Hey all - I have been trying to work on myself and staying off the computer for a bit. I have had some slight improvements with my head and eye issues and still some anxiety attacks as well. I am in a much better place than I was a few weeks ago. I had my 4th therapy appt tonight. My therapist is using IFS even though he won't label it. I finally had a breakthrough tonight. We covered many topics like always but he asked me what do I do when I start to have a panic attack over my head and eye sensations? I said well i start to freak out. He asked me why, and I said well I just want to get better for my son and wife..back to normal. He said well, lets talk about your son so we did and I started to cry. I always cry when we discuss him, I feel so terrible I am having this acute anxiety and can't spend quality time with him. So he proceeded to ask me if I think its a coincidence that I get anxious whne we discuss my son and how I want to be there for him. So he said you know, no one was there for you as a little boy. Maybe the inner child in your is screaming to come out and show people that you too need someone to rely on emotionally. He asked if I had anyone who I could show the real 'me' to. I answered no, no one. No one knows the real me, I have to put on a face for everyone and be strong, confident..never showing the self conscious, worried, scared person I too can be at times. So thats why I want to be there for my son so he can express himself to a loving father but yet I need someone to be my rock at times and for 36 years I have been my own rock and that repressed child is now screaming it needs some attention. Its all very interesting and I do feel much better tonight. Dr.s have proven that the pain in my head is not from my head or eyes but from the fear inside me. I have to recall this each time I get scared!! I think I have a few areas of TMS to focus on.. 1. Constant worrying my head sensations won't get better nor my anxiety 2. My vulnerable and self conscious part wants to be heard after 36 years but my macho part is in conflict with it..not allowing it to show itself. I am blending with my fear part to keep up the act to the outside world. 3. The macho part is pushing me to heal fast to be normal for my son/wife.