So today's question is what am I avoiding or have been avoiding through the SEP program? Well this is really hard to say but here it is: my first time in hospital, first verbal abuse from my father, being kicked out of our home, fight with siblings (the big one that made me leave), a trauma from childhood I never talk about and can't do it still and can't name it either, attachment to my husband. I feel not ready yet and don't want to push too much. Taking it step by step. On a different note, yesterday was the first time talking to a TMS specialist, Georgina Oldfield, and it was very beneficial. She confirmed all of my symptoms are stress induced and was such a nice person to talk to I felt really relaxed about it all. She offered interesting insight and opinions, made me realise some things that I never thought off and it felt like she really cared to help which was a refreshment after all the doctors I saw before concluding my last episode was just another TMS. So if you are stuck or not sure if you have TMS, I know it can be financially challenging and not easy to believe all of this at first, but do it for yourself because it does help. My biggest challenge is to learn how to rationalise emotions and she explained some of the ways I try to calm myself when in triggering situations are still ways of repressing emotions. So I need to identify those behaviours and work on it. Among other things.