Trouble identifying traits.

[Layne]

I am having a great deal of difficulty in identifying how my personality traits manifest TMS, and thus, journaling about them. I know that I am a perfectionist, legalist, etc... (they all apply to me) but I can't seem to see where they come up. I'm actually getting really angry about it and I feel like it could be a form of resistance, but I don't know how to get around it.

Whenever I try to journal about a trait I have to go back and refer to the Wiki to see which behaviors I actually engage in, but even when I do that I can't seem to get anything out about how they show up in my daily life.

Would it be acceptable to try alternative journaling techniques than put forth by the SEP on particular days? Ie; the spider technique in lieu of free-form?

 

[gailnyc]

Layne, I often do something different than what the SEP suggests. Sometimes if it says "write about a current stress" but I've been thinking about my dad, I write about my dad because that's what I need. I don't see why that wouldn't be ok.

If you're a perfectionist, can you write about a specific time when you demanded perfection of yourself?

 

[Leslie]

Layne, I have a lot of difficulty with the personality trait journaling. I found spider writing about the trait to be far more productive for me than the other forms of journaling for the traits. I also found myself doing more thinking than writing which seemed to defeat the purpose of the spider write. So far what I've found most effective is to write the trait in the middle of the page with it's 4 legs. Once I've got that core picture I put the pen down, turn the voice recorder on and say whatever comes into my head while looking at that page for a set period of time. Trying to capture the first thought into my head and trying to write it down was defeating the actual purpose of the exercise for me. Once I'm done recording I go back and listen to it as many times as needed to get it all written where it belongs on the paper. The pictures from this have opened my eyes quite a bit. Personally, I would say that whatever works best for you would be acceptable. There are various styles of learning (I'm sure GailNYC will back me up here). I'm a "seer-doer" for instance. I could hear it or read it every minute of every day and I'll get some of it eventually but, for me to "get it" the quickest I have to see it try it. You just have to use the method that you benefit most from.

 

[Forest]

You can always do something different that the SEP suggests. In terms of journaling this is actually probably a good thing. You know what you need to write about. I do think it is always interesting about what we can and cannot answer. If there is a question in the program that you cannot answer, you may want to ask yourself why that is.

As for the personality, you could try to explore how your personality developed, i.e. why are you a perfectionsist and legalist. What aspects of your past and childhood allowed these traits to develop?

 

[Layne]

Thank you Leslie and Forest! I am going to keep that in mind, Forest.

I am also a seer, doer. For example at work, if they let me back in the kitchen to make the pizzas and salads, I would remember the ingredients better than if I just read them from the menu.

 

[Lori]

You can always table the topic where you feel stuck and come back to it. Sometimes re-visiting is helpful and ideas come at a later time. Sometimes even bright ideas!

Remember, anything that comes to mind is worth noting. It comes to mind for a reason! A program I was just listening to said that if it comes to mind, we are ready to deal with it.

 

[Layne]

...if it comes to mind, we are ready to deal with it.

Ooo I like that. It's along the spiritual line of thinking that everything happens in the perfect time and space for the individual. Thank you!