This question was submitted via our Ask a TMS Therapist program. To submit your question, click here. Question Thank you for offering this wonderful service. I am a regular here but need anonymity given the sensitive nature of my question. I will keep an eye out for any follow up questions. I have long suspected the root for much of my TMS is because I was horribly raped and beaten by a stranger when I was 13. I'm not sure what was worse….the event or the gossip of the small town or my family's silence. (Mom did tell me she was proud of how strong I was. This was the extent of any emotional help I received. She also told me that I needed to be careful because "it could happen again." Yeah, that was really helpful.) A very small solace was the fact that because I reported this to the police, they were able to grab the bastard when he was stalking out his next victim. In journaling, I realize a huge issue is how I've hated myself for not running when I had the chance. The signs were all there and when he started attacking me, my fight/flight/freeze reaction was FREEZE. I can't even express how difficult it is for me to type these words. It was only recently that I told my husband of many years more specifics of what happened. (He knew I had been raped but not the extent.) I'm not sure if telling him was helpful or not. He tends to shut down when he can't handle things and is unable to offer much encouragement. (Mind you, his heart is in the right place and I know he loves me very much. He did tell me he wanted to go kill the guy.) I have told very few people about this; the shame is still great and its still just to damn painful, even decades after the event. I have walked through many forgiveness exercises over the years. I suspect there's a lot of rage there but I feel numb inside when I think about it. I've compartmentalized it for so long it just sits there like a dusty reference book high on a library's shelf. Can you help me understand how this has played a role in my severe TMS? I think Dr. Sarno would send me to a therapist but I am just not able to do that right now so please know I greatly appreciate any insight you can give me. Now for the tough part…hitting "submit". Thanks!