Crios4119
Newcomer
Hello,
I have been browsing these forums for a while now and am so grateful to have found this wonderful resource! I have discovered Dr. Sarno recently, and have read halfway through the Mindbody Perscription, so I thought I would share what I've been going through and hopefully get some opinions on whether I have TMS or not. I'm becoming very convinced that I do, but it is very difficult to let go of the fear that something is still physically wrong. A couple of years ago I was washing my car, and afterwards I had this wierd burning sensation in my right forearm out of nowhere. I was a piano major and had just recovered from a RSI in my hand that was caused by bad technique, but it cleared up with rest, so I wasn't playing very much when this new injury occured. After this happened, I experienced alot of fatigue at the piano that I never had before, and could only play a few notes for about 5 minutes before having to stop due to the fatigue and burning. The doctor said it was tendonitis, so I did several sessions of physical therapy and deep tissue messages while taking weeks off the piano. The treatment didn't help, although I would feel better during the message but an hour or so later, the symptoms came right back. The same thing also started in my left arm out of no where a few weeks later. Since reading through about half the book, I realized I have every personality trait, and that I have alot of rage. I started to really fear the piano, and I began to constantly worry that I was doing something wrong because I feared making it worse. Funny thing is, the pain has never been that bad. My arms just have this burning sensation all the time, but it has never gotten better or worse. I become obsessed with the problem and have always been afraid to do anything since I thought it would get worse. This has created alot of rage, as I wanted to pursue a piano degree and do this as a career, and the one thing I am passionate about is taken away, and I was forced to drop out of college a year ago since I could barely play. Fast forward several months of no piano, it never improved and I went to a sports medicine doctor this March who works with injured musicians. He did a x-ray of my spine and said nothing is wrong and there are no pinched nerves, and diagnosed it as tennis elbow. So he sent me to 12 sessions of occupational therapy, more ice, heat, ultrasound, tens unit, etc. and there has been barely any improvement, and the therapists insist it is RSI but the ergonomic computer stuff doesn't do a thing. Now, I'll list the strange things that make me think it's TMS -
I have been retraining my piano technique in the Taubman approach with an expert teacher for the past 3 months, which is a healthy technique that has gotten many injured pianists out of pain. They teach you how to properly move at the piano, and explain why many things pianists are traditionally taught can cause injury. The funny thing is, in all of the success stories you read, the pianists have alot of pain in real life, but at the piano when they learn the new healthy movements, they don't have any pain or fatigue, and usually in this amount of time they are pretty much recovered. Why is it that I go to the piano and play a few notes, and the symptoms start back up? Sometimes even my left arm is fine for a couple weeks, but as soon as I play a few notes, the symptoms come back as bad as they were before, Despite the fact it is a healthy technique and I am being told I'm doing it correctly. And I barely even use my left arm. Why is it that I can play bass for 30 minutes straight and never have any symptoms? I can carry several bags of heavy groceries and have no symptoms, yet I try to lift some weights and the symptoms come immediately. It seems to affect everything that I love to do, yet there is absolutely no reason the piano should be causing a problem. I was reading in the book today how our brain can be conditioned to have pain with certain activities, and I believe this is happening because I am so worried I am going to do something wrong and re-injure myself, and I expect to have the pain every time I play or lift weights. Reading that blew me away. Yet when I have the pain, it still makes me fear that something is physically wrong. I even started having knee pain and calf pain a few weeks ago for no reason at all, and it gets worse when I go for a walk. I guess I am asking, how can I get out of this fear of having the pain at the piano? I am very convinced this is TMS and it seems impossible that something is still wrong, and I know what I'm doing at the piano will not harm me, yet the fear is so strong. It makes sense that my brain is conditioned to have fatigue and pain when I play, and that seems like the best explanation because I go to the piano fearing that I am going to have it. It is strange though that this has never gotten better, or worse. Sometimes it's a burning sensation, or a dull ache near my elbow, or my arm will feel weak. Some days it's fine most of the day, or it will just flare up for no reason when I haven't done anything. I should mention too that I always get back pain after sitting at the piano a few minutes, yet I can sit for a long time in any other chair without much of a problem, and again they confirmed nothing is wrong. Also when I would go to the message therapist, they would always find so many muscle knots in my upper back and triceps. I am so tight all the time for some reason. Around my hips is very tender as well.
I apologize for how lengthy this is, and greatly appreciate anyone taking the time to read it. I am just looking for some opinions about all this stuff and more reassurance that it is TMS. Thanks!!
I have been browsing these forums for a while now and am so grateful to have found this wonderful resource! I have discovered Dr. Sarno recently, and have read halfway through the Mindbody Perscription, so I thought I would share what I've been going through and hopefully get some opinions on whether I have TMS or not. I'm becoming very convinced that I do, but it is very difficult to let go of the fear that something is still physically wrong. A couple of years ago I was washing my car, and afterwards I had this wierd burning sensation in my right forearm out of nowhere. I was a piano major and had just recovered from a RSI in my hand that was caused by bad technique, but it cleared up with rest, so I wasn't playing very much when this new injury occured. After this happened, I experienced alot of fatigue at the piano that I never had before, and could only play a few notes for about 5 minutes before having to stop due to the fatigue and burning. The doctor said it was tendonitis, so I did several sessions of physical therapy and deep tissue messages while taking weeks off the piano. The treatment didn't help, although I would feel better during the message but an hour or so later, the symptoms came right back. The same thing also started in my left arm out of no where a few weeks later. Since reading through about half the book, I realized I have every personality trait, and that I have alot of rage. I started to really fear the piano, and I began to constantly worry that I was doing something wrong because I feared making it worse. Funny thing is, the pain has never been that bad. My arms just have this burning sensation all the time, but it has never gotten better or worse. I become obsessed with the problem and have always been afraid to do anything since I thought it would get worse. This has created alot of rage, as I wanted to pursue a piano degree and do this as a career, and the one thing I am passionate about is taken away, and I was forced to drop out of college a year ago since I could barely play. Fast forward several months of no piano, it never improved and I went to a sports medicine doctor this March who works with injured musicians. He did a x-ray of my spine and said nothing is wrong and there are no pinched nerves, and diagnosed it as tennis elbow. So he sent me to 12 sessions of occupational therapy, more ice, heat, ultrasound, tens unit, etc. and there has been barely any improvement, and the therapists insist it is RSI but the ergonomic computer stuff doesn't do a thing. Now, I'll list the strange things that make me think it's TMS -
I have been retraining my piano technique in the Taubman approach with an expert teacher for the past 3 months, which is a healthy technique that has gotten many injured pianists out of pain. They teach you how to properly move at the piano, and explain why many things pianists are traditionally taught can cause injury. The funny thing is, in all of the success stories you read, the pianists have alot of pain in real life, but at the piano when they learn the new healthy movements, they don't have any pain or fatigue, and usually in this amount of time they are pretty much recovered. Why is it that I go to the piano and play a few notes, and the symptoms start back up? Sometimes even my left arm is fine for a couple weeks, but as soon as I play a few notes, the symptoms come back as bad as they were before, Despite the fact it is a healthy technique and I am being told I'm doing it correctly. And I barely even use my left arm. Why is it that I can play bass for 30 minutes straight and never have any symptoms? I can carry several bags of heavy groceries and have no symptoms, yet I try to lift some weights and the symptoms come immediately. It seems to affect everything that I love to do, yet there is absolutely no reason the piano should be causing a problem. I was reading in the book today how our brain can be conditioned to have pain with certain activities, and I believe this is happening because I am so worried I am going to do something wrong and re-injure myself, and I expect to have the pain every time I play or lift weights. Reading that blew me away. Yet when I have the pain, it still makes me fear that something is physically wrong. I even started having knee pain and calf pain a few weeks ago for no reason at all, and it gets worse when I go for a walk. I guess I am asking, how can I get out of this fear of having the pain at the piano? I am very convinced this is TMS and it seems impossible that something is still wrong, and I know what I'm doing at the piano will not harm me, yet the fear is so strong. It makes sense that my brain is conditioned to have fatigue and pain when I play, and that seems like the best explanation because I go to the piano fearing that I am going to have it. It is strange though that this has never gotten better, or worse. Sometimes it's a burning sensation, or a dull ache near my elbow, or my arm will feel weak. Some days it's fine most of the day, or it will just flare up for no reason when I haven't done anything. I should mention too that I always get back pain after sitting at the piano a few minutes, yet I can sit for a long time in any other chair without much of a problem, and again they confirmed nothing is wrong. Also when I would go to the message therapist, they would always find so many muscle knots in my upper back and triceps. I am so tight all the time for some reason. Around my hips is very tender as well.
I apologize for how lengthy this is, and greatly appreciate anyone taking the time to read it. I am just looking for some opinions about all this stuff and more reassurance that it is TMS. Thanks!!
