Hi all, In my TMS journey I have finally uncovered some things that happened to me as a child. You could say they were sexual abuse, but I find that so hard to write. I have thought about it once or twice over the years but have always played it down in my head and told myself it isn't that big a deal. Now I am thinking about it, if it were a friend telling me this I would be horrified. I struggle to connect the dots for myself though. I guess I don't want to admit it. I feel so scared. I can't talk to my husband about it which is my normal instinct, as the person is a family member and I don't want my husband to think differently about him. I almost need to tell someone to see whether it is a big deal or not. I feel sick and disgusted about it so I guess it is. I have tried journalling on it and it is getting easier, but I am still finding it so hard to write the words down. I can't afford counselling as I am not earning yet after having a baby. I am not a fan of the idea either. After years of repressing everything I am scared to do therapy. I know that says a lot about the need for it, but even if I wanted to I couldn't afford it. Since I unearthed this my pain has got worse, and so I know I need to work it out for the sake of my pain. But what do I do? I don't know how to move on with this. Please help. Thank you.