Hi Felipe and
@Ithurts,
This is a post I did in August. Thought it might help you. I have little flare ups here and there but returned to work doing massage therapy 2 weeks ago. 4.5 hours of massage the first week, only the first massage hurt my arm, but the rest of the week, the tools I've learned from this wiki, meditation, and journaling really have helped immensely. Last week a little flare up, but no problem, it didn't stop me from massage--
After a 6 month battle with “tendinosis” I am now 95% with all activities no pain, and winning the battle. I couldn’t be happier. It took a while to accept TMS, but am so happy that I had to make a choice—to put faith and courage in myself and intuition, and let go of what the doctors have said.
7+ months ago, while I was working on a massage client, I felt a sharp pain in my right forearm. The anxiety and fear around the pain increased, as half of my income was from working as a massage therapist. I tried working through the pain, but it only intensified. I sought out two doctors and an MRI, which revealed nothing. A third doctor diagnosed me with
Tendonitis/tendinosis of my thumb and forearm extensors.
I was devastated, depressed and anxious. A few months prior to the injury, I had just graduated from a 5 year master degree program and was just starting my practice and business. From this injury, I lost all of my massage clients, and half of my income. The anxiety and
Depression, as well as the shame that I couldn’t heal myself was hard.
I did PT but many times just felt worse afterwards. The only thing that helped was wearing a wrist brace, and I wore that pretty consistently for 6 months. I also tried acupuncture, massage, herbs, ultrasound, tens/estim, cortisone, and finally found Dr. Sarno. His theories made sense to me. 10 years prior to this, in my mid 20’s, I had constant medically unexplained throat pain for 2 years, then followed by unexplained
Shoulder, wrist and ankle pain for 8 months. Finally my doctor at the time sent me to a Mind Body Stress Reduction course. Thank god. It was my first exposure to mindfulness and meditation. Eventually the throat and joint pain cleared. Needless to say, Sarno’s theories made sense to me with this bout of forearm pain, and I wanted to believe badly, that this “injury” was psychological in nature because recovering from tendinosis would be incredibly difficult according to research, and the doctor and physical therapist told me I would never be able to go back to doing massage therapy.
In my mind, I switched back in forth between this being a physical injury and a mind-body, or psychosomatic condition. Once I would convince myself it was psychosomatic, I would go a few days totally pain free. Then I would push myself too much, do a lot of forearm and thumb extension and “reinjure” myself. The pain would flare up again and I would return to the battle in my mind, and the wrist brace.
A month ago, the night of my birthday, I woke up at 3 am with bad shoulder pain on the left side of my body. I couldn’t lift my
Arm or bend my
Elbow without a lot of pain 7/10. The doctor quickly diagnosed me with biceps tendonitis. Even I was convinced it was, as the pain had showed up a few weeks prior while swimming (though when it first appeared I was convinced it was TMS because I had read about the moving of pain in Sarno’s books, and would tell the pain to go away and it would.)
Finally after battling with this pain in my left shoulder for 3 weeks, and at some point reinjuring my right forearm again and not having any use of my arms for about a week, I realized something. The night my shoulder pain really started and persisted, my preteen stepdaughter chose not to wish me happy birthday. I tried to tell myself that it was ok, and just let it go, but inside I was deeply hurt and disappointed. I made this realization at night, and by the next morning, the shoulder pain was completely gone. 100%.
After this, I am now mostly convinced my forearm pain,
RSI and tendinosis is TMS. It’s been hard to 100% accept because there is no
TMS doctor in Hawaii. I started seeing a psychologist about 2 months ago at a chronic pain clinic, because of the inkling this was a psychological issue, but he continued to focus on my “physical” injuries and helping me cope with that. My intuition told me otherwise, and as I gain the courage within myself to not rely on the doctors, physical therapists and psychologist for a TMS diagnosis, I find myself growing stronger everyday with more and more pain reduction. Right now I’m at about 95%. (But believe me, a week ago, taking off that wrist brace for the very last time caused quite the pain flare!).
I’m not pushing myself to be 100%. It seems counterintuitive. I would love to get back to massage but am accepting myself where I’m at and in this process. I am actually thankful this happened, because as an acupuncturist and massage therapist, I now have a deeper understanding of the mind, the spirit and the body. I would agree with Sarno that what is commonly diagnosed as physical injuries in the body are just manifestations of psychological pain and suffering. I see it so much in my own patients I treat with acupuncture and am saddened I cannot approach this subject with many of them. So now I just need the tools to be able to do so… I think I will be going back to school to get my master’s in mental health counseling
I will check back in soon and let you all know how I’m doing. Take care and be strong everyone!!
Aloha, Andrea