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Day 8 Update

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Ivanka, Jun 17, 2018.

  1. Ivanka

    Ivanka Peer Supporter

    I took a vacation from SEP, so my day 7 lasted for 3 days :) I would usually feel guity for not doing it right, but I decided to be kind to myself and continue when I'm ready.

    My knee pain has somewhat decreased. I had 2 days when I felt almost no pain at all. After so many years of pain, this is amazing. Still a lot of pain in my shoulders and other parts of my body. But I am not focused on the pain so much anymore. I don't think about it much, it doesn't scare me, I try to ignore it and concentrate on other things.

    The anxiety however is getting even worse. And I am afraid of being afraid/anxious, which then makes me feel anxious... I have no idea how to deal with this. In the past I would go for a run, but for now this is not possible because of the pain. I feel very frustrated about this and wonder if I'm ever gonna get better.

    Still I am determined to continue the SEP!
  2. Rosebud

    Rosebud Peer Supporter

    I'm having a similar experience, except for me it's sadness and rivers of big sad tears. I just let it wash over me. In between the sadness, I'm in a pretty good mood!
  3. Ivanka

    Ivanka Peer Supporter

    Hi Rosebud, I'm happy for you. I believe tears are good.

    I wish I could cry and let it all out. However I noticed that I feel less angry and more sad lately. Sadness is a big issue for me as I was not allowed to feel it/show it as a child. No tears yet, but I remain patient.

    But anxiety is not an emotion if I understand the MBS materials correctly. It's just another symptom. So I hope I can finally get rid of it. It's so exhausting to feel anxious all the time, for so many years.

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