Well played, TMS!

[Joulegirl]

My son is graduating tonight. I'm kind of glad its going to be over now because there have been celebrations and parties from class/clubs/etc in April and May and I think we are both ready for that to be done. He's looking forward to college now.

I've been worried that I'll have pain for his graduation. That's just something my brain has been stuck on this past couple of weeks as I dealt with my symptoms at various times. And of course I do have pain today. My brain basically foretold it. I'm using this opportunity to not feed my fear of the symptoms and told the pain that it will just have to come along to the graduation ceremony tonight. There is nothing else I can do.

I have a co-worker who son is also graduating tonight. She's been emotional today about it. I have not because I've been dealing with the stupid pain. Another co worker came up to me and told me I was handling this so well compared to my coworker.

Little does she know that I'm not handling well-I'm just hiding my pain well.

This goes to show that there is still a stigma to showing your emotions.

Also, TMS is pretty effective cause I haven't thought about my feelings today once the pain showed up.

Well played TMS, well played...I can't think of a better definition of TMS than what I am experiencing today.

 

[BloodMoon]

This goes to show that there is still a stigma to showing your emotions.

I think this is especially true in Western society. One co-worker is openly emotional, while another is praised for appearing “composed”, even though internally they may be struggling just as much. In effect, people are often "rewarded" for concealing difficult feelings rather than expressing them honestly, even when the emotional response itself is completely natural.

You also see it more broadly in how public displays of emotion are interpreted. Even when someone’s reaction is simply intense or out of character, the response can quickly shift from understanding to judgment or pathologising, rather than recognising it as a normal human moment under stress or excitement.

From a mind-body perspective, there’s also something to be said for reducing how much we worry about what other people think of our emotional responses. That added layer of self-monitoring can amplify stress and make it harder to simply allow feelings to be there without judgement or suppression. That said, it isn’t easy to do in practice, and most of us are still walking a bit of a tightrope between expressing ourselves honestly and managing how we want to be perceived in order to fit in and avoid criticism that can leave us feeling bad about ourselves and/or angry at the criticism.