Day 10 Undercovering issues and finding my life purpose?

[Actualisation]

I am beginning to notice patterns in my psychology and my pain. Certain thoughts definitely trigger my pain and I’m assuming if I improve myself in certain ways that my pain could eventually disappear completely. In particular, I’ve really noticed how anxious I can be and realised how socially anxious I’ve been for many years and realise that I don’t have any friends at all and the only person outside of work whom I talk to is my girlfriend. I’ve always felt unworthy and pushed people out my my life due to anxiety that socialising has created and I’ve always kind known on same level but always denied it due to fear. I’m currently reading a highly commended book in the area and already am feeling great progress and feeling less anxious socially. Perhaps if I continue on this path and defeat my social anxiety than my pain will also disappear?

I’ve also nearly decided that I want to dedicate my life to mind-body related chronic pain and continue my training in psychology to completing a doctoral degree in this area and eventually treating patients, researching and writing material on the subject. I have no idea how viable this is but I’m starting to believe that my current training in psychology and chronic pain have been a way to get me on this path to positively influence the world. I’d also like to be able to offer a certain number of sessions for extremely low/no cost to individuals who cannot afford treatment but would benefit from it – so that people in my current situation (unable to afford it) are able to get treatment. I’ve been long looking for a reason why I’m on this planet and wanted something to focus on which is extremely meaningful and which I can single handily focus on and truly master rather than being a cog in a mindless corporation. I guess I first need to get rid of my own pain first.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate any feedback (especially constructive feedback!)

I am extremely grateful for this programme and community so far. Thank you very much J

-Actualisation

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Those are awesome goals, A! Worthy of the great Dr. Maslow himself

You're correct that you need to heal yourself first. I liked what Adrianna Huffington said in her Mindfulness Summit presentation the other day - that taking care of yourself first is like the airplane instructions to put on your own oxygen mask before helping your children or others.

Taking care of yourself means self-compassion as well as healing, so be gentle with yourself, and don't fall into the goodist and perfectionist trap of trying too hard too fast

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Actualisation. I think your goal to become a MindBody therapist is wonderful. Keep focused on that, getting the degrees necessary, and it will bring you to healing yourself. But don't pressure yourself too much. As Jan says, don't become a perfectonist or goodist person. Just do your best to achieve your goal and don't rush it.

I left the corporate world forty years ago because it bored me and did not seem to be fulfilling. I became a freelance writer of books, not becoming rich but feeling it gave my life a purpose. I write a lot for teenagers and preteens and have gotten some wonderful letters from them saying some of my books
helped them to like reading. One teacher emailed me a few weeks ago that my preteen novels were her favorites, then her children's favorites.

You can do a lot of good with your life by becoming a MindBody therapist.

You might like to read my book on TMS which I co-authored with another TMS forum member, Eric Watson:
GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE IN PAIN. It adds prayer, the spiritual element.

Good luck with the SEProgram and keep us posted on your progress.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Perhaps if I continue on this path and defeat my social anxiety than my pain will also disappear?

Hi Actualisation,

I think that this part is not necessarily true. You are now connecting your life history and the way you feel about your relationships, moment-to-moment to your pain. This is the heart of the matter.

Trying to make ourselves different may be another "perfectionist" trap that is easy to fall into, in order to stop symptoms. Your life will change with awareness and time, and self-attunement---for the better. And, in a parallel process, somewhat independently, you are treating your symptoms with awareness of the true causes.

When we see the psychological pain we're in, and that this may be related to pain, we want to change this. My point is that it is the awareness that does most of the work, rather than the changing. At the same time, change will likely occur, more on its own.

Andy B.