Unmissable interview with Rita aka miffybunny regarding TMS and her recovery from CRPS

I came across this fantastic video on Helmut's mind/body recovery YouTube channel:

 

For ease of reference, I typed out the following from the above video (which is quite long):

The quotation that Rita read out from Dr Claire Weekes to encourage people who have improved and then have set backs is as follows:

"For recovery the sufferer must have deep within himself/herself a special voice that says during any setback or dark moment "it's all right, you've been here before, you know it works, you know the way out, you can do it again, it works and you know it does". That voice speaks with authority and brings comfort only when it has been earned by the sufferer himself/herself and it can be earned only by making the symptoms and experiences that torture no longer matter. No longer mattering is key. It is not a question of some method of treatment spiriting misery away, anaesthetizing it. It is a question of the symptoms, the experiences no longer mattering." - Dr Claire Weekes

Also mentioned in the video:

"Nothing inhibits feeling like thinking" - Carl Jung

"Indifference to the symptoms really is the silver bullet'" - Rita

'From Paralysis to Fatigue: A History of Psychosomatic Illness in the Modern Era' by Edward Shorter

 

There are loads of "Rita Nuggets" in this interview!

 

This is a great thread! I love these Claire Weekes quotes!

I’ve been discouraged (again), of late. It feels like I’m getting nowhere. Sometimes, even worse than nowhere. Going backwards. But today I thought of this. (It’s kind of revolutionary for me to realize this!) I have healed from TMS SEVEN times. Yep. I counted. Maybe more. Each time, it was basically done by ignoring the symptom. And that’s mainly because I don’t like and don’t trust doctors. I didn’t know about Sarno at the time. My worst TMS flare was severe panic and anxiety, and that was cured with mindful meditation and a soothing lifestyle.

So here I am in a new absolute hurricane of symptoms for the past 3 years. But I acquired them during a hurricane (the pandemic), which coincided with about 5 difficult life events. My rage bucket overflowed. I’m mad that it’s so bad I can’t seem to ignore it. My usual MO isn’t working.

BUT—-maybe, just maybe—I could train myself to do that?! On a few rare days since I joined this forum, I have just relished in life. Let it come. Lived it as is. In the present. In pain. But happy. That is the door I need to keep shooting for. I keep forgetting that!!!! Wow. It’s hard.

I’ve done it before! It works! Even though this is really bad. I’m older. It’s WAY more symptoms. The general cure should still apply. I have personal proof it works.

 

She's wonderful. But listening to this has kind of reactivated my PTSD by reminding me of the horrors I endured in my quest to rid myself of my symptoms. And all the money I spent along the way. She mentions how those of us with TMS are actually overly good at coping. It's amazing what we endure, and to survive it all and finally make it to recovery reminds me how blessed I am.

Thank you Dr. Sarno.

 

Oh, dear, I'm so sorry about that, @Ellen. Perhaps I should have thought to have given a warning that it's quite graphic about her journey to recovery, but then quite a lot of things on the forums are that way I find. I've recently had to take a break from reading any long-winded tales of symptoms and trauma as I was finding it kind of triggering and more than that, very wearing, whereas with Rita's video, I found it so encouraging that she's fully recovered, despite all that she went through. I do hope that you will be okay.

 

I really think it's been good to be reminded of all the pain and suffering that TMS and the medical and alternative health care system consists of. I've gotten a little detached from it over the years since recovery. I think being reminded of it will help me become more effective in supporting others on their recovery journey. I really had put it out of my mind, I guess, as a self-protective mechanism. Yes, her recovery story is very encouraging.

 

As a supplement to her video (above) I just thought I'd just add what miffybunny wrote about her journey to recovery; this information was in a huge thread 40 pages long with many people contributing, so the original is not easily found.

"I'll try to provide an overview of the nitty gritty mechanics, if you will, but keep in mind that we have individual minds and everyone's journey will look a bit different. There was a lot of trial and error, and it wasn't a linear process at all....quite zig zaggy and a bit of a roller coaster ride at times. I persisted on this path, however, because I KNEW with every fiber of my being I was going in the right direction. I didn't have a road map but I knew which roads would take me where I did not want to go, so I avoided those pitfalls. I'll try to list here my action steps that became part of my new way of life. As you rightly point out, it was extremely banal and tedious most of the time, punctuated with occasional epiphanies and a - ha moments. Life is an endless journey and TMS recovery is part of that journey. I've shared in many posts on the wiki, the areas that I needed to address (as does everyone) but I'll try to provide more detailed examples in no particular order:

1.) After I had absorbed the education piece (read the books etc.), I just needed confirmation from an MD that my CRPS was still brain based (TMS). Dr. Schubiner confirmed it for me in a one minute call and I knew I had to do the work but I was also thrilled to do so! I was where I was....bedridden, debilitated and suicidal. You've got to start somewhere though!! I had therapy once a week with a TMS therapist. This helped me to identify the emotions I was repressing, over arching emotional themes throughout my life, and my core narrative (the story I had about myself). I had to become really honest with myself and face those ugly emotions. I learned that it didn't make me a bad person to have them or feel them. By acknowledging them and feeling them, they could get discharged and didn't need to keep taking those somatic pathways in the body as a means of expression. On a day to day basis, I would check in with my emotions (especially when symptoms were flaring because I knew they were messengers to pay attention to my inner world). I learned to set boundaries and assert myself more. I started thinking about how I really wanted to live because up until that point my life had been one of self betrayal, which turned into feeling "trapped". So I started exploring those themes. I did not journal or meditate, but I simply became more self aware.

2.) On a daily basis I became very aware and cognizant of my thoughts and behaviors (what Dr. Schubiner calls pain reprocessing). I pulled the curtain back to see what my brain was doing and I started catching myself in these negative thought patterns that were so ingrained and automatic. This took practice and effort. I would reach for better feeling thoughts but most of all more accurate thoughts. I started talking back to that inner critic voice that was endlessly trying to bring me down. It was tedious and annoying. I had to do it a thousand times a day probably. Then the behavioral part... I lived as normally as I possibly could, given my limitations, and acted "as if" I was fine, because the truth was, I was fine!!! I never spoke about my symptoms or complained about them. I took satisfaction in every little thing I did...no matter how trivial (going from bedridden to getting around in the house, doing a bit of housework...no matter how trivial). I kept challenging my fears and tolerating them by engaging in life....the banality of life. I found small ways of making myself feel more safe and calm. I used a lot of affirmations and mantras (most I made them up...like "F it", "it's just TMS', "It's just your brain", "you can't hurt yourself", "patience and persistence", "Shift focus"" you don't fool me TMS" etc. I also kept an "Evidence Sheet" where I compiled evidence for why this was just TMS and proof I was making progress. I would refer to it often especially when doubt or fear would creep in.

3.) Doubt is an insidious thing, so even though I had unwavering belief in TMS, I had many doubts about my own abilities. I wondered if I was too far gone. I had no examples of others with CRPS who got better at the time. Doubt was pervasive in my life so I had to get really specific and look at those areas of doubt and challenge those. I made the decision that if I had to be the first person to overcome CRPS than I would, and I would help others, This motivated me tremendously. I watched and read tons of success stories and testimonials in various places. I figured if other humans could do it so could I. I was not separate from the human race. I avoided support groups and the medical mill like the plague. I wasn't going to buy into my false beliefs anymore. This also ties into our false beliefs. By dismantling false beliefs and seeing my situation more accurately, my thought habits changed. When my thought habits changed to more allowing and open ones, I generated less stress and tension in the body.

4.). I took full responsibility. I created this pain and so I would uncreate it. No one was coming to save me and I was ok with that. It actually felt empowering. The pain and sensations were harmless and I no longer gave them respect or import.

5.). I practiced Outcome Independence like it was my religion lol. My life would no longer be controlled by symptoms. I did not use symptoms as my guideline. I measured and judged my days by how little the symptoms affected me. Success hinged on indifference to symptoms. I disarmed and neutralized triggers by doing everything I was scared of (very gradually with no pressure ...graded exposure). If all I did in a day was make my kids school lunches, then that was fine ( I had been bedridden for weeks so you have to start somewhere!)

6.). I stopped regretting the past and projecting into the future. I learned in therapy that, that was self abuse. They were really bad habits I had. I stopped treating myself like crap and just did my best, whatever that looked like.

7.) I looked for ways to have more fun and relaxation in my life, even if they were silly things like watching a movie or calling a friend or going to Sephora. That helped counteract the fight or flight/freeze response that had become my default state of being.

8.) I decided that my body was symbolically telling me "you can't go another step". (the pain was worst in my feet and knees...not a coincidence!) so I knew I had to make drastic practical changes. I didn't want to make my life a monument to my son's autism or stay in a lackluster marriage. I reached new levels of acceptance of myself and others (like my younger son) and didn't resist what "was". I accepted. I got help because I could not go on mentally or physically the way I had been going for over a decade any longer. I went through a divorce which was scary and stressful and drawn out, but I was at peace because I was finally being true to myself. I live much more in alignment with my own needs and values now. That has resulted in less inner conflict and cognitive dissonance and repression. I lost a ton financially, but I gained things that money can't buy....peace, love, joy, connection, meaning.

9.) In a nutshell I tried to re engage with life as normally s possible...accepting the good, the bad and the ugly and being really ok with who I am. No routines or prescriptive steps. I just lived my life but with a new state of mind and intention.

On a side note, there were MANY "setbacks" and times I would get discouraged and demoralized. I had to go through it and learned to view setback as opportunities to practice. It's simple but not easy!!"

 

Thank you for this, @BloodMoon. Extremely helpful!

 

@BloodMoon This is wonderful! Thanks for posting.

 

I wanted to give a follow up to my July 3 post filled with discouragement. Just 10 days later, I’m filled with peace, hope and happiness. My symptoms are ever so slightly less. But greatly less to me, because I don’t care. I think what did it was I stopped caring (as much) about what my husband thinks about all this. He’s sad, discouraged, heart-broken that I’m not well. He has a lot more work now that I’m somewhat debilitated. He is suffering, and I’m so tuned in as a people pleaser. I’m detaching my feelings from his. This is a monumental achievement, and one that my TMS is requiring for me to heal. I’ve also detached from other people through this process. I’m speaking up for what I want and need for the first time. And I’m just trying to have a mega positive internal world. I’m being nice to me! And guess what: I’m healing! I am awaking every day believing that I can do anything.