Tinnitus and triggering physical activities

I was all set t have a fantastic Thanksgiving and I rose early to do TMS exercises and meditate. I ordered food this year to reduce stress and was feeling great even singing in the shower! Then when I reached to take the turkey out of the oven I tweaked something in my upper back and my hands started w pins and needles (I have no nerve damage but it is all over my body). I was so freaked out! At dinner my tinnitus peaked and I had nerve pain all over nearly ruining my dinner party. I let it all happen and enjoyed myself despite it all but cried when everyone left. I’ve been having awful insomnia and panic attacks (unusual for me even thou I am going off of benzos!). I was so mad for taking the heavy pot out of the oven but I did it w confidence only later noticing the kickback. Just now I fell asleep in the car w my legs crossed and my whole leg is bothering me! I feel sick to my stomach that this won’t go away. It is the anniversary of my friends death but frankly w all the trauma in my life it could be a new thing every day as the source for the pain! My ears are off the hook as I write this and I am otherwise relaxed, or was. All these things are so disheartening. The symptoms started out of the blue after straining my back and although I know they’re aggravated by stress but they cause stress! How does anyone else handle raging tinnitus or symptoms that seem to have a direct cause of a physical movement????!!! I think I could handle back pain but nerves are the worst and tinnitus is a close second. It’s hard to rub cream all over my body or jump in a bathtub and ringing is hard to turn down. I wear headphones w masking noise and I tell myself to keep moving but this is so screamingly unfair. I miss just BEiNG without having to work through these things. I miss spontaneous joy. Sitting back and relaxing and having a conversation w friends without hiding the pain and the noise from others during times which would and have been joyful in the past.

 

Dr. Sarno said "If it's too heavy to lift--you couldn't lift it!" I assume you're new to TMS, since your narrative is couched in the physical/structural vocabulary. You need to change your thoughts when you get TMS symptoms to the psychological/emotional issues that are creating your symptoms. You mentioned several situations that create TMS stressors, the holidays and the anniversary of your friends death. When you get the symptoms you need to get to the point where you recognize them for what they are : TMS. If you're in excrusciating pain you may take a time out, put lie down, put your feet up, take a pain killer, a bag of ice, check out the TMS forums for reassurance or read a few pages from a good TMS book. Granted, if you have a house full of guests and are about to serve the turkey, this may not be ideal--but a 10-20 minute time out to let the bird cool down before cutting may be all you need. You could let hubs take over the entertaining duties for awhile. Some times you need to make time for yourself and get off the TMS battlefield momentarily. You must get to the point you believe it's TMS and not due to physical injury.

 

Thanks. I know you’re right. Even if it did bug me a bit it escalated as the evening turned from just baking and cooking to the actual arrival of guests. I guess I was bummed because TMS wasn’t invited to the dinner and yet shows up to try to ruin it like a drunk uncle. I suppose I should give myself credit for letting it happen and still getting enjoyment out of my guests and good food. I think I was just a bit wistful for the days when I just cooked and enjoyed myself. I know I have to go through it to get out of it I thought for some reason it wasn’t going to show up that day. If I hadn’t lifted the turkey it would have been something else. I do get kickbacks out of activity though. It doesn’t stop me. I am going to a spin class w earplugs and a feeling of confidence that I will move throughout my day feeling an endorphin high rather than a TMS low. I am not new to this. It’s just been a loop de loop for me. Everyone is different. I am not on a straight trajectory. Rowing not drifting is the best I can do. Doesn’t anyone feel like TMS shows up and gets in the way of enjoyment? It does for me even when I know what it is. I am just thinking about the laughter and the food and thinking about why my unwanted guest pulled up a chair.

Aa