Those constant symptoms...

Today's Dani quote
"If your inner voice still sounds like perfection, pressure, criticism, or disappointment, then your body will keep bracing. Even when you’re doing all the right things.
Your body hears everything you say, even the thoughts you whisper.
If it still sounds like strict control or blame, it can’t feel like safety."

 

I'm sorry @Rusty Red for all that you're going through. We're here with you.

Have you watched those city walk videos on YouTube? Do those trigger symptoms in you?

Wait, what???

 

I haven't. I will check those out.

I really want exercise back.

 

Well I think I'm officially on the injured list. Took a few days off and ran yesterday, stubbornly kept telling myself I was fine even with a sharp pain in my hamstring. Now my leg is a mess. Guess we'll see what the full body MRI shows next week.

 

They're doing a full body MRI? Wow, never had one of those done.

If you've torn your hamstring that will show up pretty clearly - anything else is probably TMS.

 

P.S. I have a close running friend that has been wrestling with hamstring issues for years. Now, bear in mind that most of my running group is fairly extreme - train for and do multiple ultramarathons every year, 50K to 40milers to 50/100 milers - this particular guy doesn't do the 100m stuff but by all measures of a normal person he is doing some extreme stuff, especially at 50+ yo. Anyway, he has been in and out of rehab/PT for his "weak" (per his PT) hamstrings and usually follows the cycle of PT then back to running for awhile then back to PT (to according to him "relearn all the stuff all over again") and then back to running again, repeat ad nauseam. One symptom he gets in particular is hamstring pain while driving long distances. I've asked him often "how strong do your hamstrings need to be to not be in pain while sitting?" Of course he has no answer. I tell him that his hamstrings are certainly stronger than his 80yo mother and she doesn't hurt while sitting? I also gave him "Healing Back Pain" several years ago and he gave it back to me later saying he read it (but I have my doubts).

So pretty obviously TMS right?

 

Hope you feel better, Rusty, no matter what it is. ❤️

 

With everything I've been dealing with, I chose to go this route, it won't be covered by insurance. It's a self-pay procedure you can have done at a local facility here. I know it's going the medical route, but I finally decided I needed the peace of mind that there was nothing more overall going on and then I can move forward however it turns out. I want it to be TMS but right now I can't even bear weight very well on the leg.

I definitely get what you're saying about the PT. I've done those cycles and they never do much. Might just need to baby step back into running with shorter runs once it cools off a bit.

 

I can just testify that TMS can do some extremely unusual things, Like you can’t stand up. It took me a long time to accept that TMS can really do that. But believe me, I’ve been living it. I’m just saying it’s possible. I hope they find whatever is wrong with you through your MRI. One way or another. It takes a lot of work to believe that your TMS brain can actually make your legs not work. It’s insane. (And infuriating.) It seems like the harder you, personally, resist your TMS and do things anyway… It just keeps upping the game on you.

 

It's pretty powerful, we all read all of these success stories about people that are bedridden, in wheelchairs etc (I myself was on crutches) and yet it's still hard to believe that this can happen to us. Our brain of course doesn't want us to believe.

 

It's so tempting to say f*** it and just try to run today. I'm annoyed with all of this so much.

 

I have had constant neck pain (started back, migrated to front of neck 3 years ago) for over 6 years, all waking hours, all day every day. I have known Dr Sarno for 6 years as well. Read all kind of TMS books, Dan Buglio videos, medidated etc., but I guess besides accepting it a long time ago that it is what it is has nothing has changed. Maybe 2-3 days in a month are satisfactory where I feel it does not bother me that much, otherwise it is a emotional rollercoaster of discomfort. I almost never spoke about after I had learned about Dr Sarno - I guess once a year or two I slip and tell a friend "you know, the pain is till there and it sucks", only to be met with a surprise "you still have it? I though you were fine!". A "trigger" to find a release, be it a video, book or forum post - honestly, from experience, it did not do a thing.

 

I’m sorry to hear you feel this way. But did you do any emotional work? That might be the part you missed, from what you wrote here. Knowledge is not always enough, and most people do not get the bookcure.