Day 18 What Emotions are Coming Up?

At the end of day 18th, the question of what emotions are most prevalent so far in my journal entry was asked. Reflecting back when I started this program I would have never guessed what emotions would come up!?!

So far, I have untapped resentment and anger towards my parents and wife; anger towards my kids; pressure and guilt brought on by my parents' passive aggressive manor; anger towards an old coach; and worry and fear of the unknown! Coming from a stoic person; what a list!!!!

1. Resentment and Anger towards my parents: My parents raised me and my siblings in a caring, loving, and christian faith-based home. They always excepted us to be "good" and coddled us (my mother was a homemaker). My entire family loves each other but we have a surface relationship: never share emotions and rarely tell each other we love each other. My parents encouraged us to be "home bodies" and passive aggressively wanted us to stay home instead of going out with friends. These actions, in my opinion, have caused me to have repressed resentment and anger towards them.

2. Anger towards my wife: Since my mother always "coddled" to my every need as a child I believe my inner child still excepts that nurturing from my wife, and that is not in her "DNA". Now that we have kids my unconscious mind notices that she gives them more attention than me... Therefore, I believe I have repressed anger towards her (even though I love her very much!)

I will share more later...it feels good to actually show / tell some emotions for a change!

 

The self discovery continues.
Great progress.

 

How wonderful your list of insights. Very deep.

Remember that to use Dr. Sarno's work, you do not need to change anything. You are seeing the connections between underlying feelings that "don't want to be felt" and your TMS. You see why you are in pain. Congratulations!

 

I am starting to see the connections, but wondering what the next steps are. I am on day 19 of the SEProgram and seem to always be looking forward to the next day's program (maybe due to the my addictive personality and need to "concur" this program) .