Three things that make me angry
When I'm done and I don't acknowledge what I've done
When someone is trying to get a reward for doing nothing
When I forget what I learned and rely on others,
Three things that make me sad
When I forgot what I did
I'm so sad that time goes by
When I think about it and work hard, but there's no reward
Jo Sung,
I’ve been pondering this particular post for a few days, wanting to respond in a meaningful way. I don’t know if I can, but a few words from a stranger might be nice to hear.
First, the passing of time IS sad, particularly when we reflect on how we spent it and what was said or done. This one, for me, and for others, is a frequent lament. While reflection is important, we are better served by emphasizing these things instead:
- What’s happening now?
- How are we feeling?
- What do we want?
- What do we have to give up in order to get it.
Second, I’d like to address working hard with no reward. This one has at times also made me mad. But I am older and wiser now and can more easily see that in the long run, my hard work paid off. The time I may have spent envying those who received what I thought was undeserved recognition took energy away from me. Energy I personally needed to fuel myself.
In this culture, we have a saying. “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” This means that the most vocal and persistent among us get the most attention. And often, that translates to immediate reward.
That, however, does not always equal long-term success. In my experience, it’s the hard work that will pay off. And I believe it will for you.
I hear your frustration and am not discounting it. Life is simply not fair. Given that, your job is to find ways to reward yourself while figuring out you.
I think this TMS site is a reward. Someone, or perhaps many more, through very hard work, put it together and offers it for free! Imagine the selflessness involved in that! Playing your computer games is a reward. Having strict, but goal-driven parents who want you to study hard can be viewed as a reward. Having successfully served in the Korean military is a reward. Taking a walk or jogging is a reward. I think you see where I’m going with this line of thinking. It’s all about how you choose to view things.
This forum can be ideal for you. It is full of others who have difficulty but are also learning. It offers collective wisdom, methods and opportunities for personal growth. Stick with it and keep telling your truth. Remember too, truth can be fluid. I’m with you!
