Day 10 unsent letter - current stressor

So I wrote my unsent letter and I got out a lot of information and am beginning to realize a trigger for my stress. My question/concern is how do I stop doing what I'm doing? The result of stopping is a fear/concern that causes me more stress. It feels like a vicious cycle and although I know what the right thing to do is, I can't seem to get the courage to allow it to happen.

Thanks.

 

good question, I cant wait to know either.
so im going to have to write an unsent letter in 8 days or so...interesting.
good luck, smile it will be ok

 

That is the second unsent letter. The first comes on Day 8.
thanks for the email.

 

Christine, can you explain what you mean by you can't stop doing what you're doing?
Is it mental, emotional, dealing with anger, etc., or physical activity?

If you wonder if you will hurt yourself by doing anything physical like walking, standing bending,
I want to tell you about the woman I saw today who was working one of the check-out stations at a supermarket.
She looked heavy-set and about 60 years old. She was doing the checking-out while standing, bu supported by a walker.
I told her how courageous that is, and she smiled and said she was working despite needing a walker because
she has a dog and wants to work so she can feed and keep it. I thought that was wonderful.
I sometimes use a cane to get around the house or when shopping. I can't imagine having the courage to
work a job with a walker, but people do, and work from a wheelchair, too! I have it easy, I realized.

 

It's totally emotional. I have identified one of my triggers. it is being concerned what others think, so I keep my feelings/thoughts to myself. outwardly I know this is dumb and really not the person that I am but yet sometimes I just keep quiet.

 

Sometimes, with some people, it's best not to tell them what's on your mind or in your heart, if you know they're not going to
be understanding or supportive.

 

yes, I need to make keeping quiet and OK solution in my own mind.

 

I am so concerned about what others think of me and never being good enough. The ole fear of rejection lifts it's ugly head. But now I know it. I can manage it. Christine, participating in this program will continue to build your awareness of your thoughts and personality traits. You will be given tools as you go along on how to manage them.

One of things I learned is I have no patience particularly with myself. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. I feel the physical stress, cramping in my abdomen as I try to learn how to use my smartphone. I now know I do this to myself and can mange this internal pressure I put on myself.

I just never let up on me. My standards are so high. I can't even reach them. Awareness is a great step forward.

You will make great progress.

 

Thanks.