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Trying too hard!

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Marla, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. Marla

    Marla Peer Supporter

    After I posted last time in Walt's thread about Christmas saying after I rested a few days mid back pain went away, shoulder pain came on with a vengeance.

    I knew it was TMS so I tried to ignore it, read in a new pain book I learned from here, got angry, tried not to get angry, rested, went to gym, stayed home, went out, took baths, ice, heat, Valium, Advil, nothing, wine, ate too much, watched tv, movies, read fun books, etc.,,,

    You get the idea the distraction of it is obviously working wonderfully since it is driving me crazy for past week and half.

    I came here today and read in one thread about letting the fear go. I laughed because I realized I had yet fallen into the trap of anxious thoughts even though I thought I was trying to ignore my pain and press on to regular life.

    I had a lot of reasons for stress this past month working retail, dealing with stressed out boss and customers and work mates, my husbands guilt (he is fully retired now this was first winter and was too worried about me) the normal feelings about kids who all live out of state and the closest one going through messy divorce, thinking about when work slows down I have to deal with the real issue I have been avoiding...selling our house this spring and all the work to get it ready.

    Just thinking about the house thing feels me with dread and tension...so no wonder TMS came calling to give me something to think about besides that.

    In the book I am reading The Hidden psychology of Pain I read sometimes if you are in the middle of a unresolved issue the pain won't go away until it gets resolved. I find myself wondering if that means I will have bouts of pain until after we move.
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Marla,
    I don't think Dr. Sarno says the big issues have to be resolved. To me, he says that you have to make the connection between stressful events and the pressures you feel to the pain symptoms.

    It seems to me you have done this, but are still worried that more needs to happen before the pain resolves. I see you are dreading the future. And maybe fearful that the symptoms won't go away.

    It might be good to read some of Sarno on this, to re-assure yourself that you don't have to "improve" your stress levels in order to have the pain stop. I recall this specifically in Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno when he speaks to a "harried house wife" who asks him how can her pain stop without changing her life to one of less stress.

    I hope this helps!
    Ellen likes this.
  3. Marla

    Marla Peer Supporter

    Thanks. I have that book on my shelf, will reread.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    You are welcome!
  5. yb44

    yb44 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Trying too hard and being hard on yourself from the sounds of it. I'm not sure I would say selling the house is the real issue as much as it's one of the many you listed. I've got something like that happening this year too along with the other usual suspects (family, job, etc). If I think about it all at once, I can't breathe. So I stop and breathe. If I catch myself catastophising, I notice this right away and focus on something that gets me away from the fear and obsessive thoughts. It's pretty constant though so I appreciate that it's not easy.
    mike2014, Ellen and Boston Redsox like this.

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