1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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Update and Recommitme

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Jules, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    That should say RECOMMITMENT. :confused:

    Well guys, I am back and am more convinced than ever about TMS.

    The last number of months have been hell and I have gone on this merry go round of doubts about so many things. One, I have been trying to find a job since January and have been on 7 interviews but with no offers. It’s been very frustrating to say the least. For another, there have been health scares with my husband, and with my parents. Also, my grandson was born a month ago, the day after my son‘s 23rd birthday and the triggers of his induction and emergency C-section, and hoping that didn’t happen with my own daughter, which thankfully it didn’t. Then this last week, my dog got a hold of digestive enzyme chews for him, but he got a hold of the whole 90 count bottle and ate it all. That day, he could barely walk and he was throwing up and had diarrhea, I wasn’t sure what was happening. It turned out, that basically he was drunk, because it had an ingredient Brewers yeast, which had fermented in his stomach. Anyway, when dogs get drunk, they just don’t pass it like humans do. So, we had to hospitalize him for the day and he had to have all kinds of meds to get his system back in check, even though the ingredients by themselves weren’t toxic. That day was horrible, and I had the worst panic attack. The following day, I had the worst migraine. Also, it didn’t help that my husband blamed me for keeping the bottle on the table, even though I didn’t think he could get up and get it. To say I was overloaded, is a big understatement.

    Anyway, I was getting to the point where the pain started becoming fixed to one location for weeks and even months, when I ignored TMS - big mistake. It got so bad in my stomach that GERD was with me for weeks on end, making me miserable. I had rarely had the shoulder and arm pain, which was weird, but of course fits TMS perfectly. Just the last few weeks, I started wondering if this was TMS, but wanted a confirmation. So, I had my first endoscope a few days ago, because I thought my hiatal hernia was so big that it was causing major issues. I worked myself into a tizzy, because I focused on it constantly. Well, lo and behold the doctor could not FIND one, or at the very least, it was so small that it was undetectable. Wha?? I was told for 22 years that I had one. I would go to my chiropractor on a monthly basis to pull it down. What the hell was he pulling down then?

    Then, the doctor said I had class a esophagitis, so minor inflammation, which just confused the hell out of me. How can that be, when the burning and tightness is so great. He said, “I think it’s TENSION from stress. DING! The light came back on. Guys, this is 100% confirmation of TMS. The nurse also said, when she was putting in my IV that I had a lot of scar tissue in my arm, most likely due to numerous shots I have had over the years. Another light came on. The only time my scar tissue acts up, or in other words, flares, is when I’m under stress or worried about something. Oh and get this. They did the scope clear down into my bowels and not one piece of scar tissue was found. Of course, they weren’t able to see in the pelvic area, but I do know I have scar tissue there, that’s a fact, however, where I thought I might have some, none.

    So, now that I have confirmed nothing is wrong, except for scar tissue that I can never completely get rid of, just break up, I can focus on TMS 100%. My husband said that he had never seen me so happy and so healthy, (mind and body) as when I was doing TMS work. My husband, the ever skeptical person, said “Honey, you need to go back to TMS.” I was shocked, but gave me a renewed energy and willpower to get back on the bandwagon. Interestingly, when I started thinking it could be TMS, my pain started to move again! ;) Now, one day its my sinuses, the next, my stomach and so forth. My brain is trying its hardest to keep me distracted.

    Okay, now that I am back in the game, I need some advice on where to start. I have done a lot, but want to do what seemed to work last time, with maybe a little twist so my brain really gets the message. Does anyone know of a TMS therapist who does Skype sessions? I did one with an intern for about three months, but I need somebody who is very well trained. If I’m going to lick this once and for all, I need a good therapist!

    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member


    Wow! You have been able to do a 180. I'm so glad you shared this. You are an encouragement to the rest of us. Thank you!

    Jules likes this.
  3. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    Oh Lizzy, I’m so glad. I think I needed to go down this road first though, because it helped me to do my due diligence in making sure there was nothing physically wrong with me, to where now I can confidently believe in TMS without any doubt. We CAN do this!
    healingfromchronicpain and Lizzy like this.
  4. karinabrown

    karinabrown Well known member

    Hi Jules,

    I read your precious posts also and remember the doubt en dissapointment. Which i could and can totally relate.
    Also struglle with new issues keep popping up. In my case i am not so much in doubt that it all comes from stress and my emotion : but this fact to me is not so reassuring. I thought about this a lot lately. Like others here i get freaked out about pain and fearing this is psysical damage: but when it becomes more and more obvious that its from ‘my mind ‘ i am not that relieved sadly. I am more in the loop of : pain is pain. So wheter its psysical or psychological they both frighten me as long i seem not to be able to get fully get rid of it! In terms of tms this is my issue. Read a lot of people here saying : i know now its ‘just ‘ my mind
    I never really felt that. The effect it has on my life is the really scary part.

    This is also the problem with : symptom imperative to me. There is no ‘oh its just that ‘when new stuff
    occurs : there is a panic feeling that comes from knowing what pain already has done to my life. I know where it can lead to. This means i am still on the’ game to’ as you call it, or just not able to ever really get to the full 100%
    I get tired of trying i know that

    I was doing pretty good : untill new stressors came and yet i respond to those stressors with pain.
    This is my worry now cause life will never be without stressors so my coping skills seems to be still wired this way
    Like you i am wondering : is there a missing piece of the puzzle, am i doing it wrong , missing the point? etc
    On the other hand all this reading and learning and the progress i made at some point must have been ‘something ‘

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