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What Happens

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Markus, Sep 21, 2015.

  1. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I'm trying to figure out what happens because I started this journey in March, and I remember feeling fear actually leaving me. Then,all of the sudden it becomes a struggle! What happens do some of us get distracted, visit THIS SITE too much, get called trolls and other names by members, what happens? I talk to some who are not healed after 5 years so,what happens? It has to be the inner child throwing a fit, or tms laughing in his big ass easy chair,smoking that fat cigar, lol!
    Im very upset with myself that I'm not healed after 6 months.
  2. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    I am probably not someone to give good advise as I have my own TMS struggles....

    But, I truly believe what Monte Hueftle says is TRUE!!! That is day to day SURPRESSED emotions and STRESS! OUR THOUGHTS controls our body!

    If you look at the newer TMS docs the ones who have study with Dr. Sarno, they don't talk about the ID aka the inner child throwing fits!

    They talk about STRESS, life problems, and THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS, plus FEAR!!!!

    The fact that you are upset with yourself because you aren't healing is STRESSING your body even more.

    Also, the new TMS docs talk about how the amgydala (when hyped) up needs to calm down...

    I used to belong to Anxietycentre.com! It is almost like TMS, they should really call it STRESS ILLNESS, but Jim Folk who had almost EVERY TMS symptom talks about the four to one ratio in healing..

    If you have had STRESS for a month it takes four times the ratio for the body to calm down!!!

    Dr. Sarno made a great discovery, but, I find that there is more to the puzzle then what he knew....

    Be kind to yourself and to be honest, maybe, including me, we just need to learn to live with pain for a while and be HAPPY!!!

  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    First, how do you define healed? As perfectionists, many TMSers will only accept 100%. I'm not there after four years but compared to my condition back then, I'm thrilled with how much of my life I got back.

    That being said, these are the stumbling blocks I see and hear, which I am listing according to the things that seem to be missing or lacking. And when I say "you" below, I'm referring to everyone who asks the same questions that you just asked:

    Mindfulness. The opposite of mindfulness is continuing to allow negative chatter to take over your thoughts.

    Honesty. It's too easy to let the brain tell you what you should NOT journal about.

    Self-acceptance. You have to love yourself enough that you know in your heart that you deserve to heal.

    Mind shift. It takes a 180 degree shift to completely understand that your thoughts are what control how you feel, both physically and emotionally.
    JoeB1, angelic333 and Markus like this.
  4. Markus

    Markus Guest

    That is great advice thank you Kalo! Me be happy? I'll get in trouble, others won't like it!
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  5. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    It took most of us years to generate the negative emotions that cause(d) our pain, so it is no wonder that healing from them takes a while. For some, months or even longer.

    Marus, do try to be happy. Think and do things that make you feel good. Forget about others, if they can't be happy. I stopped being around a neighborhood couple because they were so gloomy and always complaining. It was like they were poisoning their own drinking water, and mine.
  6. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    It is a challenge to be happy when you aren't feeling good...I hear ya! I am taking care of my 90 year old Mom and believe me its tuff when the TMS is flaring like crazy!

    But, I know its all those emotions! Struggling when I was a child with Aspergers, dyslexia, and being constantly bullying by people!

    What I meant by being happy is we need to get on with life regardless how bad we feel...After all TMS is benign!

    Dr. Sarno and the rest taught us that it is HARMLESS, but, hurts like heck!!!

    So, we have to remind ourselves that we are going to be okay and how ever long it takes to get well to be patient! Easier said the done..

    The problem though is how do we calm the body down so that the symptons easy up?

    How do we not let others bother us so it doesn't upset us to cause more symptons or to keep the cycle going...

    Well, journaling and letting go (which I have trouble with) is one way...

    Mindfulness which I am going to learn to get rid of negative chattering is another way...

    Loving ourselves as Walt has stated is another way....I am learning that one too...

    It took STEVEO almost 2 years to be symptom free and when I read his story and the suffering he went through, and if it were me in his shoes, I don't know if I would of kept believing in TMS...

    STEVEO was crippled by pain and by believing and changing his life, he got well!

    The funny thing about us TMSers...Is we think our pain is worst then the next person suffering with TMS!

    Sometimes, when I read the board and someone is talking about their pain, I would think, wow, wrist pain, well that nothing, wait until you get Trigemenial Neuralagia or if it's not hurting in my temple and jaw, its back to my sciatica...Us TMSers always think our pain is exceptional or different!

    However, its all the same no matter the location!

    JanAtheCPA and Markus like this.
  7. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Thanks for all the awesome responses, I am expecting too much from myself. Everyone hit on something that I need to remember or do! Thanks for making my day brighter!
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  8. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Jan I define healed so that I'm at the point where I could do everything I could do before without much thought! Thought I'd actually answer you, lol! But I did get some great advice. I think this all takes a great deal of patience.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  9. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    While waiting for the mindfulness meditation sessions to begin Oct. 1, I have found some good videos on Youtube.
    I especially like the one from Michael Sealey called "Guided Meditation for Detachment from Over-Thinking" which focuses on deep breathing in living in the present and achieving calmness. I watched it with a cup of hot milk and became so relaxed I almost fell asleep. He's very hypnotic, with a very soothing voice.

    And there are many others. Living in the present and not thinking about the past or future is so helpful in TMS healing.
  10. AndrewMillerMFT

    AndrewMillerMFT Well known member

    "Im very upset with myself that I'm not healed after 6 months."

    Hi Markus, the above could be a clue to your inner world. As others have said above, current stressors can have a big impact on TMS along with personality traits which contribute to many things being stressors in the first place. I encourage you to explore the part of you that is so upset and what that means. If you're not healing on your timeline, that means what, exactly. The answer to that will be a further clue to your psychological distress.

    Best of luck to you,

    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  11. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Thanks for the input Andrew. I am no longer angry at myself. I now realize that after being in chronic pain for 13 years that, I should not place any uneccesary expectations on myself. I just continue to due the "work" and one day I will be pain free. Often times I know I am expressing the thoughts of those around me. or my frustration with those around me, but I no longer have a timeline in which I should heal. But as I just ordered Dr. Shubinars workbook, I'm certain that I will gain a better understanding of my own thinking. Thank you for the input.

    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  12. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I know we shouldn't put a time frame on healing, but alot of recovery programmes do, which is quite misleading for anyone new. E.g "Nancy Selfridge - freedom from fibromyalgia. The 5 week program proven to conquer pain".

    I think alot of the authors should really be mindful when making such claims, otherwise it can discourage and reduce peoples confidence when they don't see significant improvements within the time.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  13. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I agree Mike, I was wary of the title of Dr. Shubinar's book "unlearn your pain" a 28 day program to reprogram your pain. He does mention curing the pain.but I believe it's a guide that takes 28 days and IF IF IF, a person does the work,it's should give you a terrific look inside. After this I'm reading Steve O's book over and over er until it's almost memorized!

    mike2014 and JanAtheCPA like this.
  14. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I guess even though their programmes are successful, they have to go the "hard sell" route to market the book. As a nation we are so used to putting deadlines on everything, we even expect this from healing.

    I think you are wise with your purchases, both are fabulous books. But again, like you say, If - it all depends how much time we invest in healing. What is too much, what is too little.

    Sorry, don't mean to ramble lol
  15. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I love a good ramble:), I believe healing along with growing, mourning properly,
    takes a long time for those of us who (as children), through no fault of our own, we're given a predisposition to the illness! As long as we're breathing and aware we are on a continuing path of learning. Sometimes immense sadness is a part of it,sometimes we coast and think nothing could ever go wrong again. But, since this post,I've come to believe life is a growth experience until we cease to exist in our current forms. (Now THAT'S a ramble) lol!

    JanAtheCPA and mike2014 like this.
  16. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Very very true, Markus.

    I just hope I don't miss life by being mindless lol
    JanAtheCPA and Markus like this.
  17. angelic333

    angelic333 Peer Supporter

    This is all great stuff. I would like to add, we all believe we can think our way to peace and happiness, and a peaceful mind has no pain.
    There is no peace in the gross mind. Moments of happiness are as fleeting as moments of discomfort. This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness is finding that peace in our heart , that exists in every human being.
    There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.
    How is this done? By training the mind with meditation. Meditation does not happen in our brains. Meditation is connecting with the inner peace in our heart. It exists in us all. It is a practice. The results may be instant or may take a long time.
    Be patient with yourself and know you are on the path to feeling better.
    God bless you.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.

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