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Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by lexylucy, Apr 27, 2015.

  1. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    I went dancing today at my favorite dance class. This is a class that I absolutely swore off because the next day I would be in so much pain! It would be unbelievable! And my physical therapist would say -you shouldn't go dancing because you are hyper-mobile in your disks and your neck and dancing is bad for you. And if you do dance you should just not move your spine at all (and dance like a robot stick figure??) I would be SO SAD because I felt like I couldn't go. And like there was something deeply wrong with me. And I would swear it off for another three or six months and then I would try again and the same thing would happen. Terrible pain. But this time is the first time I went since my discovery of my TMS.

    My experience was so interesting. I felt so much closer to my heart. And for the first time there I could really feel how many emotions come up for me at that dance class. All of the different people and their energies and how emotional other people were. And people wanting to partner with me and feeling like I don't want to and how much space I need in order to feel safe there. And people attracted to each other and strange looks and on and on. But the more and more I became aware of all my different emotions coming up I feel like hell---that must be why my TMS and physical symptoms of pain BLARE as soon as I would walk in the door before.

    Could it be that it was all a crock of s--t? Emotional?

    I don't know but I have less pain right now than I remember having yesterday...
    David88 likes this.
  2. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    @lexylucy, was it the music perhaps or was it because u were doing something u enjoy so much that all the emotions u were holding came to the surface. Allow the range of emotions to come up freely without trying too hard to understand. Just feel them & let them pass thru yr body. Later maybe u can sit down & journal about them & analyse them a bit more if u like. Its actually good u r feeling all those emotions.

    Great to hear also that u having less pain.

    I found this link recently called Dancing with Pain which might interest you. Its about how a lady cured herself of awful pain by dancing & is now coaching others to do the same.


    hope it helps.

    Barb M., lexylucy and Ollin like this.
  3. lighthouse15

    lighthouse15 New Member

    And it's no wonder people are in pain and so scared of movement...
    lexylucy likes this.
  4. Peggy

    Peggy Well known member

    Good to hear you are out dancing again. I agree with Mala, dancing can be therapeutic. I used to dance to Gabrielle Roth's - The Wave. There are 5 different rhythms representing 5 different areas of feelings you can go into. We also used to draw pictures when we were done. Yea, I agree lots of stuff can come up when you are dancing, and you can feel empty and clear when you are done.
    lexylucy likes this.
  5. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Hyper mobile, hahaha. That is precious, I would like to use that. I made a list of stupid things the "professionals" have said that have harmed people. This one is pretty good.

    So far, during lectures the one that get's the loudest laugh from the audience has been "your eyes are too close together." I would like to hear from other folks what they've been told. I should probably start a separate thread. My personal favorite is, "you need to walk only on level surfaces for the rest of your life." But the most famous one I believe is, "your back hurts because you have ghetto booty."

    There's no group doing more harm to our health than healthcare practitioners. They've marginalized themselves. The TMS docs are a courageous lot and should be commended.
    Kathleen, lexylucy and Ollin like this.
  6. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member


    What is ghetto booty?

    Well... Thanks guys. I have a little more understanding of all of the emotions that came up for me when I was dancing. I would like to try it again.

    Thanks for your support :)
  7. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Lexylucy,

    I think it is fascinating how much more you are seeing/feeling in your dance experience. Like you are seeing and feeling the roots of the pain. I really think this level of insight can be used to undo the symptoms because you are seeing with open eyes the level of tension and conflict, fear and self-monitoring and judging you were always doing. As Mala says, the key is to feel, more than think. The other piece for me, in my growing awareness is to dismiss my Inner Critic's attacks for my inner life. In other words, I need to disconnect from the messages that all these thoughts/feelings are a problem. They are reality, and they may be linked to TMS symptoms. But the link is that "it it isn't OK to be aware of all of this," so there is distraction through pain.

    Congrats on the growing self-awareness, and your closeness to your heart!

    Andy B.
    lexylucy and Mala like this.
  9. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    Wow :) Thank you so much.

  10. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi,LexyLucy. Irish dancers in "Riverdance" doing that tap thing stand erect and don't swing their arms.
    It looks awfully hard on the back and feet.

    I used to love to go to places where I could dance waltzes and polkas. They switched to Hispanic music years ago.
    I still dance in my living room, to CDs of waltzes and polkas. It lifts my spirits and is good exercise.
  11. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Lexylucy, you brought back memories. I used to love to dance. New England contras and English country dancing were my thing for 10 years.
    You are so right about the cacophony of feelings and social interactions at a dance. It can be overwhelming, especially if you're an HSP like me. I loved it and sometimes felt unnerved at the same time. I too had TMS symptoms that would flare up at a dance. I wish I knew then what I know now about embracing the feelings.
    I'm hoping to go back to dancing some day.
    lexylucy likes this.
  12. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    I went again today. I was aware of feelings on and off and a sea of fun. It was very relaxing and peaceful and I feel victorious. How great it is to be able to dance again. :)
    Ellen likes this.
  13. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Soak it up Lexylucy!!!!!!!!!! Yesssss~
  14. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    Thanks you guys.

    I am seeing now how many of the feelings coming up have to do with how I feel about my mother or father either now or at different times in the past. So these feelings NEED to come up and out so that I can see them and recognize that they are past feelings.
    Dancing is a great way to explore my feelings about every man and woman.
    There is no talking and I don't know who these people are so I am able to see my own projections. And the fantasies I go into about who they might be.
  15. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Lexy,
    One hard-edged practice I have at dance right now is to dance with myself at the mirror wall. Talk about Superego activity! You might like this too, you stronger-by-the-minute dancer!! One thing that is fun is that as you approach the mirror, the image comes at you twice as fast as each step!
    Andy B.
    lexylucy likes this.
  16. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    hey guys. Just checking in about dancing.
    So now I have been dancing for a couple of months regularly sometimes twice a week.
    Yesterday I had a bad experience though. I was dancing with someone and he leaned on me and I kind of fell backward so that his weight was all the way resting on me and he is a really big guy and then my back kind of freaked out and I shook him off of me and he fell on the floor. I felt bad about it and apologized he said it was fine and we had a big laugh and talked about it.

    I realize I way took it to far and i'm not sure why I did. I have a bunch of metal in my back and i took it too far. I'm in a lot f pain today and very sad and scared and my back feels stiff. I am not quite sure what is physical and what is so emotional. I feel VERY ANGRY at myself for taking such a risk and going to a place where I could have /may have hurt myself.

    I realize now it is because I wish I could move like other people. It is very sad not to be able to. I look tall and healthy and beautiful maybe but as soon as I move or I'm in a setting like this it's so clear to me and possibly others that I cannot do the things other people can do. And it's so hard to watch people who can & who are so free. I am getting older now -in my thirties-but it's been hard to spend so much of my young life in pain and dealing with major medical problems. Since I was four years old I've been feeling this way like I just wanted to be normal and free and play with the other kids.

    I know I am in good company here on the forum. And I know there are so many people in so much more pain and with far greater physical limitation.

    Thanks for listening.

  17. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi LexyLucy,

    Wow! You were having "too much fun." No wonder something happened... Serious joking aside: 30's is not old, injuries heal, you rightfully don't know how much of this is TMS or physical. I hope you can observe the fear and worrying (treat it like another TMS symptom), give yourself some time to rest and work your TMS approach. You know how to do that, and you were already successful. So, try that, build confidence with a little time, and know that if something got "injured," it will heal. If not, it is TMS, and you can deal..

    Meantime, think of trying some of that deep breathing Walt talks about, or distraction with other activities. I know you're scared, but probably the fear is fear, and it it nothing else.

    Andy B.
    lexylucy likes this.
  18. RichieRich

    RichieRich Well known member


    If it makes you feel any better, I had a somewhat similar incident. It was just last year, in June 2014. I won't go into specific details because it was quite an embarrassing incident. It involved cement stairs, freezing temperatures and no jacket and falling on my left side about 5 times.

    The following morning I felt a little sore, went to stand up and crumbled to the floor in agonizing pain. I must have pulled my left arm into my ribs pretty hard because all of the muscles, to include the intercostal muscles of my ribs, felt like they were torn.

    I couldn't sneeze or cough for 4 weeks. I sneezed on accident one time and fell out of my computer chair wanting to cry. I didn't' break any ribs thankfully, but it took 4 months to recover. Now I'm as good as I was before. Trust me, I felt jealous that nobody else around me had fallen down stairs. If I knew I could have pulled it off with out getting caught, EVERYONE in the office would have fallen down a flight of stairs just so that I could stoke my ego.
    lexylucy likes this.
  19. lexylucy

    lexylucy Well known member

    thanks guys. I feel so silly...but I'm ok :)
  20. RichieRich

    RichieRich Well known member

    And by the way, I'm in my 30's too. I'm a 34 year old male who just a year ago was in top running form before a hamstring pull, but have still be relatively active since then.

    I swear, ever since my first son was born, last September, my entire body went to hell in a hand basket. I went from free and mobile, riding a bike to and from work everyday as well as jogging again, to a lazy busted mass of a human. I had unexplained ankle and foot pain that lasted almost 3 months, then shoulder and neck pain that lasted 3 months as well. The past 6 months have been the most idiotic experience of my adult life.

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