... and got a m****f*** of a flare-up ! Symptom imperative much 
?
I have posted previously on the support forum about my difficulties battling vulvodynia... Well, I started watching and implementing a lot of Dan Buglio's work, plus re-reading my favorite pieces of advice on these forums (thanks Miffybunny, Roguewave, Dorado, Balto and other veterans).
In the past few months, it's like I'm uncovering a new pile of shit every week : how I still talk to myself in a berating way, how I still compare myself with other women and check how "ugly" I am every time I look into a mirror (I know I'm not even ugly to begin with, but it's not like these thoughts are rational, eh ?), how I still use OCD strategies to cope with anxiety (hello dermatillomania !)... Mmmmh, I wonder why I wasn't getting better with vulvodynia ?
Like the title of my post says, I decided to confronted all of this head-on... and now I'm in a 1-week flare-up of low back pain, which was one of my first TMS-symptoms with sciatica and which I got rid of quite easily (book cure, so to speak). Holy crap, I wasn't even afraid of it anymore, but this time it's worse than it's ever been before and it's accompanied by random pains in my hips, upper back, etc. This is definitely not horrible pain that prevents me from sleeping, but I know it hits deep in my mind because I was so proud of having recovered from back pain and becoming another person. In 3-4 years I went from a high-anxiety, nerdy celibate to an outdoorsy climber and hiker in a wonderful relationship. I identify a lot with my outdoor activities, so I guess it's an easy way for my brain to keep me in the fear cycle...
Anyway. As they say, the only way out is through !
?I have posted previously on the support forum about my difficulties battling vulvodynia... Well, I started watching and implementing a lot of Dan Buglio's work, plus re-reading my favorite pieces of advice on these forums (thanks Miffybunny, Roguewave, Dorado, Balto and other veterans).
In the past few months, it's like I'm uncovering a new pile of shit every week : how I still talk to myself in a berating way, how I still compare myself with other women and check how "ugly" I am every time I look into a mirror (I know I'm not even ugly to begin with, but it's not like these thoughts are rational, eh ?), how I still use OCD strategies to cope with anxiety (hello dermatillomania !)... Mmmmh, I wonder why I wasn't getting better with vulvodynia ?
Like the title of my post says, I decided to confronted all of this head-on... and now I'm in a 1-week flare-up of low back pain, which was one of my first TMS-symptoms with sciatica and which I got rid of quite easily (book cure, so to speak). Holy crap, I wasn't even afraid of it anymore, but this time it's worse than it's ever been before and it's accompanied by random pains in my hips, upper back, etc. This is definitely not horrible pain that prevents me from sleeping, but I know it hits deep in my mind because I was so proud of having recovered from back pain and becoming another person. In 3-4 years I went from a high-anxiety, nerdy celibate to an outdoorsy climber and hiker in a wonderful relationship. I identify a lot with my outdoor activities, so I guess it's an easy way for my brain to keep me in the fear cycle...
Anyway. As they say, the only way out is through !
