I started this SEP almost 3 years ago and started journaling. But then instead of finishing the SEP I worked through schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain workbook. I never really got the aha moment. Today I went back and read my journals for the last 3 years to see what I was thinking about and feeling. And I found that I was going through a lot. I also narrowed down to within a few months when this back pain started and it was actually 4 years ago. I have a much better understanding of what is happening now. I also have belief that this is truly TMS and I know I can get better. It's hard work but it's going to be worth it. It can also be painful work. In the middle of the night Tuesday night I woke up with stabbing pain in my usual spot. I couldn't move but I did my best to ignore it and laugh at it and went to work anyway a couple hours late. I was better today. Even good enough to vacuum the house. I ignored the pain and there was one brief moment when I think I may have actually made the sciatica pain stop. Yeah me!