Day 18 What emotions are most prevalent?

[Iravati]

I was throwing away my journal entries so I only have the last few days available.

Based on my recollection of the last two weeks, I feel like anger was primary and now I have transitioned to more sadness and fear has come up as a dominant emotion. Fear seems to be prominent, it seems, at almost all times. Associated to that is the anxiety. I think that since I am more aware of the anxiety, it also feels more amped up.

I also feel a stillness and a presence in the moment which seems unfamiliar (I also have an AuDHD diagnosis). I don't think I have every experienced this level of continuous presence until now. Its terrifying; my mind is a scary place. No wonder it would always be trying to escape the present and rather be anywhere else. Relatedly, I am also not feeling as stuck as I historically used to in trying to do basic life tasks and work. I am curious if this will last.

Physically I deal with a burning sensation in my chest and a throbbing sensation in my forehead. I can't say they are going away yet but I am observing them and letting them be. I am getting used to their presence. We can keep hanging out - at least I have company along the way. If awareness of my tight forehead means avoiding my migraines, that's a trade-off I am willing to make for now.

 

[hecate105]

Being able to identify the emotions and allow them is really good - keep doing the work and it does become easier in time....!!
But most of all - be kind to yourself.....

 

[Iravati]

Yes, thank you for pointing that out! For all of my life I've always experienced emotions as physical sensations; a hole in my chest, a tightening in my head. Its only as I have worked through the program I am able to put names to these sensations - so already a huge improvement!

 

[feduccini]

Based on my recollection of the last two weeks, I feel like anger was primary and now I have transitioned to more sadness and fear has come up as a dominant emotion. Fear seems to be prominent, it seems, at almost all times. Associated to that is the anxiety.

I read somewhere sadness is usually pushed away by anger. I have a lot of difficult in feeling sadness for real, but after months and months releasing anger, sadness is showing up more. The catch though is not let it make you fell you're a victim of destiny.
Fear is a tricky one, because we don't want to get stuck in it and dwell in the lymbic system, but also we need to feel it as well in order to address it.
For the anxiety I recommend the DARE approach (let it be there, don't take it seriously, and slowly get used to the unconfortable feeling). It sucks, but you get good at it.

 

[Iravati]

Yes! I definitely feel that the sadness lurks under the surface, a bit slippery and difficult to hold on to. I also feel that when I can find more acceptance of the things which upset me inside, I can also reach some of that calm acceptance of the sadness under the surface. I get glimpses of it.

Thank you sharing for the DARE approach. It seems v similar to the other book which was recommended to me: Clair Weekes' 'Hope and Help for Your Nerves'. She summarizes it as: Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass. I find this useful also in moments when I am able to recognize the anxiety. I'm getting better at it.