Day 27 Today's question to ponder: how is journaling working for me?

[If 6 was 9]

Well I have to admit, I really don't like the journaling. It's strange, because it's not because I have a problem with writing - I have a writing background and work with words for a job.

But I think I feel like it's homework. It reminds me of being back at school or university and having to write an essay. I hated that feeling.

But having said all that, as I'm getting towards the end of each entry, I find I enjoy it or that I like the way I've expressed the ideas. I think the value might be that getting it down on paper (or in my case, in digital format) means you can unpack the ideas in a logical and linear way in front of you rather than being only able to deal with a few thoughts at a time in your head, often returning obsessively to thoughts that hold more power, or more likely, obsessively turning away from those thoughts...

Then there's the spider writing technique which isn't linear. I like that one because it's quick! But at the back of my head I think I don't attribute as much value to that, as though writing a narrative is somehow superior - I'm sure this harks back to the intellectual snobbery learned at university.

As to whether the journaling is helping my TMS symptoms - the jury is out. What has helped more is learning about the mind/brain/body interrelation, other people's success stories, the multitude of strategies to treat your TMS and meditating on self-acceptance. I suppose journaling is a way to apply what you learn to your situation, otherwise you're learning in a vacuum.

See, I just worked out the value of journaling through the act of journaling!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi again. I resisted journaling when I began the SEProgram, and I'm a writer by profession. I decided to try it and found how good it was, to dig into my past and discover emotions I had been repressing since I was a boy.

I suggest you just bite the bullet and journal It can take just a few minutes if you want. You don't have to write an essay on each thing you remember... just a sentence could be enough. Like in a diary, a person seldom writes very much about each event in a day.

It's great that you are spending some time on the Mind/Brain/Body interconnection, reading the success stories, and read about different strategies for healing from TMS-caused pain.

Try not to pressure yourself... TMS healing is a journey that can take a while. Be patient with it and yourself.

 

[If 6 was 9]

Thanks Walt. It is as you say one of those things that you just need to bite the bullet to do.

As for not pressuring myself, that's what I'm still learning. When I started I was hoping it would all just magically disappear like it seems to for the lucky ones. But I'm realizing now that it's a long process. What does my head in is how sometimes there's lots of pain when you think you've had big insights or actively changing your thinking or behavior patterns for the better, whereas on other days the pain will be quite improved for no apparent reason at all.

Maybe there's a lag time between bringing about the change and the intended results. Above all, patience is the key. Like one of those Buddhist paradoxes: effortless effort, or trying by not trying.