Two Questions...

We're on day 6 of the tour and I'm actually feeling pretty good. Normally I have some sort of plan/goal on tour to keep the pain at bay- tai chi, yoga, 15 minute walks, push ups, the Alexander Technique etc. Things that I'm learning would just reinforce the pain, so I've completely abandoned them and am focusing on connecting with my emotions, journaling and being easy with myself. I've practiced at least an hour the last 3 days, which has been impossible without pain for the last 2 years. It has been so great not being as tight as a spring that my natural habit is to instantly start worrying about the pain coming back, but I recognize this as another manifestation of the inner bully and TMS. I do have a coulple questions though-
1) Should I be warming up, stretching or trying to exercise? I am playing drums for 1-3 hours a night, not counting any practice time I put in (usually on a pad or my Knee vs. on an actual drumset). Along with that I'm spending 4-9 hours in a van on gig days. I feel like I associate these things with ways to prevent pain and therefore might just act to reinforce it instead. But, common sense tells me that bodies need some sort of movement besides hitting things with sticks.
2) Is it possible to use practicing as a way to repress emotions? My TMS manifested as physical pain at a time when I quit drinking and was practicing every day for at least an hour, but often for 6-7 hours a day. It was like I was possessed. The last 3 days of practicing have felt very similar. Almost like it's a distraction from the anxiety. I love it because I get so much better at my instrument, which is inspiring and rejuvenating in many ways. But, it can also become a pressure thing where I feel like I need to practice every day in order to be good. I also don't want to bite off more than I can chew before I'm ready. Thoughts?

 

Bambam- you are really asking the right kinds of questions, in that I can see you are taking this very seriously and trying to do the right thing. To me, that's 90% of the battle.

As far as your questions go, I'm not sure I have the perfect answers. But it seems very reasonable to me that you would warm up and and maybe stretch a bit before 3 hours of drumming. Stretching before and during a 9-hour van ride seems pretty darn reasonable too. Maybe if you talk to your brain and say "I'm doing this for my cardio-vascular and muscle health and it has absolutely nothing to do with pain".

IMO, I wouldn't worry much about repressing your emotions while practicing. Maybe instead focus on the emotions you do notice while practicing and write them down. And be proud that the practice is improving your playing so much!

I found I had a ton emotions associated with playing music. Everything from guilt, to feelings of inadequacy, to you name it.

 

Hey BamBam, this is sounding really good! I can't add much to what the good Cap'n has said - it's all great advice.

Don't worry about it too much, let go of the need to do it perfectly (you can leave that to your drumming) and if you find that something isn't working or doesn't feel right, it's not the end of the world - you can change it!

There are many ways to do this work, and you, as a unique individual, will figure out what works for you.

 

BamBam, Some physical exercise is important both for body and mind, so I suggest you do some, but start easy.

I do some sitting and standing exercises for seniors that are on Youtube. You could try some and ease into more strenuous stuff.