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Alan G. Tried Everything...I'm Desperate

Njoy, maybe you can persuade Forest to add some more emoticons, I think a bottle of Torani Amer Picon could do the trick.
 
So, my question is: HOW to face fear and overcome it. Let's talk method now that we all get it that fear is the enemy. Is there more to it than just "not indulging it"? Let's get into specifics of what works.
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This is a good idea. We know what the problem is, now we can come up with ways to address it. We already know of a few ways from reading what Alan Gordon said. Anybody else want to chime in on whats working for them to combat the fear of pain and preoccupation with it?
 
dabatross said:
Anybody else want to chime in on whats working for them to combat the fear of pain and preoccupation with it?
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It has taken me awhile, but I have come to understand this about feeling negative emotions, whether fear, sadness, grief, shame, or guilt--if you just feel them, they pass. It's the resistance that creates pain and tension. Somehow I must have developed the belief that if I felt my emotions they would get stuck, and I would end up feeling that way forever. But, no, they pass, and they don't harm you. So now when I notice I am feeling fearful (or any other emotion), I just notice how it feels in my body and think about what generated it, and just sit with it for awhile. The trick is in being aware of it in the first place, and not lost in the midst of it. That is where mindfulness comes in. By developing that observer part of your mind that can monitor your internal state, you create a space to choose a new way to be, instead of just letting the old automatic reactions play out. I am choosing more and more often to feel instead of repress--to allow instead of resist.
 
Ellen said:
It has taken me awhile, but I have come to understand this about feeling negative emotions, whether fear, sadness, grief, shame, or guilt--if you just feel them, they pass. It's the resistance that creates pain and tension. Somehow I must have developed the belief that if I felt my emotions they would get stuck, and I would end up feeling that way forever. But, no, they pass, and they don't harm you. So now when I notice I am feeling fearful (or any other emotion), I just notice how it feels in my body and think about what generated it, and just sit with it for awhile. The trick is in being aware of it in the first place, and not lost in the midst of it. That is where mindfulness comes in. By developing that observer part of your mind that can monitor your internal state, you create a space to choose a new way to be, instead of just letting the old automatic reactions play out. I am choosing more and more often to feel instead of repress--to allow instead of resist.
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Yes, when you talk about developing the 'observer' part of your brain I think you are spot on. I have been looking into this metacognition concept and trying to apply it as much as possible...divorcing yourself (whoever that is) from the monkey mind and tangent thought processes really helps. I don't even do this as meditation at this stage...just on a day to day minute by minute basis just coming outside yourself and just observing as a neutral party can be helpful, and somewhat amusing.
 
I've been reading how important it is to feel the symptoms and accept them
instead of repressing or resisting them, and how it helps.

It's also important not to spend much time feeling the symptoms.
The more you think about them, the longer they stay.

It's kind of a catch-22.
 
Sort of opposite ends of the same stick. You either "sit with" (not wallow in!) your emotional state OR observe from outside as a "neutral party". Either way the intensity is relieved. Might even say that emotional part feels heard and can stop hollering for your attention! Very helpful input, all.
 
@Walt Oleksy , very true more time I spend feeling the symptom, more I am overwhelmed by it. I realized and diagnosed with TMS two years ago and after couple of months I could get rid of my chronically disabling wrist pain, burning feet, tingling and numbness for which I was diagnosed with Idiopathic small fiber neuropathy(meaning - we couldn't find what it is). That was very empowering and liberating. But my TMS manifested into increase in my chronic anxiety and caused racing negative thoughts, insomnia, fear and some anger. Which is going on for couple of years. I am a Sarnoian goodist, ambitious, experienced separation from my parents and self esteem issue as child. As a three year old kid I could remember being extreme goodist and very small and skinny little kid I was prone to being bullied, always stayed out of crowd and had my own imaginative world. I didn't feel safe, which I see is imprinted in my sub consious and couldn't grow out of that mindset completely and I am 40 years old now... I am wondering how I can reconcile my past with my current self. Another wierd thing is that I have very very tight guts for the past 20 years that gets worse with stress.
I am reading and listening Alan Gordon's writings and videos. I think I may need some therapy, hypnosis or may be some thing else... I tried positive reinforcing self talk, it helps at that moment and I find myself down, next day. I was considering Ashok Gupta's Amygdala retratining(http://www.guptaprogramme.com/), but some one in this forum mentioned that he doesn't deel with sub-concious mind..Any suggestions?.. directions?.. thanks
 
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Hi Seeker
Just to clarify a comment you made regarding the term - subconcious.
Derek Sapico states - The terms "unconscious" and "subconscious" are used interchangeably in the TMS world but when speaking about emotions that we are consciously unaware of, both terms are referring to the unconscious mind.
Source -http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/unconscious-vs-subconscious-repression-vs-suppression.6511/#post-37731
The brain is way more complicated than we can understand in really simple ways, in general the amygdala is part of the unconscious brain. CFS and ME are forms of TMS which can be healed by Howard Schubiners - unlearn your pain or Ashok Guptas Program.
I hope this helps.
Thanks

Mike
 
Alan Gordon said:
I wouldn't say that neural pathways shut off but they can become dormant, much like how a child who speaks a second language will lose that language if he ceases to be exposed to it.

This relates to the pain because the purpose of the pain is to scare you, and if you stop reinforcing a behavior, the behavior fades (or changes).

I doubt that the pain would go away if you changed jobs. There's a chance that it would move. You might develop back pain if you became a landscape artist and had to carry things, or arm pain if you became a screenwriter, or throat pain if you became an opera singer. It's the nature of the beast.

In all likelihood though the eye pain would stay. Given that it has such a hold on you, it's the most effective source of preoccupation your mind currently has. The pain usually moves only when a different symptom can become a greater source of preoccupation, or the current symptom becomes less of a source of fear.
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Hi I read the post about the burning pain i dont know how long ago this was posted. I also have had all testing done & have constant burning pain throughout most of my entire body upper back, chestwall lower back legs. it;s constant the only relief is lying down. I have ptsd clinical depression Severe emotional Trauma I also tried everything with no relief any support from you may help thanks
 
Hi, Winterhaven. I've tried "everything" for TMS with lots of success but after months or years something new (and sometimes worse) would pop up. My latest was an insane itchy/scratchy/painful "delusional parasitosis" -- delusional meaning hallucinations that bugs were crawling all over me and biting me--boy, did they feel real. My friends (who are mostly nurses and social workers and know I'm neurotic but not insane) were totally convinced the bugs were real. They weren't, as it turns out, thank God.

My latest solution is Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP). Only 12 hours into an expected 20 to 40 hours of therapy, I am SO much better (no bugs, nada) and as I practise what I've learned the improvement in all areas of life is phenomenal.

I needed some really expert help getting past anxiety, defenses against feelings I could NOT handle, relentless superego nitpicking, etc. If you have access to therapy I would highly recommend ISTDP. It works for most people and those who are contacted years later consistently report life just keeps getting better as they continue to apply the skills they've learned. I'm not finished, yet, but so far that's my experience, too.

For those who read this and remember my enthusiasm about Internal Family Systems (IFS), I still use it because it fits beautifully with ISTDP. I'm sure the same is true of whatever works for each of us. You don't lose that just because you find something new.

All the best, Winterhaven, and keep coming back.
 
njoy said:
Hi, Winterhaven. I've tried "everything" for TMS with lots of success but after months or years something new (and sometimes worse) would pop up. My latest was an insane itchy/scratchy/painful "delusional parasitosis" -- delusional meaning hallucinations that bugs were crawling all over me and biting me--boy, did they feel real. My friends (who are mostly nurses and social workers and know I'm neurotic but not insane) were totally convinced the bugs were real. They weren't, as it turns out, thank God.

My latest solution is Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP). Only 12 hours into an expected 20 to 40 hours of therapy, I am SO much better (no bugs, nada) and as I practise what I've learned the improvement in all areas of life is phenomenal.

I needed some really expert help getting past anxiety, defenses against feelings I could NOT handle, relentless superego nitpicking, etc. If you have access to therapy I would highly recommend ISTDP. It works for most people and those who are contacted years later consistently report life just keeps getting better as they continue to apply the skills they've learned. I'm not finished, yet, but so far that's my experience, too.

For those who read this and remember my enthusiasm about Internal Family Systems (IFS), I still use it because it fits beautifully with ISTDP. I'm sure the same is true of whatever works for each of us. You don't lose that just because you find something new.

All the best, Winterhaven, and keep coming back.
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Hi thank you for your reply that's great new's for you. was your (ISTDP) from a private Psychotherapy? I have the severe burning pain issue I can lye down but the intense tension & burning is disabling very much limited. My mind won't allow Me to do anything go anywhere or have any fun the cycle continues over 4 years of Hell. as soon I i lye i am fine. I cant understand it I was fine it all came on at once & i havent yet returned to living
 
Yes, my psychotherapy is private. I don't have any insurance to cover even part of the cost which will be somewhere between $ 4,000 and $ 3,000. Luckily I have the money saved but it was intended for something just as important so it will not be easy to do both. Still, totally worth it. I took the chance. I did a ton of research first and talked to the therapist (only one I could find fairly nearby) enough to decide to take the chance. SO glad I did.

Then, I had to fly to Vancouver, BC (I live in central BC 50 k. from a small town) and stay in a hotel so the initial cost was quite high. Then I found out that this therapist happens to have family she visits in my area! Quite a coincidence. We also do Skype but in person is better.

What is happening to you sure sounds like TMS to me. Your profile says said you were diagnosed with a somatoform disorder. That's just one more name for TMS (there are many).

I noticed in your profile that you live in the US. If you want, I'd be happy to phone you (or send you my phone number, if you'd rather). Forest, Tennis Tom, and others here can vouch that I've been a member of this site for a few years and at tmshelp.org for many more. At one point, I had a weekly call in offering peer support for people who wanted to talk about TMS. Turned out not many people did--too bad because I really enjoyed it! Anyway, let me know if you want to talk. Otherwise, there are many knowledgeable people on this forum who have found solutions and hope you will, too.
 
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dabatross said:
Sorry I asked so many questions. Well I haven't been changing anything and this is either a good thing or a bad thing... the pain is getting worse. I've done like you've said and have stood up to the fear and the pain by not backing down from it. The tension started getting worse about 3 weeks ago and in the last week has gone up even more, but even though it's been high I've still be watching movies and not avoiding close up activities. This would usually be the time where I start investigating a lot and beginning to freak out as to why things have gotten worse but I'm not going to do that today.
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Don't forget to breathe deep in the belly. Sometimes cognitive work is nicely paired with something embodied. Think outside the box and find something fun and watch your attention shift.
 
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