Today I canceled my physical therapy...

One more baby step toward convincing myself that this is TMS. Realizing that even if my logical mind says, "well, maybe you can just get some tips on strengthening exercise or tips on avoiding LBP when I do sit-ups" that what will really happen is that the structural-defect belief system in me will get reinforced.

Yesterday I went ballroom dancing. Noticed how I was mentally bracing myself because "dancing causes leg/back pain". Felt unsteady and wobbly while dancing even tho it didn't really hurt. Got more and more stressed as the day went on until I was in full fear mode. Back pain, shoulder pain, headache at night. I realized this morning that all that reaction was fear doing its dirty work behind the scenes.

So this morning I canceled PT. Today I will go out and live and not think about this. And next week I will return to Tai Chi (OK. I will return gradually) and I will realized that Tai Chi does NOT cause leg pain. *sigh*

 

Hi, Dahlia. Dancing was bound to have you feeling a little unsteady, but the symptoms that came afterward were probably,
as you suspected, from fearing you had damaged something. I'm old enough to remember "Jitterbugs" dancing during World War II,
the guys tossing their girl partner up over their heads. No one got hurt and they had a great time. I prefer the two-step or polkas and waltzes,
but dancing always gave me a good "Lift" to my spirit.

I hope you will dance some more, even if it's just at home with the radio on. It's great exercise and a morale booster.

And I hope you return to Tai Chi, even if just gradually. I'm 84 and do a little Tai Chi most days.
Just moving the arms and legs feels good. I get most of my exercise picking up things I drop. Now I know what "all thumbs" is. I spill more glasses and cups when my thumb
catches in them. haha.

 

Dahlia,
It is not easy to let go of all the ways we think we can get better, like the physical therapy. Especially when you are in pain. Keep up the good work, and try to keep the faith that all these physical activities don't cause pain. We are meant to move and dance and stretch. It isn't harmful!!

I don't know if you have tried the Healing Back Pain book on tape by Dr. Sarno, the one Steve Ozanich listened to so many times...for me that was good, to hear Dr. Sarno's convincing voice over and over telling his patients that "there is nothing wrong!" This or other regular readings might be really supportive as you move away from a habitual "support" like PT and into the zone of more trust in the real TMS cure.

This is a huge insight!!! Just seeing this, in my opinion, begins to loosen the grip. Find ways to soothe yourself with music or breathing, chant...

Andy

 

I tell my fear to go F itself. It seems to listen.

 

I like that Walt. That is taking a stand, and taking charge. TMS needs to know who is in control here!!

Caution, crude humor: "you show it who's boss!"

 

Walt...you gave me a great laugh-out-loud! How therapeutic is that?! Thanks!

 

Andy: I have not tried listening to Dr. Sarno read his book but that is a great suggestion. I remember last year when we had access to his video lecture, watching that did me a lot of good. That link was shut down but the recorded book could be the ticket.

And yes, music has a powerful effect on me so I do use it all the time. IN FACT, tomorrow is my birthday and I asked my husband for a fancy wireless speaker so I can blast high quality tunes all over the house.

Thanks!