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'Tis the season for TMS

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by North Star, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Last night we attended a small Christmas party with a handful of couples. It was a lovely evening and of particular interest to me was my observations through the lens of TMS.

    Probably half, HALF, of the discussions revolved around health challenges. Who was having what surgery. What surgeon's were the best. And all this interrupted by barking/hacking fits of a sweet lady. ("Bronchitis. I get it EVERY YEAR at this time, cough, cough.")

    I gently tested the waters for TMS receptivity for one poor woman boasting a track record that would rival SteveO's. There was none (receptivity) and the conversation went on about her next upcoming surgery. ("The doctors aren't even sure what's wrong!" she said.)

    It illustrated to me the depth to what we humans will go to in order to avoid transparency and vulnerability...real connection with one another. And maybe even more so...with our true selves. And most don't realize it. I was especially thinking about that with that nasty cough. Was it Sarno who said the "cough" because the socially acceptable way to express rage?

    In the meanwhile, I seem to have had some more triggers set off some TMS symptoms so I've been spending much of the morning in reflection. But I think it's now time for some "Walt" therapy...go have a good laugh, that is. (I am thankful for your sage advice, Walt!) tiphata
    Eric "Herbie" Watson, G.R. and Ellen like this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    North Star, I loved your post. If those people at the party only knew what really ails them! The "cougher" especially.

    You probably got a lot of pain triggers listening to the symptoms everyone shared.

    Coughing as a way of expressing rage is a thing to laugh about in itself.

    Let me share two photos I took last night of Annie. She loves looking out our front window for doggies to be walked by,
    but it's very cold and snowy so she doesn't see any. I like to think she's looking for Santa.

    Happy ho ho!

    annie at window 2.jpg

    Attached Files:

    lauren4235 and G.R. like this.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I can't seem to post this photo. H annie at window 3.jpg ope it comes up,
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

  5. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Awwwwww...would love to scratch behind her ears! What a sweetie. Just like her master...but I won't try to scratch behind your ears. ;)

    It never even occurred to me that my flare up was triggered by all the medical chatter. The one woman went on at great length about her shoulder and that has been one of my louder TMS symptoms. Shortly after I read your comment, I turned back to Steve's book, which I am rereading, and read about empathy triggers. (I tend to be on the empathetic side.) Bingo! The tension is slowly dissipating.

    Another observation - the placebo treatment talks were an education in itself. If I was a charlatan, I could fabricate some ridiculous "cure" (here, take this magic stick and wave it over your head 15 times a day for 5 days,) and probably become fabulously wealthy.

    *wanders off to contemplate the Magic Stick Cure*:greedy:
    nowtimecoach and Lily Rose like this.
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, Annie is a real sweetie. She loves having me scratch behind her ears, but also above her tail.

    Don't tell your husband, but consider yourself hugged.

    Tonight on PBS in Chicago is a Carol Burnett Christmas special, at her mother's house.
    That ought to be a riot! I wonder who will be the biggest Scrooge!
  7. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hug received! Fortunately, hubby's not the jealous type over hugs. :) Actually, I've told him about you and how much I enjoy our friendship.

    On PBS here tonight, it's Downton Abbey reruns. Getting everyone ready for the new season in January. What was that old movie you recommended the other day…it was on Netflix. I meant to put it in my queue and now I can't remember the names!

    Carol Burnett is wonderful. I grew up watching her.
  8. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Labs are so "human"
    North Star likes this.
  9. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    My Annie has more smarts and personality than most people I know (TMSWiki people excluded).
    Lily Rose likes this.
  10. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    I feel the same way, Walt. Somedays, I'd like to go live on the moon…I just get weary of people interactions!
  11. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    The Moon is my planetary body (astrologically) but I've always been partial to Jupiter (intellectually). It has so many intriguing features and swirly colors.

    We are on the couch. My husband is reading. Lucy is curled up between us, and I am here on the computer. A fire is burning in the wood stove. I'm weary, but I am content. In a little while, I will go into 'my' music room to practice the piano. We have spent 18 month reconstructing this once-abandoned house. My music room has a daybed, my piano, a digital keyboard, two guitars, a Gm native flute, an Am dual native flute, and a drum. The ceiling fan is in rainbow colors. A young friend (11 years old) laughed in delight seeing it. A grown up choosing a child's ceiling fan!

    I have been browsing posts, just taking in the words. It is nice to be here.

    North Star, do you have room to share Walt? He is utterly wonderful! Annie is a very lucky girl.

    with grace and gratitude,
    Eric "Herbie" Watson and G.R. like this.
  12. nancy

    nancy Well known member

    Annie is gorgeous, such kindness in her eyes. I am not willing to share Walt! Ha! Ha! You too
    are so very special, your advice is priceless. Fondly, Nancy
  13. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Uh oh! Girl fight over in aisle 3! Now look at what you're causing Walt. :joyful: We must learn to share our treasured friend.

    Lily Rose, I am a musician too. Piano and guitar but I especially love singing. When I was a kid, I never met an instrument I didn't like and dabbled in several. With three kids at home, it takes great effort to carve a little quiet place in my head…much less a room in the house! But that's okay. My babies are growing up and I do so very much enjoy them. (When I'm not ready to exile them to a distant land. haha) My house is frequently bustling with my kids and their friends…there is nothing like eavesdropping in on their conversations and quirky sense of humor. Their fresh insight on life often marvels me.

    Walt…I hope you're feeling all the love. It's clear there many here who are quite fond of you.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  14. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    North Star, I too had a little gathering at my home this Monday with three of my girlfriends. I was amazed
    that two of them had lower back pain. I have tried several times to explain TMS/mind/body to them but
    they have not shown real interest. They both are seeing chiropractors. I think it is only a small few who
    could really accept a TMS diagnosis. I think people are more apt to accept TMS when they have tried
    everything else. But I have to say it took me a long time to understand the different aspects of TMS;
    so I guess sometimes it is a process!!

    I am not a musician and sing off key but I have decided to take guitar lessons as a soothing factor.
    And I plan to sing whether I am off key or not. I think playing an instrument is probably very therapeutic.

    North Star, enjoy having your house full of kids. It sounds wonderful to me, especially since my children
    are in their early 20's and out of the house. I just love a full house so I am trying to fill my home with friends
    and family. Enjoy every moment of your children and their friends. You are surely blessed!!!!!!
  15. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    Walt, Annie is just beautiful and her personality definitely comes through her photos. Thank you so
    much for sharing. It makes me love my two dogs even more!!!
  16. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    Lily Rose, I just loved reading your post. The picture you painted made me feel very peaceful and
    helped me appreciate this season in my life when I am not really working and I could just
    sit on my couch with the fireplace blazing being cozy and reading whatever I want. Sometimes, I get
    so frustrated because I want to be doing so much more physically but I am realizing for whatever
    reason my body does not want to; so I am going to be patient and just enjoy this season!! I am learning
    to be in the present and enjoy life. Thank you for all your poetic posts; they surely speak to me.
    North Star and Lily Rose like this.
  17. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    At my age, it's rejuvenating to have two such beautiful ladies tug-o-warring over me like Annie and her
    next-door best friend Lucie over a bone.

    You simply have to learn to share. It relieves TMS.

    Hey, I'm enjoying you both, and Nancy and others posting.

    Lily Rose, your music room must be wonderful. I've tried several times to learn to play the piano
    by reading notes, but just couldn't coordinate the chords with the theme notes.

    GR, your girlfriends ought to at least give TMS a try, in addition to chiropractic.
    I suggested TMS today to neighbors but it was like teaching them a foreign language.
    They're a couple in their early 60s and both are worriers and newsaholics.
    Very depressing to be around, so I make the visits short and only once a week.
    They won't change, and I figure they're people who enjoy being unhappy.
    Not for me!

    Our weather is going to be cold, snow, freezing rain starting tomorrow.
    I'm having two couples here over the holidays, one at a time on different evenings,
    and decided this year to ask them to come to my house. I'm not keen on driving or
    walking on snow or ice. They both said fine. So it will be easy on me.

    Hope the holidays are easy on you all.

    Thanks for the friendly posts. I feel like I won the lottery (even though I don't play).
    Neither does Annie.
    North Star and Lily Rose like this.
  18. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    May I suggest that before you pay for lessons (unless finances aren't an issue) that you do some things prior to the lessons. It takes some time to build up the muscle strength and muscle memory, so practicing with chords and chord changes can give you a head start on lesson. There are basic chords that should be learned, and combination of chords practiced for the transitions between them. If you are unfamiliar with basic music theory and the Keys, I can give you some information to get you going.

    I have only been singing for the last few years. Literally. I was always told I couldn't sing because my mom and brother couldn't carry a tune (they had ear problems). Also, I simply wasn't brave enough to raise my voice louder than a soft monotone. This was also a result of being trained not to raise my voice. Our mom would not permit any childish yelling. Now it has backfired on her .... my brother and I speak low and even, and she has massive scar tissue on her eardrum from ruptures. She can't hear us! Anyway, from all this, my fear of singing and moving my voice range was quite difficult to overcome. What really made a difference was singing into a mic and hearing myself outside my head. When we sing, we hear inside our eardrums. When we sing into a mic, we hear ourselves in relation to our instrument and other voices. This is how I began to train myself. My nephew had discarded a small Fender Junior Dec amplifier (with cool effects!). It became my most valuable tool. Often I used headphones so I could shut out the world, and just hear me and my guitar. I could align my voice with the tones.

    You think you sing off key. It is very possible that training will correct that. The voice is just another set of muscles. They require constant exercise to remain fit and strong.

    Singing is also very emotional. Another reason it is challenging for me. I have taken such great care all of my life to keep my emotions inward. Singing can, without warning, cause tears. Very much like Yoga can. Do not be alarmed if that occurs. It is simply a release of toxins ....

    If you wish any assistance or advice on starting the guitar, I would, with pleasure, offer some tools to begin your journey.

    with grace and gratitude,
    North Star likes this.
  19. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    *smiles* You should not begin playing the piano by reading the notes. As infants, we play with our toys before we even conceive there is a way to spell them. We play music. Yes, there is work involved, but still ... think in terms of play.

    De-mystifying the piano is how I begin students.

    There are only SEVEN notes on the piano. They simply repeat themselves in different octaves ... and there are ways to sharpen or flatten each note.

    Always start by learning C first. Looking at the black keys, there are groups of 2 and 3. The C is located on the first white key on the left of the 2-group. Get your eyes used to that and run all over the keyboard finding the C's.

    That is just the beginning. Perhaps you already know all that already.

    Reading the notes is for a little later. First ... play time!

    with grace and gratitude,
  20. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    I'll share ..... always.

    I don't play many instruments, but I understand and can interpret how to play. This allows me to teach instruments that I don't necessarily have any mastery over. I teach people to teach themselves, providing the tools and concepts.

    Are your kids at all interested in music? It is a lovely way to bond. You bring lovely images to mind.

    with grace and gratitude,
    North Star likes this.

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