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Day 8 Too much rest

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by KHSauce, Dec 27, 2016.

  1. KHSauce

    KHSauce New Member

    It's been two months since my last journaled entry. The SEProgram recommended I take a day off on the 7th day. It was the greatest feeling; a whole 24 hrs where I didn't have to think of my ailments. I used that time to smile, build my confidence, and remember who I am and what I wanted. It has taken me two months to figure that out. My TMS didn't effect me so much in that time; however, It is time to go back and finish what I started. I believe part of my problem is once I notice some positive result I subconsciously back away for the things that was helping me. Much like oxygen, I took it for granted. I could list the reasons for such a long break, but none of that is important. Excuses never solve a situation, only prolong its end result.

    Living in NYC, I have the opportunity to witness many unique and unpredictable moments. On the subway, which can be a show all in its self, I witnessed a female passenger rapping. She gave no mind as to who was around, the lyrics she sang, or the volume of her voice. I've seen this show before and I immediately thought, "I hope you get off at the next stop!" Luckily, her baby was sound asleep in its stroller.

    She danced in her timberlands, (how does one do that) and putting on and taking off her sunglasses. She had obnoxious heavy set earrings and pointed to the sky to give thanks. It was at that moment I asked myself the question, "what am I doing wrong? What is holding me back from happiness?"

    The inspiring female artist exited the train at the next stop and I'm grateful she shed some light and direction. At first, I was quick to judge her. I know very little about her and nor do I know what is holding her back; however, I do know she is slightly freer than I am.

    My rage, anger, and insecurities still exist. I’m happy to be back and on to day 8
     
    Saoirse likes this.
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, KHSauce. That rapper would anyone, being so inconsiderate of others on the subway. You tolerated it very well. Try to put the experience out of your mind and focus on journaling, to learn why you have rage, anger, and feel insecure. You might give yourself more days off from TMS work, since you felt so good during the day of rest.
     
  3. KHSauce

    KHSauce New Member

    Thank you, Walt!
     

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