I arrived home from a 2 week tour last night and promptly had a total meltdown this morning. We're talking throwing stuff, breaking dishes, yelling at the top of my lungs and crying. I live with my guitar player, another 33 year old professional musician, a 22 year old girl, my guitar player's mom, 5 cats and 2 dogs. On top of that, there are the random party kids that come over at 2am and sleep on the couch or floor. I absolutely HATE it here. It's obviously a big source of anger for me. In fact, my TMS pain didn't start until about 6 months after moving in here. It's cluttered, disorganized and full of pet hair. It reminds me of the house I grew up in, which I also hated. On top of that, my car, computer and phone all need to be repaired or replaced. I hate it here. I can't accomplish anything because nothing works. I can't leave because my car might not make it as far as I need to go. I had to walk to the store to pay way too much for a iPhone charger just to make this post because my phone is old and didn't like any of the 3 chargers I already own. I don't have enough money to get things fixed because I play in a band that tours constantly and often doesn't make very much money. I've started taking side gigs doing things besides playing drums (which also angers me a lot) to build up my finances to fix these things and move into a new place, but it will be months before that is possible. Nothing works right here, I'm always having to find a work around just to accomplish the simplist of tasks. I absolutely hate it here. I need my own space where I can be in control. I spent my whole childhood living in a cluttered, disorganized, enabling household and it's very important to me to NOT live in that kind of environment as an adult. I like cleanliness, organization, responsibility...none of which is prevelent here. Every second here is full of anger and rage. I absolutely fucking hate it here.