TMS has been running crazy on me the past week or so. For some reason, I have developed an interesting habit lately of whenever I go on vacation I usually start getting Upper GI stomach issues. I usually know that my trip is coming up and then start fearing the "inevitable" of the stomach issues coming on. And the funny thing is that the fear I think is ultimately what causes me to obsess over how my stomach is feeling. I start worrying that I won't be able to enjoy good food or some alcoholic drinks with my friends and family and it becomes obsessive.
I went to Mexico earlier this year and had some particularly bad stomach issues. I starting feeling a "tingling" feeling in my gut almost like that feeling when you are on a roller coaster, but constant. To the point, I had to lay down and start doing breathing exercises, because I thought I might have a panic attack (I went through a time in my life when I had some pretty bad anxiety and went to the ER many times thinking I was having a heart attack).
But anyways, while in Mexico I theorized that maybe I was having such issues because I was putting too much pressure on myself to make sure every one else on the trip had a good time (people pleaser mentality). Once I just started telling myself to start thinking about what I wanted to do and not worry so much about my girlfriend or other friends, the issues got much better.
Now fast forward to this past Labor Day weekend, my girlfriend and I along with my brother and his fiance took a trip out to California for a friends wedding. In the days leading up to the trip, I starting worrying about the "inevitable" stomach issues. Sure enough I got the tingling stomach thing that I became obsessive over again. I barely had an appetite most of the trip due to the nerves in my stomach just being fired up doing all kinds of somersaults and what not. After eating sometimes, I just felt terrible from the food digesting. I felt like I could feel everything and it just wasn't a pleasant feeling. Very weird, but definitely a TMS thing.
I had sharp pains at times and could feel my esophagus and stomach go into spasms at times, other times it was the constant tingling deep in my gut that just drove me crazy. Now I've been home for a couple of days, and the stomach thing is much better. I'm not thinking about it as much at least, but I've still got the dull feeling or tingling thing in my gut just lingering.
Me typing this out on here is more of a therapeutic thing I think, since I'm not really sure what advice I need from this forum. I know that this is TMS, my brain is furiously trying to distract me from something, but I'm just not sure what. I know that I historically have a bad habit of compartmentalizing and repressing emotions, so consciously I have a hard time trying to figure out what I'm really feeling sometimes.
Maybe, it was just the fact that I was around my girlfriend, brother, and his fiance 24/7 for almost 4 days straight and I was pissed that I couldn't just go somewhere by myself and relax. Although, I'm not sure why the feeling is still lingering now that I'm home and back in my normal routine. Maybe just a neural pathway open now for all my usual day to day anxiety lol.
Not really sure, I had a huge fight with my sister a few weeks ago that caused me a lot of anxiety. We were both drunk and said some regrettable things. She basically went off about my girlfriend, and called her "my sh!t a$$ girlfriend" and saw red and lost it on her. We both apologized the next day to each other and decided that it was just the alcohol talking. Although I can't help but wonder and worry that my sister has some kind of resentment of my girlfriend that the alcohol simply helped her bring up to me.
I wonder if this lingering unresolved emotions have something to do with my current TMS coupled with whatever got my anxiety going on my recent trip. I also saw some of my friend's wife's friends at this wedding in California that the last time I had seen them was on a trip in the mountains last year where I drank too much and made an ass of myself. I had a lot shame and guilt after that trip and was in a really dark place for a little while after that. Maybe some more things contributing to my current TMS and anxiety.
Anyway, rant over. Thanks for listening.
I went to Mexico earlier this year and had some particularly bad stomach issues. I starting feeling a "tingling" feeling in my gut almost like that feeling when you are on a roller coaster, but constant. To the point, I had to lay down and start doing breathing exercises, because I thought I might have a panic attack (I went through a time in my life when I had some pretty bad anxiety and went to the ER many times thinking I was having a heart attack).
But anyways, while in Mexico I theorized that maybe I was having such issues because I was putting too much pressure on myself to make sure every one else on the trip had a good time (people pleaser mentality). Once I just started telling myself to start thinking about what I wanted to do and not worry so much about my girlfriend or other friends, the issues got much better.
Now fast forward to this past Labor Day weekend, my girlfriend and I along with my brother and his fiance took a trip out to California for a friends wedding. In the days leading up to the trip, I starting worrying about the "inevitable" stomach issues. Sure enough I got the tingling stomach thing that I became obsessive over again. I barely had an appetite most of the trip due to the nerves in my stomach just being fired up doing all kinds of somersaults and what not. After eating sometimes, I just felt terrible from the food digesting. I felt like I could feel everything and it just wasn't a pleasant feeling. Very weird, but definitely a TMS thing.
I had sharp pains at times and could feel my esophagus and stomach go into spasms at times, other times it was the constant tingling deep in my gut that just drove me crazy. Now I've been home for a couple of days, and the stomach thing is much better. I'm not thinking about it as much at least, but I've still got the dull feeling or tingling thing in my gut just lingering.
Me typing this out on here is more of a therapeutic thing I think, since I'm not really sure what advice I need from this forum. I know that this is TMS, my brain is furiously trying to distract me from something, but I'm just not sure what. I know that I historically have a bad habit of compartmentalizing and repressing emotions, so consciously I have a hard time trying to figure out what I'm really feeling sometimes.
Maybe, it was just the fact that I was around my girlfriend, brother, and his fiance 24/7 for almost 4 days straight and I was pissed that I couldn't just go somewhere by myself and relax. Although, I'm not sure why the feeling is still lingering now that I'm home and back in my normal routine. Maybe just a neural pathway open now for all my usual day to day anxiety lol.
Not really sure, I had a huge fight with my sister a few weeks ago that caused me a lot of anxiety. We were both drunk and said some regrettable things. She basically went off about my girlfriend, and called her "my sh!t a$$ girlfriend" and saw red and lost it on her. We both apologized the next day to each other and decided that it was just the alcohol talking. Although I can't help but wonder and worry that my sister has some kind of resentment of my girlfriend that the alcohol simply helped her bring up to me.
I wonder if this lingering unresolved emotions have something to do with my current TMS coupled with whatever got my anxiety going on my recent trip. I also saw some of my friend's wife's friends at this wedding in California that the last time I had seen them was on a trip in the mountains last year where I drank too much and made an ass of myself. I had a lot shame and guilt after that trip and was in a really dark place for a little while after that. Maybe some more things contributing to my current TMS and anxiety.
Anyway, rant over. Thanks for listening.
