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What do we do with all this rage?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Alex5678, May 9, 2020.

  1. Alex5678

    Alex5678 Newcomer

    What do we do with all this rage? It surfaces when we cure ourselves. So now it’s there. Now what do we do with it?
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    -Be with the energy, the feeling of it in your body: what is the sensation?
    -Journal it out, express it, allow it safely. perhaps physically with exercise or beating a pillow with a wiffle bat.
    -Have understanding about why it is there, meaning refrain from judgement, have compassion for the parts of you which are rightfully enraged about something, inquire into its origins.
    -Understand that you're getting used to being in touch with something which you were not in direct contact with before. It is perhaps new. It is natural and OK.
    -Your task is to cultivate an aware relationship with it, unlike the past.
    -If you're with it mindfully, it will promote better boundaries, more clarity in your life, over time.
    -Use the awareness cognitively to "think psychologically." When you're aware of syptoms, remember the rage, knowing that there is stuff inside, powerful stuff. When you're aware of the rage, connect this power to the symptoms: "no wonder this might come out sideways in symptoms. This is some powerful sh=t!
    Pietro Carloni, Katy Elise and TG957 like this.
  3. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    For me, even after I recognized that my symptoms were an emotional response to my rage and I was “cured,” rage (and other emotions such as fear) continued to be an issue in my life, leading to other symptoms. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me reframe my thoughts and perceptions in a way that significantly lessened my rage and emotions. I actually felt some intense resentment and anxiety today and remembered to take a deep breath and focus on what’s in my control. As someone who loves to lead strategy discussions based on verifiable data points and negotiate the best possible agreements and deals with others, remembering that I do have control over my actions turns my rage into productive thoughts. Is what I’m afraid of based on any verified truths? If so, is it truly the worst thing that could ever happen? How can I negotiate a favorable possible outcome? What strategy will be effective in my situation? Personally, my love for reason and planning helps me deal with my rage and emotions. We’re all different so my approach may not work for everyone, but it changed my life.

    Rage and other emotions are part of life and will always be present to some degree - it’s all about controlling it when it’s no longer productive. Balance is key.
    TG957 likes this.
  4. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    in my humble opinion rage is not the problem, is fear and guilt for being enraged.
    Fear about our behaviour when enraged and guilt about the consequences of our rage over the beloved ones. The solution: feel the rage with no fear and guilt. The good person never will act «dangerously» even when angry.
    Katy Elise likes this.
  5. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Any emotion that prompts the sympathetic nervous system’s fight-or-flight response is powerful enough to bring on symptoms, especially fear but also other emotions that cause or stem from fear because fight-or-flight mode is all about that caveman instinct to flee when you’re in danger. It’s probably less about one specific emotion and more about achieving emotional balance overall. Rage is a popular emotion discussed on these forums for several reasons - Sarno was focused on it, it’s an emotion many people with symptoms have historically denied, etc. But over time I think it’s become more accepted that rage is not the only emotion that triggers symptoms or interacts with sympathetic nervous system.
    JohnP79 likes this.
  6. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    THIS is a fascinating idea. Sarno himself said something like this in the rage-fear-shame-narcissistic-low-self-esteem portion of "Healing Back Pain"... "Secretly we fear retaliation".....

    When I was Young (and relatively pain free) I was extraordinarily violent. I had no hang-ups about it and most of the physical altercations I got involved in were with OTHER violent young men in private. Later, as I began developing 'ethics and morals' (Fear and shame) I started having anxiety about beating on people...and finally by my mid twenties, I had a transformative experience and never, ever did anything like that again.... and within a few years I was a cripple from pain.

    To the OP. AFTER my pain left, I nearly went back to being 12 and fighting with co-workers, except now I was in my thirties, a father and a bread winner... what to do with all of that rage?

    I went and got help from a shrink. He was really good. We did this :
    ..just like that.

    I used to be afraid of myself. My emotions were sooo strong and felt insurmountable. The only relief I ever got was from destruction or physical altercations. I didn't want the symptoms back and I didn't want to go to jail? What to do?

    That did pass... I just needed to be honest with someone.

    One truth I got to walk away with.... I am more scared of myself than anything out 'there'. To this day I can abort a TMS attack by running wild , violent fantasy's in my head.... I just don't have to act on them. They are just thoughts. I haven't got a parking ticket in 20 years.

    Just like the unconscious can't distinguish yesterday from 20 years ago, it can't distinguish reality from fantasy.... I have beaten the crap out of many people in my 'gestalt' private rage sessions...and I am pain free!!

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