Unsure about journaling

[sleepyjay]

Hey all,
So i had a thought while journaling today, maybe one of you has an answer for me.

So the point of journaling is feeling your emotions, but i just write down whatever comes to mind, which mostly isn't even an emotion. And even when a feeling pops up i don't really have that much to write about it before moving on.
I have the feeling that this isn't really the point of journaling since i don't really go deep into the emotion and write about it.

Now my question: do you think i should go about this a different way or is this just my perfectionism and TMS-brain trying to prevent me from doing the work?

 

[Cactusflower]

Hi @sleepyjay
Here is an excerpt from my tms journey website that I find helpful to think about for journalling. It uses Nicole Sach’s Journalspeak model.
She mentions on her website that this process takes time. Our minds can resist, and many days nothing much comes up. Don’t sweat those days. Just making this a daily habit is part of the process.
I like how Dani explains the subtlety of feeling emotions, and that they pass through us quickly.
https://mytmsjourney.com/resources/how-to-feel-your-feelings-physically-and-why-it-matters-in-tms-recovery/ (How to FEEL your feelings physically, and why it matters in TMS recovery)

 

[sleepyjay]

Hi Cactusflower!
Funny that you link me to your blogpost, since that was actually where i came from before posting this thread!
You (and she) write that you should meditate on one specific situation, but the thing for me is that i jump from thought to thought which feels like i don't really feel the emotions since i don't linger in one specific aspect of the situation, even if i stay on topic

 

[Cactusflower]

Hi Jay:
That’s learning meditation.
Your mind floats off on a tangent, you gently bring it back .. then off it goes again, sometimes running.
Do you meditate? My mind does this with meditation too.
This is resistance; fear.
Your mind is on to the fact you are doing some digging.
This is why many coaches suggest you meditate on safety and self-compassion afterwards.
Recently I also saw Dr. Schecter recommend keeping paper by your desk. Twice a day quickly jot down your emotions in 2-3 sentences. He said this can help his resistant clients. It might help you open some doors.
Remember emotions usually pass in less than 2 minutes.
All you can do is give it a try.
No pressure!

 

[sleepyjay]

Oh wow, i didn't realize that this is also a way of resistance. But it makes a lot of sense since i noticed quite a bit of resistance concerning the TMS-work. So thanks for this enlightenment
And yes, i do meditate. Since 4 years now actually and in the beginning i struggled with it terribly, couldn't even do it for a minute since it stressed me out so bad. But i've gotten better even though i still have bad days.
And the No pressure made me realise that i put myself under pressure... Again can't seem to shake that habit yet.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Thumbs up to everything @Cactusflower says about the process. I became aware of the resistance factor when I was doing the SEP twelve years ago, during one of the list-making exercises. I suddenly became aware that my brain was trying to get me to skip over certain things that came into my head. It was literally saying things like "Oh, no, you don't need to write THAT down - it's really not important, and it's embarrassing, so let's just skip that and go on to something else that's more significant".

Seriously. This is quite literally what it was doing, very clearly. I decided to fight back and write the things down anyway, which was shockingly hard to do! It was full-on resistance.

The funny thing is that none of these things turned out to be earth-shattering or horrifying at all. They were just childhood incidents that left me feeling guilty or ashamed, which my childish brain had repressed in the belief that those emotions were dangerous to my well-being. When I examined them without judgement, it felt like a release, along with some revelations about my adult responses and behavior.

All that being said, I can only guess that the resistance factor is significantly stronger, and much harder to overcome, for someone who actually suffered any form of childhood adversity, which I did not.