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Day 5 ups and downs

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by nick, Feb 13, 2017.

  1. nick

    nick New Member

    hi ,

    last week i started with the educational program. monday and tuesday i was in 6/from 10. I did a lot of working on my repressed emotions and the introduction helps me a lot. On wednesday i felt better ... thursday the pain level became very low .. friday, saturday and sunday ( into the afternoon) i was painfree!!
    Maybe sometimes for a short time, but i could make the pain over. it was so nice and i loved my life :)
    What was happening?

    Mo, Thuesday i felt alone, depressed and with a lot of emotions ... i decided to hold on and show my emotions over the next days... i focused on the psychological matters. i m very emotional and there a a lot of feelings in my mind and body. in the last years i didnt feel them ... i only felt pain. it was strange, because all my nervous, anxiety and sorrows i cant feel ... i was stoic, and normally i m not this kind of human. i wasnt scared of anything ... only of the pain ...my whole focus where on the pain and in real life i could do everything without anxiety. i hope you will understand.

    also, wednesday and thursday i got many positive reactions in my work ... i felt better , a little bit proud. when the pain goes i feel so much better! i dont know why but friday, saturday there are no pain ... it was so relaxing. maybe because i have worked with my feelings and the nice words in my work?
    my pain is a jumper ;) right side, left side on the hips, legs, buttocks ... only on one side after sleep and sometimes during the day the pain moves on the other side. when i have panic or another hurt like ( feel sick) then the chronic pain in my back is not there. ok, however.
    sunday i felt a little pain , but i m focused on emotions ... i drive with my car ... the pain wants to start and i spoke about my anxiety, the pain moved away. i was invited to my boyfriends grandmum party. before the others came into the restaurant the pain got worse ... but than he moved away . .. while i was speaking to my boyfriends aunt ...she is on tramal because of her back pain and will take a surgery ... my pain flares up ... ok , i u derstand you pain, i thought and he goes ;)
    the afternoon was ok, but than the pain comes back and i thought no, no, no.... the days where so great! i dont want it! i did my journaling ... to understand what is inside me? today the pain is back. .. im alone today, not at work, free day .. tomorrow i will go to the podiatrist and wednesday my psychtherapie starts... maybe im afraid of this week, and thats why the pain comes back? i will hold on and relax ... at least nothing helps me more than the psychological work on me and i had tried a lot.
    i know that healing is a process... but on weekend i thought, yess i have my life back ... it is only tms and now there are steps back , its hard brrr... but i will learn to manage it ;)
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Nick. You're having good days... Try to keep focused on those. You're early in the program but are already experiencing less pain. Keep believing in TMS and being patient. You're going to win this battle.
  3. nick

    nick New Member

    thank you so much! i m holding on ... today i felt better ... 2 to 10 ...some flare ups ( only a little bit) but i noticed, it starts in stress moments. at work, i feel better ... maybe caues i m distract?

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