TMS?

[Breezer]

Hi all, ive been really struggling for the last 6 months. This all started after a very traumatic sexual experience.

i have been suffering with pelvic/low back pain+ sensory issues like allodynia and paresthesia. After the experience, i was extremely stressed, using alcohol to cope (this has stopped now), insomnia and avoidance behaviour. This all added up to extreme stress, fear and anxiety around my sexual health.

i have done all sti testing including HSV, mycoplasma and ureaplasma. HSV1 came back positive (70% of the population have hsv1) and ureaplasma parvum which is mainly a red herring finding in sexually active adults. I treated the ureaplasma with abx. I felt so much better on abx but the symptoms bounced right back once i completed the dose. I felt like I was finally doing something to help but unfortunately the symptoms came back w a vengeance a few days after.
I have had blood tests which were perfect, Physical examinations, urine cultures and XRAYS. Nothing has explained my symptoms. Funnily enough, when everything came back clear, i cried in frustration. There was/is no answer to my suffering.

good news is, a lot of the muscular issues have mainly resolved through time and lowering my fear around those symptoms. At one point, i could not sit down for longer than 10 minutes without deep hip pain. I am now left with 3 very concerning symptoms.

1. allodynia in legs that change in intensity and location.
2. Parestesia in legs that changes in intensity.
3. Internal vibrations that come and go (this has improved massively)

Leg symptoms are symmetrical in nature.

i have a long history of anxiety and depression. This has changed my life and i had to leave work (i worked a very stressful job). I have used up all my savings to figure this out. I have noticed times when my symptoms have lessened. 1. In the gym and 2. After a very hot bath. Interestingly, my symptoms pretty much drop down to a 1/2-10 after a hot bath. I have also noticed when im half asleep i feel so much better. Practically 0 symptoms

my main concern is the persistence of the symptoms i mentioned. Burning legs is very concerning and im really struggling with it.

does this sound like TMS? Is there anything im missing?

thanks all

 

[rob89]

Sounds like TMS in every way.

The very fact you cried in frustration at there being no findings shows me that. I did exactly the same many years ago. You said that there being no findings means there was/is no answer…that is your answer. Right there.

When our suffering becomes so bad, we WANT there to be bad findings because it’s creates a sense of justification for all we have experienced and lost; physically, mentally, emotionally etc

Unresolved trauma from your experience has caused this. You’re all clear on tests, you can pinpoint a starting point of trauma, you felt frustration at there being nothing wrong.

You’re good. Address the trauma and the feelings. We all do that in different ways, so I won’t advise what to do.

good luck!

 

[Mani]

I'm so bad at these supportive messages to people I just met but I wanted to say I'm glad you came here and wish you a great recovery. In whatever way may be

 

[Breezer]

Sounds like TMS in every way.

The very fact you cried in frustration at there being no findings shows me that. I did exactly the same many years ago. You said that there being no findings means there was/is no answer…that is your answer. Right there.

When our suffering becomes so bad, we WANT there to be bad findings because it’s creates a sense of justification for all we have experienced and lost; physically, mentally, emotionally etc

Unresolved trauma from your experience has caused this. You’re all clear on tests, you can pinpoint a starting point of trauma, you felt frustration at there being nothing wrong.

You’re good. Address the trauma and the feelings. We all do that in different ways, so I won’t advise what to do.

good luck!

Thanks Rob. Deep down i know this is all an emotional response to what happened. But my scared brain keeps asking questions that i fall for every time. It’s a hard loop to break down, especially for someone with compulsive behaviours.

thanks again.

 

[Breezer]

I'm so bad at these supportive messages to people I just met but I wanted to say I'm glad you came here and wish you a great recovery. In whatever way may be

Thank you Mani!

 

[rob89]

Thanks Rob. Deep down i know this is all an emotional response to what happened. But my scared brain keeps asking questions that i fall for every time. It’s a hard loop to break down, especially for someone with compulsive behaviours.

thanks again.

I hear that. I’m compulsive about everything. You’ll get there!

 

[Alouqua47]

Hola, bienvenido/a. Es muy frustrante tener que someterse a tantas pruebas para que al final no puedan determinar qué te pasa. A mí me pasó lo mismo: me eché a llorar al saber que los médicos no podían ayudarme. También siento ardor en las piernas, que es difuso y varía de un día para otro. Es duro. Y siento sintomas en los brazos , que desaparece al dormir. Al menos eso me permite descansar. Te deseo mucha suerte en tu proceso. Te recomiendo encarecidamente la Terapia de Reprocesamiento del Dolor , que tiene una base científica que demuestra su eficacia.

 

[Cactusflower]

"1. allodynia in legs that change in intensity and location.
2. Parestesia in legs that changes in intensity.
3. Internal vibrations that come and go (this has improved massively)"

I have had all of these symptoms although not in the same body parts as you. I still occasionally have sensations which could be described as parestresia, but in general, all of these have gone with being aware of how connected these sensations are with my emotions, but mainly my mindset.

Your Dr.'s have been kind to let you know that there is nothing to worry about.

There is a phenomenon that a few TMS coaches talk about, and I think it's similar to what I went through. The idea that you now are responsible for your healing and can't pass it off to a Dr. becomes incredibly overwhelming. It seems easier to just hand over your power to someone else, and get that "magic" pill or solution to heal us. I've learned over time, that this would mean I would totally miss out on life if that happened!

This "responsiblity" I feared was not the actual responsibility but f*cking up the "responsibility". What does that say about how I was viewing myself? Where did I learn that load of crap? Is it really true? What kind of bull was I thinking I needed to do to be "responsible" (or some kind of success). Why on earth was I not enough to myself (and others) just as I was?

The Structured Educational Program takes you though all of these questions (posed in various ways) to help us see where our anxiety and worry isn't needed and where we stand in our own way. It's super helpful to a lot of people.

 

[Breezer]

Hi all, a few good updates. I have spoken to my general practitioner and she is very receptive to TMS. She used the term “central sensitisation”.

she has been mostly helpful get to the bottom of this. She started me on 10mg amitriptyline to try and calm the discomfort down so i can work through my emotions properly. After only 5 days on this medication, my leg symptoms have dialled all the way down to a 1/2-10 which is fantastic news. My research suggests this is a clear sign of TMS. (Let me know if true).

i have now noticed i can feel my emotions so much more now the pain is dialled back. I felt so anxious yesterday, like something was sitting on my chest. I journaled and worked through it pretty well (with some tears!)

i have now noticed the “sun burn” feeling is now in my upper back/traps region. Another sure sign what this is. Slowly but surely, i feel like im finally on the right path. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement!