I've had several "Ah-ha!" moments so far and also have been able to really get a grip on the magnitude of some of my biggest issues. In reading about the TMS personality traits, I was shocked to realize how stoic I am. The description fits me to a T. The other trait that fits me very well is legalism. One day I started making a list of all the expectations and demands that I make of myself, and I was blown away. In just a few minutes I had listed about 20 things, and reading them through, they seemed so ridiculous! But I do believe them, and they are the main source of tremendous pressure I put on myself. I'm sure that my unconscious self is really mad about it! I certainly wouldn't make any of those demands on a friend or family member, or even a co-worker. I wouldn't want to watch someone making those demands on someone else. So why do I make them on myself? Learning these things is half the battle, but the much harder half is going to be learning to live differently. I'm not sure how I'm going to do that, as these patterns are so deeply ingrained. I've also gotten a better handle on the magnitude of my problems with my parents. Funny, the parent that was emotional abusive when I was growing up is not one of the parents I have real trouble with now. Now it's my real dad and my mother. I've written "unsent letters" to them both. I need to learn how to relate to them both in a healthier way--another very tall order.