1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
    Dismiss Notice

Day 1 Time to start

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Alex3645732, Jun 27, 2022.

  1. Alex3645732

    Alex3645732 Newcomer

    So I think its finally the time for me to really start a TMS program. I graduated today and got the whole summer to finally do some inner work, because a lot is needed. These past 6 years of school led me to gain quite a number of TMS symptoms. Before that in middle school i was a completely fine boy who had no symptoms at all or anxiety. Looking back and imagining a symptom free life is quite literally impossible right now for me. My symptoms are not painful. Instead very very annoying. Its almost like my body really wants my focus on it. My only symptom that ever was painful was my lower back pain, and funny enough it was the only symptom that went away the easiest...

    A little bit about myself. I'm 20 year old male. At the age of 6 my family had to immigrate to a new country across Europe. Here, I was immediately put into school where for 2 years i couldn't talk at all to my peers as i was learning the new language. At the same time I was attending a school from my old country so I was still also learning my own language. This is where I think I started to feel conflicted. I was put into a whole new culture, while i was still developing my own from the old country. From then, I was always the kid that was 1 or 2 years older than everyone and I was also instantly the shy kid, but soon started to make friends over the years. After middle school, I went to a high school were none of my old friends went so I had to make brand new ones. Feeling left out as I was older than everyone, I still made a few really really good friends. High school was also where my social anxiety really started. In the 1st year I had crippling social anxiety but as the years went on it started getting better. This is also when i started to get obsessive about self improvement, I mean I read and researched so much there's basically nothing left to learn for me now, I was (and still am) that obsessive about it. So yeah, perfectionist personality, checked. And every time i fail to get a perfect day done with all my habits i go really hard on myself. I realise this now and need to calm down, but at the same time i need to carry on my self improvement journey, so this is another place where I feel I'm conflicted.

    In the second year of high school, I got my first TMS symptom (if we don't account my social anxiety as one).
    In June 2018, my Dad's sciatica made him nearly disabled (family history of TMS, checked). This put a lot of pressure on me, and soon I developed tinnitus, the next week I got golfers elbow and 2 months later, one of my symptoms that I still deal with EVERYDAY for the past 4 years... tingling in my mid back. I would honestly rather get pain in my back then this... Its just incredibly infuriating. And I guess that is it's goal huh?

    A year later I got back pain that went away and maybe comes back once in a while.
    But then in Jan 2020, I started getting tingling so specifically in my knee caps that it was so hard to find out what was causing it... I became really angry until i found Sarno's work. But by that time the left side of my back was numb too and still is today :/ I also started developing body spasms that remain to this day too. Its just... like I cant even anymore... I was very close to giving up. I have read all of his books when I found him in Feb 2021. And while I have more confidence, the symptoms remain.

    So, that's why I think it's time to start this program.

Share This Page