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Trying to break the cycle

Discussion in 'Alan Gordon TMS Recovery Program' started by nowtimecoach, Mar 2, 2014.

  1. nowtimecoach

    nowtimecoach Well known member

    I feel like I've slid backwards into old thinking about having pain so I came back into the forum to get my thinking back on track. I've been discouraged because I've had so much pain in the last week. I've had my share of stressors (papers due, dinner party.) But I noticed my attitude falling into a defeatist one. So I just read the sentence "I refuse to let my mood, self-perception, my feelings about the future be determinded by how much pain I am in."
    I thought about Walt telling us to laugh it off - about Eric saying to be gentleā€¦ yet - when the pain is stinging, I have a hard time getting to that place, then feel like a failure because I"m letting TMS win. Arghghgh!! Any suggestions my fellow recovered TMS'ers?!!:wtf:
    Balsa11 likes this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, nowtimecoach.
    You're not alone, you know that. On the road to healing, we get setbacks.
    Our unconscious mind sometimes just needs to be convinced again that our pain is from repressed emotions.

    I dreaded the weather forecast last night that we in the Chicago area would be getting another 6 inches of snow,
    on top the mountains of snow still all around my suburban house.

    I dreamed not to snow but of being in a spring garden full of daffodils and crocuses and other spring flowers.

    My driveway and walks were covered with 6 inches of snow and the neighbor who has helped me in the past
    is out of town, so I decided I would clear it all myself with my snowblower. I blocked out fear of falling or
    having a heart attack (I'm almost 84) and while I cleared away the snow I thought about the spring garden
    and also laughed. I did the job and got through it without a problem and felt no back trouble.
    My mind was so occupied with the snow-clearing, I didn't feel anything.

    Change your mood. Find something to relax you and it will help drive away the pain.

    You're not a failure in your TMS progress. Dr. Sarno says it takes time and we shouldn't rush it
    or worry we're not healing fast enough.

    Have a great day!
    Balsa11 and nowtimecoach like this.
  3. Mermaid

    Mermaid Well known member

    I've done this many times. The way I handled it was to prepare myself better before it happened. When I foresaw the potential for a flare up I would start positive self talk and visualization specific to what was going to happen. For example if I had an important business meeting coming up, I would prepare for it emotionally, by affirming along the lines "I am calm, relaxed and in control, I have nothing to fear. I am good at my job and well experienced." If I was going on a trip I would imagine myself having a great time and feeling really well. I would do this repeatedly until the ideas stuck.

    If I "failed" and had a flare up, I just put it down to experience and let it run it's course, fighting made it worse.

    Please don't give yourself a hard time about it, that's only going to create more tension, which is what you want to avoid. Treat yourself with loving compassion, you are doing your best.
    Balsa11, nowtimecoach and Ellen like this.
  4. nowtimecoach

    nowtimecoach Well known member

    Thanks so much Walt. I lived in Chicago for 2 years and the weather about killed me. And I was young then!! I love your attitude and aspire to get there someday. I think I'm getting hung up on figuring out the repressed emotions and creating more pressure. I think the operative word for me is RELAX!
    Stay warm and cozy my friend!
  5. nowtimecoach

    nowtimecoach Well known member

    Thank you for your response mermaid! I have a tendency to get stuck in the cycle of fighting the pain and then giving myself a hard time about it, and like you said, creating more tension. The longer I'm in this process, the more I understand my need to learn how to relax. I've written the words down on a piece of paper that I will carry with me all day today. "I am calm, relaxed and in control. I have nothing to fear."
    Mermaid likes this.
  6. Infograbber

    Infograbber Newcomer

    Mine is a little different than yours because I have ptsd, anxiety and have recently been having new found panic attack where I literally feel like Im going to die but watching and learning that it could be cause by my own thinking is one very overwhelming because I can just be waking up and it happens so I'm stumped on how I can think my way into that but I would suggest doing what they say and legitimately do something that makes our mind focus on something other than pain (easier said than done I know) but maybe after taking this course and if needed taking it two or three times we can over come this. I pray and hope I don't offend you with that but I do pray we can overcome this mental abuse we put ourselves in.

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