
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  20. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    "Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life."

    Lily Rose, that ex-monk who didn't share his wisdom of meditation and peace with you.
    He didn't know that the mystery of life is sharing and caring. It's love.

    I know you've solved the mystery from reading your posts.
     
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