Day 8 TMS treatment to this point

By happenstance, my wife was away last week, so it was relatively easy for to do the journaling and self reflection without a lot of distraction. I've been consistently doing a 30-40 minute morning exercise routine, rotating days between and elliptical, Heavy Hands routine, and a yoga routine. The journaling has been a good experience for me, as I tend to avoid expressing emotions, or thinking about them. I'm recently retired at a young age (58), and my main stress creator is the feeling that I should be doing something meaningful with my life. There's a bit of guilt about retiring so young. And I have been doing plenty of "meaningful" things. But I have a long list, and felt guilty about not getting to more of it. I've come to think of my list of things that I'd like to do, not that I have to do. I could die tomorrow or in another 30 or 40 years. If I die tomorrow and don't get things done on the list, this would not be a catastrophe, leaving the things undone.

I've also realized that I tend to get anxious around the idea of finishing what I'm doing now so that I can get to do the next thing, which presumably is more important. I find myself rushing, and my belly getting tense. When I recognize this, I do like I do when I meditate, "come back to the breath". Taking one or two mindful breaths is enough to get me to realize that what I'm doing is what I'm doing, and there is nothing else. I slow down, and get more in the experience of whatever it is.

My pain comes and goes. I still generally have it in the morning when I wake up, and it fades during the day. It fades more quickly when I've done my exercises and/or taken a morning hot shower. I try to not hold back when tying my shoes or having to bend over, the times when the pain is most troublesome. I have taken to talking to my mind, letting it know that I know what it's up to on those occasions, though it does feel a bit silly!

I enjoyed Day 7 -- the day off. Also the discussion about whether you could do "too much" about trying to address TMS. I'd had those same questions myself. Between this wiki, and a short stack of books, it feels like I'm spending more time than I'd like thinking about this issue. I do have to consciously say "those books can stay there for awhile".

Thanks for reading!
Jeff

 

Hi, Jeff. Retirement can cause stress, and you add to that some guilt about not accomplishing more on that list you mention. Maybe consider doing some volunteer work, at a hospital, retirement home, library. Just an hour a day can make you feel like you're doing good for others.

I too find deep breathing to be very calming. The exercise you are doing also is very helpful toward TMS healing. Keep up the good work!

 

Thanks Walt...I've got a pretty good portfolio of volunteer efforts going on. When I was working, my sense of self definitely revolved around how my peers viewed me, how clients liked to work with me, and how I'd made an impact on my profession. There's definitely a tendency for me to compare myself to other people and what they're doing. My journaling today (Day 10), spent some time addressing that!