I have been getting better for the last couple of years with the help of this site and Curable, but recently I’ve had a major setback. My husband has been self-employed for most of our married life and it was always a feast or famine situation for us. But two years ago a local technical college called him and wanted him to come adjunct teach, promising him that they were working on hiring him full time. Because of this my husband had let the business kind of fade away (he didn’t really have time for it anyway because he was teaching a full load of classes even though he was just an adjunct). So back in October he was told, that not only would the school be unable to hire him full time, but that they had to cut his teaching hours drastically because he didn’t have a bachelors. Well, since we’ve let the business go by the wayside, this is going to be a major financial hardship for us. He has been looking for another job since then, but has had no luck. So now we are coming up on the semester where they cut his hours and we have no new customers for the business and my husband has not been able to find a job anywhere else. I’m battling anger at myself for not doing more with a career because maybe if I had we wouldn’t be in as bad a financial bind. I was a theater major in college and of course then could not find a job in my field once I was out. So I have worked a series of clerical jobs ever since, also taking an 8 year break to stay home with our son. I currently only work part-time because of my health and I’m also angry at myself because I don’t feel I could handle a full-time job yet. I’m also battling anger for not being able to get a grip on my emotions about all that is going on. I’ve meditated and written and brain trained and self-soothed till I’m sick of it. I know I’m trying too hard, but I can’t seem to stop. I’m terrified! We are three years from paying off our house and now I’m afraid we could lose it. I worry that we’ll never be able to retire (we’re both 50) because we’ve never been able to save enough. This job with the school would have been our saving grace because not only does it have a 401K, but it also has a pension. This spiral is going faster and faster and I can’t seem to stop it. If you have any tips, please share.