Day 25 Update

Janine28

Janine28

Peer Supporter
Day 25 of the program suggests writing briefly on how I'm doing now and what sort of apprehensions I may have about this treatment or life in general...

I'm doing well. It feels like a dream come true to be walking around, not worrying about how I'm going to get from point A to point B, not calculating my every moment, etc. I feel that I have my life back and that I can look forward to the future- to being able to take walks with my husband and children and to eventually be more active with my kids. Already I'm increasing my activity with the children in ways that enliven me and give me so much hope.

Some apprehensions...
I continue to experience extreme numbness and discomfort in my knee. I try to stay with my emotions, but it's a sort of steady discomfort, and not the type of sharp pains that just 3 weeks ago would incapacitate me. Sometimes I worry about my knee at the physical level, but I continue to return to my emotions as best I can.

Another apprehension is just knowing when it is appropriate to seek medical advice and when it is not. This has been an ongoing struggle for me over the past 25 years. I continue to be shown that the medicalization of my body and health is not usually the best route to take. And yet, clarity only seems to come when I've gotten to the end of my rope. In this case, after 2 years of struggling with my knees and the medical establishment, I'm ever so grateful to learn about TMS and see myself reflected in so much of the writing on TMS and in the experiences of so many in this community.

Janine
 
Hi Janine,

Thanks for the encouraging update.

Janine28 said:
I continue to be shown that the medicalization of my body and health is not usually the best route to take. And yet, clarity only seems to come when I've gotten to the end of my rope. In this case, after 2 years of struggling with my knees and the medical establishment, I'm ever so grateful to learn about TMS and see myself reflected in so much of the writing on TMS and in the experiences of so many in this community.
Click to expand...

I think this experience --no matter where you are in the future, will forever change this old pattern of "medicalization." It is powerful to be able to see the pattern, the thinking arising, and not fully go along with it. You might get caught in the pattern again, but you'll have this TMS understanding and experience to draw on, so I suppose you will not get as stuck, or for as long.

Andy B
 
Hi, Janine.

It's great that you are progressing so well.

Andy is right. You are going to think TMS emotions causing pain from now on. I have always been skeptical of medical tests and resisted taking any medication. I am almost 86 and seldom sick. I can't remember the last cold I had. I got some back pain over two years ago but learned it wasn't structural. The SEProgram led me to realize I had been repressing anger and other emotions since boyhood. In a few weeks, by totally believing in TMS, the pain went away.
 
Janine, Glad to hear u r doing well. I feel the same way...see in progress and feeling encouragement...flare ups here and there but progress. I was reading Ozanich's 'The Great Pain Deception' Las night. He had it bad!!! But recovered. Adds perspective and hope. Hope is the key.
Outcome Dependence as a concept struck me last night as a another step in the process. The way I interpret is if u fully decide u have TMS then u start to ignore the pain...mind loses the impact of that strategy and pain dissapates...it seemed to work today.
Your progress (through your willingness to share) brings hope.
 
Walt, so great to hear about your total embracement of TMS and all the good health that you've experienced. Thank you for continuing to share your story and bring me such encouragement.

Sean, feels like you and I are following similar paths through this process. It's been hard to experience all this pain for the past two years and feel like no one understood. How fortunate we both are to connect with this amazing community! Thanks for reminding me about outcome independence. I'll give that a try too.

Here's to healing and hope!
Janine
 
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