Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by eskimoeskimo, Aug 7, 2020.
Not why but how
I get those symptoms a lot too but they don't bother me and they fade away after I ignore them for a bit.
I'm not the best at it either but I always find a way forward even if I'm struggling. Sometimes you don't know "how" until your intuition suddenly figures it out in the moment. Ever had an idea suddenly click unexpectedly or figure out a solution to something after putting it aside for a while?
For me they don't go
That's what I thought for a while until I noticed it ebbs and flows.
do you get tinnitus?
When it’s quiet I can hear a slight hissing or whooshing in my ears and it’s driving me crazy. Makes me worried my hearing has been damaged.
It's another equivalent, I found it here.
It doesn't cause hearing damage so it's TMS if you already have it checked out
https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-q-and-a-severe-tinnitus-can-interfere-with-hearing-but-doesnt-cause-hearing-loss/ (Mayo Clinic Q and A: Tinnitus can interfere with hearing but doesn’t cause hearing loss)
I've had tinnitus since I was 17 (32 now), and it hasn't gotten any worse or damaged my hearing. In fact, my hearing is superb. Go figure
Well, did doctors checked that out? Tinnitus can have physical causes, but any good doctor would found any abnormalities.
There could be other causes: caffeine, certain drugs, and illnesses like high blood pressure.
If not, then it's known that stress can cause tinnitus(also that heart pounding you mentioned). It's meaningless now to discuss if stress as it is(stressfull job, relationships, or thinking too much about things) is the same as TMS, important thing is to rule out medical causes, and after that try to change your lifestyle and/or your inner dialogue.
Also, if doctors will find nothing you should stress less because you know it's not a permanent damage.
A little, I can only hear it when it's quiet
I meant I'm worried that the tinnitus is evidence of damage which has already occurred, not that the tinnitus will do damage. I care a lot about music, so have a hard time tolerating the possibility of even minor hearing loss. I also worry about the tinnitus getting worse, and continuing to make me anxious and distract me. It's already become hard for me to tolerate quiet rooms and silence.
Do you view it as TMS or not? I mean in your case
My GP didn't see anything abnormal. I was too afraid to get a hearing test because I knew (as did my doctor) that I would obsess over any findings. And I haven't actually noticed any hearing troubles. But tinnitus is another one of those things, like chronic pain, that seems very little understood and usually permanent. So just the sort of thing I obsess over.
Is that normal? Does everyone hear something if they pay close attention in a quiet room? I can't tell if what I'm hearing is normal (and I've magnified it by obsessing) or not.
I'm still healing but these last days I've been seeing a lot of improvements and signs that I'm getting this under control. I've read the whole thread and I thank you for starting it, as I've found a lot of good advice, particularly in MiffyBunny and RogueWave's posts.
When reading your posts I feel like I know exactly what you mean - we're not really similar when it comes to symptoms, but I have OCD which manifests in many different ways, and has been since I was a kid. It's kind of under control now.
I say this because your whole thread screams OCD to me. I did the same constant reassurance-seeking, a bit on these forums and a lot, and I really mean a lot, with my family, especially my mother and my sister. Constantly telling them how I was hurting, why wasn't I getting better, etc. This was definitely the worst thing I could do. It's natural to want to connect with others and to share your struggles, but at some point it's getting too much.
You now seem to be OCD-ing with tinnitus, which, according to you, is mild - as is your neck pain. You say you've tried everything under the TMS-umbrella of healing and it didn't work. OK. Several members of this forum, members who have completely healed themselves, have pointed out to you why you could be wrong in that light. But as you don't agree with them, I'm gonna take this the other way round - because that is what worked for me.
Let's say this TMS stuff isn't doing much for you. Your doctors have assured you time and again that everything looks fine. You do not have broken bones, infections, or cancer. But you do have symptoms that cause you constant disconfort. So you're at a crossroads :
1/ you can let despair destroy you, posting from time to time on these forums to argue about TMS and the way to cure it ;
2/ you can go back on the medical merry-go-round, asking for more testing, more PT... but that would probably send you back to choice n°1 ;
3/ you can decide to be OK to live with this constant disconfort.
Needless to say, I'm rooting for solution n°3. That's what I did, and I'm getting better as a result. But you can't do it TO get better. You really, really have to accept your life as it is now. I have friends and family who are definitely struggling with TMS, too - only they're not aware it's TMS. Or, for some of them, they definitely have structural issues : one of my friends is a young woman born with a difformity (don't know what it's called in English) and has always walked completely crooked, with a crutch, and has trouble speaking. Well, she became a journalist, and is passionate about puppet-theater. We met at a qi gong and tai chi session - she had never done qi gong and tai chi before, and just decided to try and crossed the country by train and bus to do this session, with people she didn't know and who could have reacted badly to her handicap. She had to do the trainings sitting on a chair. And she enjoyed the session just like anyone else. She's a badass.
Another of my friends, whom I'm really close to, has 2 auto-immune conditions and multiple other health issues (I do believe these are psychogenic because she has a TMS-personality and faced some really bad stuff during her childhood). She has Hashimoto and Goujerot-Sjörgen syndroms. She had vaginismus (better now). She got hepatitis from an unknown cause ; frequent colds that would let her lying down in bed ; really bad gluten intolerance meaning she can't eat a lot of good stuff ; vertigo and dizziness... And there is still trouble within her family.
Well, guess what ? She's finishing her PhD (brilliantly), met a great guy and got married one year ago, got a full-time job, managed multiple moving-outs and moving-ins, goes out with friends (well, at least before covid !), has lots of things she's interested in and enjoys doing... Basically, she's a real badass too.
And so I said to myself : if these people can get through life, and not only get through it, but enjoy it, with all the difficulties they're facing and compared to which mine are just a speck of dust, then I can be a badass too. Just like you. We can decide to be like the people we admire, the ones who keep having really bad stuff happening to them and who keep on keeping on, and with a smile too. Even if we did have structural issues, which I don't think any of us have. We're not special. We're just wired to over-react to things. But wires can be cut, and new ones can replace them.
I'll leave it at that, because like other members say, I don't think it is good to allow reassurance-seeking, especially when we get overboard with it. But I'll leave with this poem, I think many of you already know it : http://www.phys.unm.edu/~tw/fas/yits/archive/oliver_wildgeese.html (Mary Oliver Wild Geese).
I love that poem!!!
Me too - it's exquisite!
Probably, just feels like a little static. Reassurance seeking would often keep me anxious longer.
Even though these impulses are hard to overcome, finding something interesting to habituate yourself to like a new hobby etc can make it easier to do the work with. Also remembering that you aren't alone makes it easier to get back up.
Resistance both to change and to taking the kind of responsibility that facilitates mind body healing is an awful bugger. Owning your bad habits is really uncomfortable until you start discovering unexpected strengths, insights, and ideas.
At least for me, avoidance is a deeply ingrained habit, so when I do something different I sometimes get flare-ups but I feel pretty excited and confident for the most part.
Don't be scared of your intuition. Getting to know it will only help you in the future. It's a gift we all have to use and to give.
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