Tips on return to work

[Rosebud1941]

Hello, I'm returning to work today after 3 months off sick. I'm experiencing huge anxiety all obviously related to pain. It's silly really because in all the time I was off I rarely had a day where I wasn't feeling ok. I originally had time off because in the last year the pain levels from what I thought was pudendal neuralgia were so bad I thought a few weeks off would manage it. Last year I did read and watched videos of Dan Buglio which were a light bulb moment for me. But I did turn off that light bulb because I couldn't work out how it worked. I desperately wanted a proper mainstream physical condition. While I was off I was so depressed I just googled everything and had daily chats with AI. I had so many chats I referred to AI as 'she'!
But watching Dan and then looking through this particular site I became convinced TMS was what I had.
So now I'm going back to work where actually all this started with bad pain, couldn't sit, anxiety through the roof. I want to go back. I do short hours anyway and I can't stop life sitting at home. But I'm going back to where the problem is (or is it?). So I've now woken up with that heavy sensation in my 'bits'! And anxiety. Not good. When I was at home I could manage it. But is that an excuse? If it's TMS I can manage it in a different environment too can't i? It's just that I am nervous because I had the comfort of my home and my own decisions as to how I was going to spend my day.
Actually I did a couple of long walks around London in the past two days. With PN advice you are told if it hurts don't go out. Well that would mean I would never leave the house. I was also advised not to do pilates but I've decided to do those too. The walk was painful but I had my music and chat in my ears and enjoyed the outside.
Any tips would be most welcome.

 

[BloodMoon]

I suffered with PN-like pain, which was mind-body/TMS.

Any tips would be most welcome.

When you go to the loo, relax your shoulders and take a little bit of time to yourself to do some slow breathing, lengthen your out breaths.

See also what I say here about what helped me: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/my-pelvic-pain-is-tms.33392/#post-170324

Suggest also doing the following (no one will know you're doing it): https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/5-second-safety-technique-stop-hypervigilance-tension.33522/

 

[Rosebud1941]

Thank you for those tips.
I was doing the the diaphramatic (have i spelt it right) breathing on my sick leave. But i wasnt stressed at home! Well not as much as at work.
I'm at work now. Hurting like mad. Part of me thinks how can i manage this to everything is fine. All things will pass!
I had very nice welcome back from staff and residents. So i'm trying to tell myself that i am liked instead of the 'i've failed all my life' thoughts.
I dont even need to work full time either.
How do you relax shoulders though
I'm sure i dont hunch up. Or maybe i do.

 

[BloodMoon]

How do you relax shoulders though

Suggest performing shoulder rolls (forward and backward) for 30-45 seconds and to shrug your shoulders up to your ears and then let them go, and when you're on the loo let your arms dangle down by your sides for, again for 30-35 seconds. Most people have at least some tension in their shoulders, but even if you don't particularly, doing a few shrugs and shoulder rolls adds variety to your body positioning, especially if your job is mainly desk bound, and the brain tends to like that.

So i'm trying to tell myself that i am liked instead of the 'i've failed all my life' thoughts.

Not sure what you've done mind-body/TMS work-wise, but sounds to me like you'd benefit from doing some 'what's great about me' journaling...

Some ways of doing that...

1. The "Daily Wins" Method
Instead of waiting for a huge achievement, focus on small daily successes to appreciate your efforts.

• Today I was successful at... (e.g., sticking to a routine, managing stress).
• I'm proud of myself for... (e.g., finishing a task, being kind to someone).
• One thing I did well today was... (e.g., listening to a colleague, navigating a difficult situation).

2. The "3-2-1" Positivity Method
A structured approach to focus on your strengths, insights, and future-self.

• 3 Things I am grateful for about myself/my life: (e.g., my creativity, my friends).
• 2 Lessons/Insights from today: (e.g., "I realized I am more patient than I thought").
• 1 Intention for tomorrow: (e.g., "I will treat myself with compassion").

3. Deep Dive: "What I Love About Me" Prompts
Answer these questions to explore your character and personality traits.

• What are three things I am genuinely good at?
• When have I been brave recently?
• What is a personality trait I love about myself?
• What is a nice thing someone said to me recently?
• What is a challenge I overcame?
• What are my favourite physical features?
• How does my smile or personality brighten someone's day?

4. The "Kindness" Letter
Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a best friend. List all the reasons why you are admirable and lovable.

Why This Works

• Rewires the Brain: It helps shift focus away from self-criticism to celebrating your achievements and qualities.
• Provides Perspective: It helps you view yourself with compassion, similar to how you would view a friend's struggles.
• Manages Anxiety: It provides a positive focus and a reminder of your strengths during difficult times.

Tips for Success:

• Be Specific: Instead of "I'm nice," write "I was kind when I listened to my friend's problems today."
• Be Over the Top: Don't be afraid to be fully confident in your journal.
• Re-read: Re-read these entries when you feel down to remind yourself of your worth.

 

[Rosebud1941]

This all sounds really good for me. Thank you. I discovered TMS last year. I didnt know how it happened but Dan Buglio turned up on my laptop - well not literally! - and it was a real eye opener for me. But its taken me some time to look at it seriously.
And then i found this. Its good to have such wonderful support.

 

[BloodMoon]

You're welcome, @Rosebud1941!

I'm from England too btw

In case you didn't know, there are some free mind-body programs on the TMSWiki that you could do, details in this posting here: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threa...-resources-during-the-home-page-outage.33394/ FYI, out of those programs most people start with the SEP.

 

[Rosebud1941]

Thank you for all of this information. Lots of stuff to do but I'm looking forward to it. I've just got home from work. Really bad pain. Manager has given me shifts and combined leave I didn't take so its kind of phased back to work. I'm a support worker so there is a rota. It is difficult to get into mindset that I am ok when the pain sets in! I mentioned TMS to colleagues at work thinking they would be a bit scathing but they really showed an interest and thought there is definitely something in how our brain is wired.

Are you an ex pat Brit?!

The other thing is (a bit off topic) but back in 2020 I started getting flares and pain and kept being given antibiotics. I had a bit of a pension pot at the time so I had scans done privately. But it got worse. Then I emailed a consultant in Harley Street who said it sounds like IC. I went to see him and he said he could cure it and told me the costs. I asked my NHS GP and he hadnt heard of it and said it would be a long wait (covid). So I went privately. I was given a cystoscopy. I was then shown the image of what was Hunners lesions. I then had the weekly treatment when you have bladder basted. Consultant said I would be cured in 12 weeks. By 10th week he suggested having more treatment. I said I had run out of money. He then proceeded to make my partner feel guilty because he said if he loved me he would do anything!!
Anyway I had all my records transferred to NHS. During the long wait I was having awful pain. I had stopped working (caring for mum) so had lots of time on my hands and I started doing huge walks. I felt like I had a pine cone stuck up me but I carried on. While waiting actually I did end up in A&E where they just gave me antiobiotics and at one time the pysch team came to see me because I said I felt like ending it all. Then slowly over the months my pain completely disappeared. I'm wondering if it was partly TMS by that stage but I hadnt heard of it. I had a second cystoscopy eventually and it apparently was clear. I was completely fine for some months then I got what they decided was pelvic floor dysfunction. The rest is history.
So what I'm wondering is that I've heard IC is TMS but can it also be a proper diagnosed condition as he showed me the Hunners lesions. I did at one point think he'd doctored the image!
Sorry I've rambled on a bit.

 

[Rabscuttle]

Thank you for all of this information. Lots of stuff to do but I'm looking forward to it. I've just got home from work. Really bad pain. Manager has given me shifts and combined leave I didn't take so its kind of phased back to work. I'm a support worker so there is a rota. It is difficult to get into mindset that I am ok when the pain sets in! I mentioned TMS to colleagues at work thinking they would be a bit scathing but they really showed an interest and thought there is definitely something in how our brain is wired.

Are you an ex pat Brit?!

The other thing is (a bit off topic) but back in 2020 I started getting flares and pain and kept being given antibiotics. I had a bit of a pension pot at the time so I had scans done privately. But it got worse. Then I emailed a consultant in Harley Street who said it sounds like IC. I went to see him and he said he could cure it and told me the costs. I asked my NHS GP and he hadnt heard of it and said it would be a long wait (covid). So I went privately. I was given a cystoscopy. I was then shown the image of what was Hunners lesions. I then had the weekly treatment when you have bladder basted. Consultant said I would be cured in 12 weeks. By 10th week he suggested having more treatment. I said I had run out of money. He then proceeded to make my partner feel guilty because he said if he loved me he would do anything!!
Anyway I had all my records transferred to NHS. During the long wait I was having awful pain. I had stopped working (caring for mum) so had lots of time on my hands and I started doing huge walks. I felt like I had a pine cone stuck up me but I carried on. While waiting actually I did end up in A&E where they just gave me antiobiotics and at one time the pysch team came to see me because I said I felt like ending it all. Then slowly over the months my pain completely disappeared. I'm wondering if it was partly TMS by that stage but I hadnt heard of it. I had a second cystoscopy eventually and it apparently was clear. I was completely fine for some months then I got what they decided was pelvic floor dysfunction. The rest is history.
So what I'm wondering is that I've heard IC is TMS but can it also be a proper diagnosed condition as he showed me the Hunners lesions. I did at one point think he'd doctored the image!
Sorry I've rambled on a bit.

Just because there are Hunner’s lesions doesn’t mean the root cause isn’t TMS/chronic stress/nervous system dysfunction. I see this thinking a lot in this space where if they found x then it’s not TMS. TMS is at its core nervous system dysfunction, for many they are stuck in fight or flight. I had chronic gastritis diagnosed via biopsy, I’ve had several verifiable physical issues that turned chronic that I’ve made massive improvements with. If your body isn’t acting optimally ( which chronic stress is going to cause) then it’s completely within the realm of possibility that the immune system will be dysfunctional and cause various issues including chronic inflammation. Combine that with the obsession we give the symptoms and of course the brain is going to direct the immune system to remain active in specific areas. Even if what you have is not TMS, what good is chronic stress, obsession and subsequent treatment of yourself like utter shit going to accomplish? Treat yourself well and give your body a chance to normalize.

the ‘modern’ medical model has a bad habit of not linking chronic stress to many ailments.

and yes returning to work was among the most terrifying things I’ve done. And some days it’s still a struggle but I’ve made the largest progress because I’ve challenged myself and returned to work. To put myself back out there and try to get my life together. I cannot stress this enough how much positive internal self talk during challenging moments (really you should do it all the time) has helped me during work struggles. Because it is so easy to feel the panic and feeling of being trapped when you’re not home, resist those thoughts, praise yourself for this step. You need to be your best friend, your own hero, the ally in your corner.

also want to add this, I work with animals, it is common for cats to get interstitial cystitis (commonly called stress cystitis as the root cause is almost always chronic anxiety and stress). Urinalysis will show no bacteria but white blood cells (inflammation) and there may even be blood in the urine from the inflammation. I cannot emphasize enough that just because there is inflammation it doesn’t mean the root isn’t in dysfunctional living.

 

[Rosebud1941]

You write so eloquently and what you say makes perfect sense. thank you. Pre covid and the run up was a terrible time for me. I was constantly stressed and woke up feeling like i was going to die.
Despite my painful first day i was just talking to my sister and she said i sounded really happy. I said its my mindset beginning to work and this pain will end!

 

[BloodMoon]

Are you an ex pat Brit?!

No, I'm here in England.

I had a second cystoscopy eventually and it apparently was clear. I was completely fine for some months then I got what they decided was pelvic floor dysfunction.

Well, getting the 'all clear' is good news for proceeding and treating your symptoms as mind-body/TMS because so called 'pelvic floor dysfunction' is precisely that.

I was offered botox for my 'pfd', but declined... In order to treat a supposedly imbalanced pelvic floor they paralyse some of the muscles - no thank you... and reading that some people can't poop for ages afterwards because of the botox spreading to other muscles, really didn't sound like an inviting risk/prospect to me!

Then slowly over the months my pain completely disappeared.

A really good pointer to it being mind-body/TMS. You're in the right place .

 

[Rosebud1941]

That botox sounds very painful. Honestly once they get hold of our bodies they love mucking around with them.

I'm in London, where are you?

And how do you select bits of text?

 

[Mani]

That botox sounds very painful. Honestly once they get hold of our bodies they love mucking around with them.

I'm in London, where are you?

And how do you select bits of text?

select the text you want to reply to and press reply right beneath it

 

[Rosebud1941]

Ok thanks