tms flare and fear

[clairem]

Hi, as you may see from my profile blurb ive made good progress in the last year with regards to healing from tms, after been housebound for years (fibro diagnosis) im now about to start voluntary work and i only take two paracetemol a day for pain (used to have tramadol, paracetemol, acupan , duloxetine daily). Hubby and i are even going to try for another baby but here's the thing - i got a cold at the weekend and tms has really kicked off, i think was culmination of things - fear of "what if it comes back after we have a baby", then "how can we have another baby when im in this much pain again?!" to just fear of the pain not going - "did i stop my tablets too soon?" etc i know fear is making it worse but im fearful! pls any tips / advice appreciated, i know ive come far but im freaking out now that pain back and i need to stop freaking out

thanks in advance
Cx

 

[Ellen]

Hi clairem,

First, congratulations on all your progress and on deciding to have another child. That is exciting!

I went through a very similar situation that you describe recently. After over a year of being pain free, I had a relapse. I knew it was TMS and I knew why it was occurring, but I just couldn't get the pain to stop. I tried all the "tricks" I knew--meditation, talking to my brain, journaling--but still it persisted. Then I realized that I had become totally preoccupied with it, and the "why" of it. I was totally self-absorbed with ME, MY STORY, and MY TMS. This is what Steve O. calls "tmsing". As soon as I shifted my attention away from ME, and began thinking of other people or became absorbed in an activity not TMS-related, my pain lifted.

Sarno recommends spending less than an hour a day working on TMS-related activities. Once you have reached that amount, then STOP, and begin to focus elsewhere and live your life.

You've been pain free before and you can be again. You have much to enjoy in your life now and to look forward to. Just shift your attention away from your TMS.

 

[clairem]

thanks thats very good advice, ive noticed my mood drop alot just from the idea that it may be coming back, i'll try and shift my focus . Do you ever resent having to do the work, i think i really do but i know deep down it will help , meditation , affirmations etc i guess i just want to be well and not have to do any of it x

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

It may at times seem like we'd rather have some magic wand take away our symptoms, from pain to fear,
but we really do need to spend some time with meditation, affirmations, and other positive techniques for healing.

I switch any impatience with meditation, etc., to reminding myself how great I am going to feel.

You may need to take some breaks in working with your TMS. The days after the holidays can be letdowns.
Take some time to things that give you pleasure and lift your spirits.

 

[Ellen]

Do you ever resent having to do the work, i think i really do but i know deep down it will help , meditation , affirmations etc i guess i just want to be well and not have to do any of it x

No, I don't resent needing to do these things, because TMS or not, I know that doing them has made me a happier, kinder, and more compassionate person. The quality of my life has improved. And I think it's important to do these things for that reason and not to get rid of TMS. It goes back to the concept of outcome independence. Do what makes life worth living, and try not to focus on healing TMS.

Now all the day to day work of life--shopping, cooking, cleaning, driving, etc--that I have to work on not resenting having to do it. When I find myself feeling irritated or annoyed by a task, I try to do it mindfully, and it changes that negative into a positive feeling.

It's the awareness that is key, and knowing you have the power to change your state of mind. I get on autopilot sometimes, and forget I can make the change.

Wishing you the best...

 

[clairem]

thanks walt, good tips, good insight ellen ta