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Upper back pain anyone?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by zaria7, May 29, 2020.

  1. zaria7

    zaria7 New Member

    Hi, I haven't posted here for a few years. Happily I resolved some pain I was suffering from in 2016 by taking my focus away from the pain, believing it was TMS and primarily anxiety caused and just getting on with life. It took some weeks to stop, but it did go. That was just one example of a litany of disorders I've had over the years that have been unexplained by the mainstream medical model.

    I'll give you the long version, apologies if this goes on a bit.

    I'm an anxious person, always have been since childhood. My childhood was happy, apart from a completely absent father and the untimely death of my uncle ( only 22) in an accident when I was 5 years old. I grew up living with my mother and grandparents (my uncle was their son and so I had a lot of grief surrounding me for a time). I'm an only child.
    I had severe anorexia as a teen which I recovered from but took some years . In my 20's (40's now) I had a duodenal ulcer that was treated with the usual regimen of protein pump inhibitors, which didn't really help, but it eventually just got better.
    I had unexplained tingling and numbness in my hands and feet for months in 2011 that was never explained, but dissapated after a clean MRI. Had interstitial cystitis for months a year later, which also seemed to just stop some time after a clear bladder ultrasound. I had thoracic back pain which resolved in a couple of weeks about 6 years ago after reading Healing Back Pain. I've also had burning eye symptoms that went on for a couple of months and then just resolved, and some facial pain after a dental treatment that also went away.

    Basically I've had a lot of medical things that have just disappeared without a trace, often after a medical test has ruled out anything serious. It's all clearly been TMS.

    I'm a perfectionist. I'm quite hard on myself and I'm a little obsessive and I suppose I can be a touch controlling. I am people pleaser and bacially I'm a classic TMS'er.

    Now, for the last few weeks I've been suffering from increasing and really debilitating upper back, trapezius area pain. It's sometimes on the right of my spine. Sometimes left. Seems to move about a bit. It goes up my neck to my head at times. Other times feels like burning shoulders. Sometimes is a little further down and feels like the middle of my upper thoracic spine. I can't get comfortable really anywhere, it's sometimes back in bed, sometimes not so painful. It doesn't seem to matter what I do. I have a full range of movement and no restrictions on what I do, but it hurts and it's getting me down. My GP prescribed Naproxen which I haven't taken due to knowing it will do a number on my stomach. Have used Voltarol gel to no avail, done exercises, got my husband to massage the area. No improvement. Arguably worse.

    So.....I feel this is TMS. I've been journaling, watching Dan Buglio's videos and generally just trying to think TMS. No improvement yet, in fact it feels to be worse. Think I'm just looking for some encouragement really.

    Thank you.
     
  2. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    What you are describing sounds like a clear case of TMS. Increase in pain is not uncommon. It is called extinction burst. It is temporary and often follows the first short period of improvement. If you continue with your TMS practice (whatever route you started on), it should eventually go away.
     
  3. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    I have upper back pain which, from your description, is a lot like yours. No movement restrictions, never excruciating, but always uncomfortable. Sometimes very uncomfortable. Right in the middle of the upper thoracic, though more so on the left side of the spine. This used to be my "primary" pain issue and fixation, but for some years now it's been my neck. My fixation on the upper back subsided as I became more anxious about my neck and that took over. I'm sorry I don't have any great recommendations for you, as I'm still struggling and haven't made progress. But letting you know that you are not alone.
     
  4. jula

    jula Peer Supporter

    I have upper back pain (was of course told it’s because of scoliosis) but I have just started the program. I think the location of the pain in the spine doesn’t really matter, I will treat it as TMS. This is not my main symptom so I don’t really obsess about it.
     
  5. zaria7

    zaria7 New Member

    Hi Robert, thanks for replying. It was almost a year ago that I wrote about my pain, and I’m happy to say that I’m entirely free of the upper back pain now. It was TMS. Took about 4 months for it to go. Since then I have had very low back, coccyx pain which I’m still working on, but is 90% better. Again, TMS.
    I find that as soon as I get rid of one thing, that another can pop up. That’s called the symptom imperative, and leads me to believe that whilst I know it’s TMS, that I’ve not quite gotten to the bottom of my emotional causes. I’m assuming it would stop popping up elsewhere if I had completely cracked it, but I can’t quite seem to shake TMS in one form or another. At least the fact that it moves around does reaffirm that it’s TMS and not structural and is emotional and neuroplastic in origin.

    Wishing you well in healing. Loads of resources online.
     
    Aria likes this.
  6. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    How are you now Zaria7? I have had very similar upper back pain for four years now.No mobility issues. Just a dull deep ache around and between shoulder blades and often other sensations, like burning, tightness and stinging. Was yours like that and what did you do to resolve it in the end.
     
  7. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    How is it now Zaria. I have similar upper back pain?
     
  8. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    @fredb, that's the second time you've tried to get this member to respond. Sometimes people move on, for whatever reason, and they are under no obligation to respond.

    Having eleven years of observing others who do this, I have to tell you that seeking reassurance on old posts is an obsessive behavior that your TMS brain wants you to think is useful. It's not.

    Your symptoms are unique to you, and your brain will never allow you to find recovery via this activity, because it will always convince you that the response is just not quite right for you. You need to take control and end it so you can move on to a constructive and proactive activity.

    What are you doing proactively for yourself? By that, I mean a program, and/or therapy with a mindbody practitioner?
     
  9. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Therapy yes Jan, but not a TMS therapist.
    I am currently weaning off duloxetine/cymbalta in US. It is causing me considerable anxiety withdrawal symptoms and if you check out the face book Cymbalta Hurts Worse, you will understand what I am going through at the moment Jan. It is a dreadful drug and if anyone on this forum can advise me on withdrawal without it taking 2to 3 years I would be eternally grateful
    However, thank you for your positive observations. I am sure you are correct.
    Fred.
     
  10. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    @fredb
    One of the biggest, and most sensible pieces of advice many tms books, authors suggest is to stop using Dr.Google and being in chat groups etc that discuss/focus on symptoms, difficulties, lack uplifting success stories etc. personally I’d dump your facebook group. I understand you feel the need for compassion to your suffering, and withdrawl, but seeking it from others who suffer doesn’t help. Part of tms therapy is for you to turn inward and begin to offer yourself that compassion. All of us here have been suffering in our own way snd often our healing is slow and can take months to years and then learning to maintain and practice all we learn is lifelong. The one thing we all have in common is that the more we envision and embody ourselves as whole and well, that we dump doubts and all those things others like doctors have said about any part of our condition, the better we feel on many days. Dr. Hanscom’s book and website touch on dealing with addiction/withdrawl and discuss the self victimizing mindset ( his term for those doubts and being hard on yourself) and increased anxiety - he himself has experienced what you are going through. You might find his words helpful. https://backincontrol.com/ (Home)
    Ps this website focuses on support and success stories!
     
    TG957 and JanAtheCPA like this.
  11. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Excellent response from @Cactusflower, 100% agree.

    @Dorado has written eloquently on the topic of medication withdrawal symptoms and their relationship to TMS multiple times, and I know has those posts bookmarked - and will see this tag and provide them in a day or two.
     
  12. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Thank you cactusflower and Jan. I truly do appreciate your helpful comments and I do know that looking for reassurance on Google is not always wise. However, I also know that withdrawal from this medication I refer to, is causing me symptoms, especially anxiety which is making my upper back pain worse and the recommended discontinuation protocol will if I follow it, take me another two years. I simply cannot mentally accept that situation! I am going slowly now - two more years is just crazy.
    Thanks both of you for trying to help with this. I do appreciate your interest.
    Fred
     
  13. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Oh look, Cactusflower, I figured out how to copy a search result :D
    https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/search/2194272/?q=Cymbalta&o=date&c[node]=26&c[user][0]=5791 (Search Results for Query: Cymbalta | TMS Forum (The Mindbody Syndrome))
    @fredb, use this link, and near the top, change the tab to "Results from our forum only". You'll get all of Dorado's references to Cymbalta withdrawal, timing, and TMS, as well as the harm created by frequenting symptom forums. You will also encounter some of the best overall advice this forum has to offer from someone who's really been there. The search results go directly to the relevant individual posts, so you don't have to plow through an entire thread to see them. Read them all. And no more "Yes, but" responses. Those are a red-flag symptom of obsessive reassurance-seeking.
     
  14. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Thanks for all that Jan. I will look through it now.
    Warm regards
    Fred.
     

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