TMS and your age?

[DebraW]

hi
Does anyone know why our TMS appears at different ages? i remember Dr Sarno saying the most common ages are the middle years with the most stress and pressure etc. I'm wondering if I've had the same personality all my life why did the TMS arrive at 60 years old? I feel like I'm still stressed but less now than when I was younger. Appreciate any ideas and thanks.
Hang in there
Hugs

 

[sybilla]

All I can say more and more symptoms showed up when I was around sixty. I did not know about TMS then. My theory is that all my issues, pain and life stresses were pushed in front of me for many years without really dealing with them (i still have not come to the bottom of them), when you get older and maybe have more time on your hand you probably focus more on your mind and body. I had issues too when I was younger but did not treat them as TMS. Some of them have followed me all the way and in the last years i have treated them as TMS with some succes.

My biggest issue now is tight facial muscles causing TMJ. Have been doing it for years and just dont know how to relax and release.
Probably a whole package of negative emotions in them.
All the bes

 

[DebraW]

Hi
Thanks for your input. I definitely have more time on my hands now that I'm retired and perhaps I was thinking too much in my subconscious about aging and death. I'm finding Steves book really helpful and of course healing back pain and Dr Sarno's other books. Have had pain about a year and 3 months and I'm studying the SEP and on day 35 but it's going to take awhile. Think I'm a slow healer but I'm not putting and time limited on myself so that's a big step for me.
Good luck.
Hugs

 

[AndrewMillerMFT]

Hey Debra,

We can't quite say when and how it shows up. Your intuition about retirement seems like an interesting thread to follow. In studies, we typically find that men have an increase in mental health symptoms upon retirement (mostly depression) but the same can be true for women too (though women tend to have a larger support system of people and friends to help mitigate it). Retirement is a - oftentimes - rapid and sudden shift in our self-identity and who we think we are in the world. Many times, we haven't quite prepared for that. Any time our view of self - who we think we are in the world - is challenged, it is a prime time for TMS to strike for it is at these times that we can have deep unconscious existential crises.

I suspect we'll actually find that TMS tends to correlate with life changes (retirement, marriage, new job, new child, death, moving, etc...) rather than age.

Please know that your healing can take time, and it often does for many people. Even clients with rapid reduction in symptoms have flare-ups weeks or months later during their healing process.

Best-

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Debra.

My TMS severe back pain didn't show up until I turned 80 !
I had no back pain before that.
I read Dr. Sarno and began journaling and realized I had been
repressing childhood anger all those years.

At 60 or older it's natural to think about aging and our mortality.
I always kind of put dying out of my mind. Now it's there a lot.

I did some googling and found lots of quotes from famous people
about mortality and it's helped a lot. Be positive, or forget it.
Distract yourself with pleasant thoughts and activities.

As for aging and pain, I like what Dr. Sarno says about back and other aches:
They're just "gray hairs" of the spine. They're part of nature, but gray hair is not painful.

 

[Waterbear]

Mine showed up at 28.

I honestly think the world just kicked my butt a little too much and my mind handled it with TMS.

I'm single, female and an artist. When the economy tanked, I lost my job, a really good job where I was paid well and respected. I got a new job where they treated me terribly and I could barely pay the bills. Then I lost that job when the whole company shut down. Then I got a contract job and they didn't renew it when it ended. By that time it had been about 2 years of hell and panic attacks and I had pain all over my body.

TMS distracted me from all that.

But time goes on and I've had a great job for 2 years now. I'm pain free most days and back to working out and drawing on my free time.

It gets better!

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Aging is the king of all triggers, and mortality is high on the Holmes-Raje. People often get rushed to the hospital on their birthdays. We rushed my mom to the hospital the day she turned 70. She ended up with shingles which is certainly a TMS effect. I've worked with many people who began experiencing severe pain syndromes on their birthday milestones of 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70...and of course our own Walt at 80. The syndromes also begin as the decade milestones near, as in 28, or 29.

We are far more enraged at the aging process than we consciously realize. It's deeply infuriating. A man that I wrote about in GPD who turned 70 couldn't even get up the steps due to pain. He told me that he couldn't admit to himself that he had turned 70, and that the site of his friends and family turning for the worse was more than he would accept. Once he surrendered to it, his pain left. He's now 86 I believe? And golfing.

The battle is in the mind alone. Satchel Page said, "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"

 

[DebraW]

Hey Debra,

We can't quite say when and how it shows up. Your intuition about retirement seems like an interesting thread to follow. In studies, we typically find that men have an increase in mental health symptoms upon retirement (mostly depression) but the same can be true for women too (though women tend to have a larger support system of people and friends to help mitigate it). Retirement is a - oftentimes - rapid and sudden shift in our self-identity and who we think we are in the world. Many times, we haven't quite prepared for that. Any time our view of self - who we think we are in the world - is challenged, it is a prime time for TMS to strike for it is at these times that we can have deep unconscious existential crises.

I suspect we'll actually find that TMS tends to correlate with life changes (retirement, marriage, new job, new child, death, moving, etc...) rather than age.

Please know that your healing can take time, and it often does for many people. Even clients with rapid reduction in symptoms have flare-ups weeks or months later during their healing process.

Best-

Hi Andrew
Thanks for your encouraging words, they're really helpful. I'm trying very hard not to put a timeline on myself. You read about others with instant success after reading one of Dr Sarnos books and start to think you're mentally weak or not doing things right. But I won't give up!

 

[DebraW]

Hi Andrew
Thanks for your encouraging words, they're really helpful. I'm trying very hard not to put a timeline on myself. You read about others with instant success after reading one of Dr Sarnos books and start to think you're mentally weak or not doing things right. But I won't give up!

Aging is the king of all triggers, and mortality is high on the Holmes-Raje. People often get rushed to the hospital on their birthdays. We rushed my mom to the hospital the day she turned 70. She ended up with shingles which is certainly a TMS effect. I've worked with many people who began experiencing severe pain syndromes on their birthday milestones of 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70...and of course our own Walt at 80. The syndromes also begin as the decade milestones near, as in 28, or 29.

We are far more enraged at the aging process than we consciously realize. It's deeply infuriating. A man that I wrote about in GPD who turned 70 couldn't even get up the steps due to pain. He told me that he couldn't admit to himself that he had turned 70, and that the site of his friends and family turning for the worse was more than he would accept. Once he surrendered to it, his pain left. He's now 86 I believe? And golfing.

The battle is in the mind alone. Satchel Page said, "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"

Dear Steve
Thank you so much for answering my post. I would love to share an experience with you regarding your book.
I've been in intense pain for a year and three months and found Dr. Sarnos books and bought them all. He said to get checked by a doctor to eliminate the possibility of disease, so I did that and was diagnosed with osteoarthritis. I've also been doing the Sep program. Your book was recommended in the list of TMS readings, so I bought it through Amazon. I was intrigued by the cover when I read the word "arthritis" there, thinking this book looks really interesting.
On day 29 of the sep program, I started reading your book. I couldn't put it down it was so amazing! Anyway, I was already a quarter of the way through the book and suddenly my pain disappeared! It was gone the entire day!
It did come back with a vengeance and is still there, but because it was gone for a day it told me it's possible to cure TMS.
I'd like to say I admire your incredible story, and your courage while being in pain all those years. It was a great inspiration to me, and I know many others as well. I loved your sense of humour, it made the book very entertaining as well as informative and I'm going to read it for a second time. Steve, you are the reason I am going to get better. You taught me many things, but most of all patience and understanding of myself when it comes to recovery. Thank you for your comments about retirement and "milestones," I'm pretty sure my ID is not too happy about getting older, it just wants to have fun as you said in your book. My best wishes and eternal thanks, you've touched the lives of so many, including me!
Hugs
Debra

 

[DebraW]

Mine showed up at 28.

I honestly think the world just kicked my butt a little too much and my mind handled it with TMS.

I'm single, female and an artist. When the economy tanked, I lost my job, a really good job where I was paid well and respected. I got a new job where they treated me terribly and I could barely pay the bills. Then I lost that job when the whole company shut down. Then I got a contract job and they didn't renew it when it ended. By that time it had been about 2 years of hell and panic attacks and I had pain all over my body.

TMS distracted me from all that.

But time goes on and I've had a great job for 2 years now. I'm pain free most days and back to working out and drawing on my free time.

It gets better!

Thanks waterbear, I'm so glad you're feeling better. I'm an artist too. A painter mostly; I taught art to high school kids for 35 years. It's hard to do any art right now which is such a drag!
Hugs
Debra

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Thanks for sharing your story Debra, and for the kind words. Many interesting things happening there.

First, osteoarthritis doesn't cause pain. But there are other types of arthritis that are incredibly painful. The docs will argue over which ones are TMS and which are not but it's clear that most are from a unconscious forces, although diet and exercise can be triggers or factors.

Second, I've heard quite a number of times that the pain suddenly disappeared while reading my book. But what's really interesting is the words "returned with a vengeance." Those are the very words I used in the book to describe what happened to me. I've often wondered if I didn't plant that guided image, guaranteeing that it would return. The internal language and imagery is what causes the effects. What we observe and expect is what does the damage because they are our future. This is why the doctors are doing such great harm.

Just know that if your pain left you for a day that it can leave you forever. When I read that you've only had pain for about a year I think how fortunate you are. Most that contact me have had it most of their lives, or I would guess on average between 5-7 years. But that doesn't diminish your own suffering. Pain is a very personal thing. You created your pain for your own specific reason. Only you can get rid of it.

Are you in England? I see that you spelled humor with the extra u. But the rest of the post looked Americanized. I can tell an email from the other side of the ocean when they use the word "whilst." You don't hear that here but it's part of the daily nomenclature there. Speaking of humor I'm glad you enjoyed it in the book. I hesitated on using it but then decided to be myself. TMS comes from not being true to yourself. So I would have been a hypocrite not to have done so. I love humor or humour, or Hue Moore.

You will heal. But you have to never make the mistake of trying to heal. It's the biggest mistake people make. You are going to heal when you no longer care when you heal. No matter how many times I say that, people still say, "I don't care when I heal, but when is the pain going away??"

Be well DebraW, no matter where you are. Keep an eye out for my new book, hopefully in the spring. Stay in touch, I want to know how you do, it's important to me.

Be good, and if you can't be good, be really really bad.

SteveO

 

[DebraW]

Thanks for sharing your story Debra, and for the kind words. Many interesting things happening there.

First, osteoarthritis doesn't cause pain. But there are other types of arthritis that are incredibly painful. The docs will argue over which ones are TMS and which are not but it's clear that most are from a unconscious forces, although diet and exercise can be triggers or factors.

Second, I've heard quite a number of times that the pain suddenly disappeared while reading my book. But what's really interesting is the words "returned with a vengeance." Those are the very words I used in the book to describe what happened to me. I've often wondered if I didn't plant that guided image, guaranteeing that it would return. The internal language and imagery is what causes the effects. What we observe and expect is what does the damage because they are our future. This is why the doctors are doing such great harm.

Just know that if your pain left you for a day that it can leave you forever. When I read that you've only had pain for about a year I think how fortunate you are. Most that contact me have had it most of their lives, or I would guess on average between 5-7 years. But that doesn't diminish your own suffering. Pain is a very personal thing. You created your pain for your own specific reason. Only you can get rid of it.

Are you in England? I see that you spelled humor with the extra u. But the rest of the post looked Americanized. I can tell an email from the other side of the ocean when they use the word "whilst." You don't hear that here but it's part of the daily nomenclature there. Speaking of humor I'm glad you enjoyed it in the book. I hesitated on using it but then decided to be myself. TMS comes from not being true to yourself. So I would have been a hypocrite not to have done so. I love humor or humour, or Hue Moore.

You will heal. But you have to never make the mistake of trying to heal. It's the biggest mistake people make. You are going to heal when you no longer care when you heal. No matter how many times I say that, people still say, "I don't care when I heal, but when is the pain going away??"

Be well DebraW, no matter where you are. Keep an eye out for my new book, hopefully in the spring. Stay in touch, I want to know how you do, it's important to me.

Be good, and if you can't be good, be really really bad.

SteveO

Hi Steve
Thanks for more words of wisdom! I read everything that you write very carefully, there's so much to learn from you. As I said, my hours of pain relief came after reading your book, so that was a huge step forward and proof of TMS. I put the book down jumped high in the air and shouted YES! I knew it! SteveO is the man!
I'm not from across the pond, I am actually Canadian, the great white north!
A new book? I can't wait to get it. Please let everyone know when and I'll be the first in line for it!
Thanks for your genuine concern and I can't wait for the day when I'll write back and say my pain is completely gone. I WILL get there. I'll try to be good on the way but have lots of fun too.
Hugs
Debra

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Debra, how did you find out about my book, was it from Viva magazine in Canada? Or from here?

Forget about your pain, live how you want, don't ever consider it when going to do anything, don't think about how long it will take to fade, don't think about whether you can do this or that, don't allow it to enter your consciousness beyond getting inside of it to see what it's trying to tell you.

Ignore it on the physical end by never considering it before, during, or after movement. But, listen to it on the psychological end by allowing it, listening to it, and accepting it as part of you, something you have created for a specific purpose. Don't fight it or you give it power over you. Battling it, and fighting it, and trying to conquer it are like spinach to Popeye. It only gives your pain strength, and huge forearms.

I look forward to the day that you no longer even think of pain, and have purged it from your conscious thinking. Be patient... time is your friend. Then call me and we'll celebrate together, twas like 1799!

 

[mdh157]

Aging is the king of all triggers, and mortality is high on the Holmes-Raje. People often get rushed to the hospital on their birthdays. Many people who began experiencing severe pain syndromes on their birthday milestones of 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70...and of course our own Walt at 80. The syndromes also begin as the decade milestones near, as in 28, or 29.

We are far more enraged at the aging process than we consciously realize. It's deeply infuriating.

Funny you mention this Steve - I was in seemingly perfect health until my physical problems/worrying started @ the age of 39. It's been one thing after another ever since. Life used to be great, now I can't enjoy anything.

 

[DebraW]

Debra, how did you find out about my book, was it from Viva magazine in Canada? Or from here?

Forget about your pain, live how you want, don't ever consider it when going to do anything, don't think about how long it will take to fade, don't think about whether you can do this or that, don't allow it to enter your consciousness beyond getting inside of it to see what it's trying to tell you.

Ignore it on the physical end by never considering it before, during, or after movement. But, listen to it on the psychological end by allowing it, listening to it, and accepting it as part of you, something you have created for a specific purpose. Don't fight it or you give it power over you. Battling it, and fighting it, and trying to conquer it are like spinach to Popeye. It only gives your pain strength, and huge forearms.

I look forward to the day that you no longer even think of pain, and have purged it from your conscious thinking. Be patient... time is your friend. Then call me and we'll celebrate together, twas like 1799!

Hi Steve
I found out about your new book through this website. You had mentioned it in an earlier post. I can't wait to read it. I hope it comes out very soon.
You are such an awesome writer, and Steve I am your biggest fan. I have been telling all my friends with pain who know nothing about TMS to get your book and read it. I'm going to buy another copy for my 84 and 86 year old parents.
I'm taking your words to heart and moving and working through the pain no matter what. It's part of me, yes I don't know why, but sometime it will leave just as it came. I sure don't want Popeye arms!
I can't wait to celebrate with you. It will be your triumph and mine, and will be the best day of my life (with more to come)!
Hugs
Debra