TMS not working this time

I had TMS about 5-6 years ago with a foot issue. I was about to have surgery when I found Dr. Sarno's book and with in two weeks the pain was gone.. it was fantastic. I realized then what triggered it and I think that helped with the healing..

Fast forward..

I do have a bunch of back issues which I just took in stride. I have severe scoliosis which has started causing major issues the older I got. Until recently, the pain was something I have dealt with...not debilitating until now. I have a pretty decent rib hump which now requires a very expensive bed for me to sleep in. My left leg has almost went out where I can't walk. I know I have a pinched nerve along with all the other things found on a MRI. In the past the leg issue wasn't bad, I sit down and it got better..well now I can't walk.

If this is TMS, I know what triggered is this time. I married it, so between him and his family and my family, I should be locked up in a home..the stress from them is unbelievable. I have read more books, done everything and I can't seem to shake the pain. I have since decided to get another MRI and go to a chiro.. I am beside myself on what to do..not being able to walk or work during the holidays is just awful.

I am open to any suggestions that might help.. I read Alan's workshop, I read all of Dr Sarno's books. I read numerous recovery stories. I tried journaling..I just need help getting over this radiculopathy hump. Short of divorcing the man and running away from my family, I am at a total loss..

 

Hi and welcome. I'm glad you had that earlier experience and some valuable awareness. There are triggers like situations and stress, and there are the personality traits. Do you remember that bit from the books? And there is always something more underneath what seems to be a stress or cause right now. We don't get here (chronic pain, moving and changing but not leaving pain), without these underlying threads or links to deeper emotions, suppressed emotions and things we haven't been able to feel, process or express.

On a practical level...is divorcing or at least making time for yourself and some time away from your family an option at all? When my pain got so bad last year that I could barely walk sometimes (at age 49) and I realised I was getting really fearful about my general physical health, one thing I'm very glad I did was just take back my time, and spend time by myself, sometimes journalling and opening to deep emotions and sometimes going out walking, especially once I accepted and understood that it was TMS that I had had for 35 years. There is that component of not doing this for physical results (just to stop my pain), and finding ways to move our focus away from the pain and not take it seriously and not explore treatments or diagnosis, but just get on with life.

Is there any of this you are willing to do more of now?

 

What do you mean by hump? Is that a swelling or something? Radiculopathy is nerve pain which is most likely TMS... I'm not sure if the "hump" is structural or not.

 

I would love to have my more time for myself but I am self employed. My husband has cancer and I take care of my 94 year old mom so things are totally overwhelming now. If the corona went around I would take off for a weekend and run away. My kids are old enough to watch out my mom.

The two main people in my life complain about everything. I am like their personal complaint department. Then they complain about me. Ugh. It is wonder I can move at all.

 

I have a rib hump from my scoliosis which is structural but not the cause of my pain. My spine is not only crooked but it is rotating.

 

That is my back with me bending over.

 

Ok so the radiculopathy is TMS and you don't need to worry about the hump as long as your scoliosis is being taken care of with PT etc. Maybe schedule a session with a TMS doctor if you're really concerned about those two things.

 

I'm sorry, that's a lot to be going through right now. I'm just learning how to be an adult and this is beyond my comprehension, like a waking nightmare.

So definitely seeing a TMS therapist should be a top priority.

Maybe your kids can help you keep an eye on your mom or your husband?
Maybe join a small business support group that meets up on Zoom often?
Maybe look into family therapy as well?