Daniel L. What determines when pain starts

[Jacqui9]

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Question

I am also posting this in the Support Forum so hope you don't mind that I am also posting here. It's also the reason that it is directed to more than one person.

I'm curious if anyone can track what brought your pain on at a certain point in your life. I'm 69. I had a neglectful, emotionally abusive childhood and have been a perfectionist, goodist, etc. for most of my life. My pain didn't not start until November of 2015. There was nothing at that particular time in my life that was more stressful than any other time in my life, my childhood of course did not change and my personality did not change. So I'm asking myself why then. Thanks in advance.

 

[Daniel G Lyman LCSW]

Answer

I’ll be honest with you: I have no idea. Without getting more information from you, I won’t try and hypothesize why. I don’t know why your pain came on at that point, as opposed to any other point.

For some people it comes on during highly stressful times in our lives, and for others it comes on when we have nothing else to focus on. If we spend a lifetime training our brain to operate at an anxious/perfectionist level, then it becomes uncomfortable when things slow down for us. It is often in those moments that pain begins.

Here is what I’d encourage: don’t worry so much about the why, and focus more on the how you can change things for the better. Best of luck.

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[EricFeelsThisWay]

Hi Daniel,
Interesting you should ask that question. I'm reading a book on trauma and PTSD and the author says, "PTSD can be either acute or delayed-onset. Acute PTSD occurs within 6 months after a traumatic event. In delayed-onset PTSD, the symptoms occur anytime later than six months after the traumatic event. This can be 1 year, 20 years, or even 40 years after the traumatic event."
Trauma can also be developmental in nature, where someone (presumably a child) is exposed to chronic, long-term abuse, neglect, or misattunement. Maybe that's what you're suffering from?